Real Vampires Get Lucky

“Trust me. I'm tougher than I look.” My jaw ached from grinding my teeth. No wonder she'd been attacked in an alley. Miss Congeniality she wasn't. I fought a serious urge to toss her skinny ass across the room, just to prove I could. I may look soft, curvy and about as dangerous as a plus-size lingerie model, but I am strong. Four hundred years of stored power strong. It would have been nice if I'd paid more attention to my body before I'd taken my own vampire turn. But back in the early sixteen hundreds women didn't run anywhere.

Lucky sniffed and went back to filing her nails, obviously unconvinced she couldn't take me, but smart enough to realize she wasn't exactly recovered from her near-death experience.

“I can hook you up with some good exercise videos. There really is hope for those thighs.” Lucky picked up her bottle of Fangtastic and took another swallow.

“You are too kind.” Had I saved her just so I could kill her? I counted to ten, then thirty. “No, no hope for these.” I sat down and plucked at the robe that I'd thought disguised my figure flaws. “When you're turned vampire, you're stuck. Not just with the nice, white teeth, but with the body you have now. Neither of us will gain or lose an ounce or an inch. Ever.” I reared back when Lucky launched herself at me and pressed me to her perky breasts.

“Thank you, oh, my God, thank you. I can't wait to tell Umberto to take his crunches and slam dunk them up his skinny-“

“Discretion, Lucky. But I'm sure it's tempting. I'd hate working out like that.” The closest I'd come to a crunch had been a really nasty encounter with a Big Grab of Cheetos.

“Everyone hates working out.” She sat back and actually smiled. “But Umberto doesn't get all the credit. I've got my plastic surgeon on speed dial. Doctor Rodrigo is a genius. Tummy tuck, face and brow lift. And you should see my breasts.” She gave me a wink, clearly in a good mood now. “Well, maybe not.”

“I'm sure they're awesome.” Lucky was living up to her name in the body department. Then she rubbed her forehead.

“Oh, hell. The Botox just wore off. I'd scheduled another round next week.” She gave me a hard look. “You're not kidding about this, are you? I mean, it's almost too good to be true.”

“It's true. I could work out to a thousand DVDs and run from New York to L.A. and back and not lose a single pound. The healing vamp sleep always puts me right back to how I was on day one of my vampire life.” She dug out her mirror again, then made a face. “There's no loophole, is there? For this mirror thing? What if I look into a pool of water?”

“Sorry, Lucky, you have to take the bad with the good. Now you're immortal. Forever, uh, young.” I wasn't about to bring up that birthday I'd seen on her license or we'd definitely end up bitch slapping each other. “Only thing that can take you out is a stake in the heart.” I remembered a near miss I'd had recently. “When you're asleep you're really vulnerable. That's why I live in a building with great security and double dead bolts on the door.”

“And a bodyguard, one who has the balls to stick it out, is a good idea too,” Lucky added, glancing at Valdez and obviously comparing him to the missing Brittany.

“Valdez always sticks and has the scars to prove it.” I looked at him too.

“Finally. Some appreciation.” Valdez smiled and wagged his tail.

I glanced at the clock again. I had to call downstairs and let them know I was running late. “You'd also die if someone cut off your head.”

“He'd have to catch me first.” Lucky welled up, blinking rapidly. “Oh, hell. I took precautions and thought I was safe before. I just don't know how anyone could have pulled this off.” She wiped her eyes then tucked her mirror into her purse and dropped it on the floor by her feet.

“That's something we need to think hard about. Whoever attacked you may want to finish the job when they find out you lived after all.”

“Because you saved my life.” Lucky managed a watery smile. “I'm sorry if I've sounded less than grateful. I am. I owe you. Big. And I always repay my debts.”

I took a moment to ponder just how a lady who could afford a Birkin bag could repay me. There was that massive Visa bill for one thing. And I could really use a wardrobe update. Hey, I'd wrought what amounted to a miracle, bringing a mortal back from the edge of death. A reward wouldn't be out of line. Especially since Lucky promised to be a major pain in my oversized butt.

“The way somebody tore open your throat, you were pretty close to dead when we found you.” No harm in laying it on.

“You sure a vampire did it?”

“I smelled vampire. So one had been around. Is Brittany . . . ?”

“Shifter with a little demon thrown in. I can't, couldn't, have a bodyguard who checked out during daylight hours.” Lucky glanced at Valdez again like maybe she was thinking of trying to hire him away from me.

Valdez obviously read her mind. “I'm on the last of a contract with Glory, then I'm giving up the bodyguard biz.” He yawned. “Long hours. Stress. Takes it out of you.”

