Rebel Angels

"You know what happens. I must bind the magic."

"And what will happen to me? Must I go?" Her voice is whisper thin.

It is the question I keep pushing away. But tonight, I have begun to realize--to see clearly, as Asha said--that this may not be forever. That Pippa might become one of those dark spirits herself if she does not cross. I can't bring myself to say it. I pick up a handful of dew from the ground. The drops gather in my fingers, becoming a silvery web that sticks them together.

"Gemma . . . ," Pippa pleads.

"Of course you won't have to go," Felicity says, storming past me."We'll find a way to change things with the magic. The Order will help us."

"We don't know that," I say gently.

"But it's possible, isn't it?" Pippa asks, hope turning her eyes bright again. "Think of it! I could stay. We would be together forever."

"Yes, of course. We'll find a way. I promise," Felicity says.

I flash Felicity a warning look, but Pippa's crying tears of joy, wrapping her arms about Felicity's chest, cradling her in her arms."Fee, thank you. I do love you so."

The paint on our hands has faded to nothing more than a shadow of lines and squiggles that disappear under the thin white lies of our gloves.

"You mustn't go just yet," Pippa begs."I want to pretend that I am also at the opera. And there is a ball after! Come on-- dance with me!"

She runs out into the grass, sweeping her dress from side to side, kicking up her heels. Giggling, Ann runs after. I pull Felicity aside.

"You oughtn't to promise Pippa such things." Felicity's eyes flash. "Why not? Gemma, she was lost to us, and now we have her back. There must be some reason for it, don't you think?"

I think of my mother's passing, of how keen the pain of her loss still feels, like a wound you think healed till you bump the fading bruise of it and feel the hurt anew. It is horrible. And yet . . . Asha's magic didn't work on Pip. Those dark spirits saw her. They courted her and hunted us.

"I do not know what we have, but it is not Pippa. Not our Pippa, at the least."

Felicity breaks away from me."I won't lose her twice. You can see she isn't changed. She's still our Pippa, lovely as ever."

"But she ate the berries. She died. You saw her buried."

Felicity won't hear it. "The magic. That will change things."

"That isn't its purpose," I say softly. "Pip is a creature of the realms now, and she must pass before she is corrupted."

Felicity looks out to where Pippa and Ann frolic in the fresh grass, twirling like ballerinas."You don't know that."

Fee . . .

"You don't know that!" She breaks into a run.

"Dance with me, Fee," Pippa calls, her smile radiant. She takes Felicity's hands in hers. Something passes between them that I cannot name. A tenderness. A togetherness. Just as if we were all gathered in Spence's grand ballroom, Felicity places her hands at Pippa's waist and pulls her into a waltz. They twirl and twirl, Pippa's ringlets catching the wind, wild and free.

"Oh, Fee. I do miss you so." She wraps her arm about Felicity's waist and Felicity does the same to Pippa. They could be Siamese twins. Pippa whispers something to Felicity, and she laughs. "Don't leave me," Pippa says. "Promise me you'll be back. Promise me."

Felicity lays her hands over Pip's."I promise."

I need a moment to anchor myself. I walk to the river's edge to sit and think. The gorgon glides silently into view. "Are you troubled, Most High?" she says in her slick voice.

"No," I grumble.

"You do not trust me," she says.

*I didn't say that."

She pivots her enormous green head in the direction of the garden, where my friends are dancing in the sweet grass. "Things are changing. You cannot stop the change."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You will have to make a choice, and soon, I fear."

I stand, brushing the grass from my skirt. "I know you helped slaughter members of the Order. You didn't warn us when the water nymphs were near. For all I know, you could be part of the Winterlands. Why should I listen to anything you have to say?"

"I was bound by magic to speak truth and do no harm to your kind."

Once.

I turn to leave."As you said, things are changing."

We return to the empty box of the Royal Opera House just as the curtain falls for the intermission. We're carrying magic with us. It clings to my body in a way that makes me aware of everything. The slow hiss of the gaslamp mounted on the edge of the private box roars in my head. The rising lights sting my eyes. And people's thoughts rush through me till I feel I'll go mad.