“That's what Brittany says.” Lucky shook her head. “I can't believe she flaked out on me. I bet we find Brit's body . . . somewhere.” She swallowed. “Damned bloodthirsty bastard.”

“Not really. He or she let you bleed instead of draining you. But maybe when I drove in, I scared him off before he could finish you.”

Lucky stroked her throat. “I . . . I healed.” She shuddered. “Scar?”

“Not even a pink spot. You slept off the injury. A vamp perk.” I leaned closer and tried to read her mind. Not my favorite habit, but handy. All I got was a jumble of “Oh shits” and “Oh wows.” No surprise there. “Who'd you meet, Lucky? Any idea who did this? You have any enemies?”

“Dozens, vampire. Quit staring a hole in me. You want me to add you to the list?” Lucky glared, a knife suddenly in her right hand. Where had that one come from?

Valdez was suddenly between us, every one of his impressive canines on full display. “Chill, lady, or you're going to find yourself with a hurt that even Glory won't be able to fix. Understand?”

“Excuse me?” I jumped up and dragged Valdez back by his collar. Which would have been impossible if he hadn't decided Lucky was suitably warned off. “I can handle this.”

“Okay, okay. I guess I overreacted. You sure you don't have any Valium?” Lucky sighed and tucked her knife back into the sleeve of her red sweater. “I can't believe I almost forgot about this one.”

Clever. And scary. I guess I should have done a body search. Not that a knife wound would do more than slow me down a little.

“Valium doesn't work on vampires. I get that you're confused. What's with the knives?”

“I like knives. Goes with the name. Carver. Get it?”

“Sure. My boyfriend's called Jeremy Blade. He's into knives too.” I'd never understood it either. I mean, why bother? Not when a mortal is no match for a vampire anyway. And against another immortal? Well, good luck with that. My response has always been to run like hell.

“You're not taking this one away from me. I need some defense.”

“Not from me. I'm on your side, remember?”

“So you say.” She fiddled with her sleeve until you'd never know there was a six-inch blade in there.

“Yes, so I say.” I stood up, definitely tired of this conversation. “I've got to go to work.”

“You're not leaving me. Alone?” Lucky actually fluttered her eyelashes.

“I've got a business to run, Lucky. You weren't exactly in my night planner.”

“No, seriously. I'm freaking out. Maybe the shifter I met in that alley set me up.” She pulled out her BlackBerry again. “She said she lives near here. That's why we met where we did.” She looked up again. “You sure you didn't see Brittany? No sign of a struggle or a . . . body?”

“Nope. Valdez had a good look around.” I liked the idea that this had been a personal grudge. Bad news for Lucky, but better than thinking an out-of-control vamp was ripping open random throats for sport. The last thing we needed was Austin in a vampirehunting frenzy. I went through one of those in the early eighties in Tucson. Call me chicken, but I'd packed up and moved on in the middle of the night. Didn't even throw a farewell party. I still miss some of my mortal friends I left behind there.

“That shifter paid me what she owed me. No problem. But-” Lucky dug in her purse again. “Well, hell, that cash is gone.”

“Your purse was tossed aside. Last night you claimed a credit card was missing. And your diamond earrings.”

“I can't remember . . .” Lucky groped in her bra and pulled out her driver's license. She narrowed her gaze on me again.

“Stop it. I saw your birthday. My lips are sealed. And I didn't steal your gold card either.” I felt Valdez bump against my leg. “If I was a thief, I'd have left you for dead and strolled away with a Birkin bag to add to my purse collection.”

“Right. I owe you. I said I get that.” Lucky slipped her license back into her wallet, then swallowed and looked sick again. “You sure my throat didn't look like a cat clawed it open?”

“Nope. Definitely vampire. And you put up quite a fight. If a cat was involved, I'd have seen at least a few claw marks on you. I'm guessing the vampire worked alone. As for your bodyguard . . .” I glanced at Valdez. “Maybe she got scared off. If she went back to the alley later, all she'd find is a pool of blood.”

“I wish I could remember something. There are a lot of vampires who'd like to see me out of the picture.”

“What kind of business do you run anyway?” I thought I'd already figured it out, but I wanted to hear her say it. This sophisticated lady with a penchant for top-drawer duds was-“Loans. I make personal loans for clients who don't have access to traditional resources.” A loan shark. “Charge some pretty stiff interest, do you?” I'd been tempted to deal with these people myself. Back when I'd developed a little gambling problem. Valdez bumped me again. Okay, a serious gambling problem. Hey, I'd lived in Las Vegas. But I'd done the whole GA thing and had been clean for over five years. Of course that was like a nanosecond when you're talking eternity.