Renegade (Heven and Hell #4)(12)
Author: Cambria Hebert

A pained expression crossed his eyes before he blanked it out and looked down at his food. “No.”

“Cole, that’s ridiculous. You can’t avoid each other forever.”

“I’m not avoiding her.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” I scowled. “Why don’t you at least let me tell you what I learned when I…” My voice faded away as I thought about what I did to Gemma.

“When you mind-robbed her?” Cole said blatantly.

I swallowed and nodded slowly. During the summer a new ability surfaced. Whenever I touched someone I could ask them a question and be instantly transported into their mind and the memory they were seeing at that moment—usually the answer to the question I wanted to know. It makes me feel like I’m robbing someone of their private thoughts and feelings… hence the term “mind-robbing.”

Cole sighed. “Sorry. That was rude.”

“It’s okay,” I said, but he shook his head and sighed. “I already know how she feels.”

“You what?” I asked, thinking I hadn’t heard him right.

“I talked to her.”

“You just said you hadn’t.”

“I haven’t since then,” he half growled.

Well, this was a touchy subject. But I wasn’t about to let it go. “You know she loves you, then?” I said, gauging his reaction. I couldn’t understand why he was so grouchy if he finally knew how she really felt.

Unless of course she lied to him about it.

“Yeah. But she still won’t be with me,” he said, losing interest in his lunch.

“Did she tell you why?” I prodded. I didn’t want to blurt out what I knew if he didn’t know it too.

He made an impatient sound in the back of his throat and looked at me. “She thinks that me being with her is only going to ‘taint’ me and ruin my eternity.” The tone of his voice told me everything I needed to know about his opinion on that.

Before I could respond, he said, “It’s the dumbest thing I ever heard. Who gets punished for loving someone?” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I mean, really, Heven. Of all the bad shit we’ve seen, you think me and Gemma together would be what God is worried about?” He shook his head like he was trying to understand.

“I see your point.” I agreed. “But I also see hers.”

“Of course you would,” he muttered. “Women.”

“Hey!” I protested and threw my napkin at him. “Us ‘women’ just want you to not be doomed for eternity.”

“So freaking dramatic.” He rolled his eyes. “And it isn’t for anyone else to say how I live this life or the one I get after I die. That’s my choice.”

I didn’t have a comeback for that one. “So what are you going to do?” I said after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

All the air expelled from his lungs in one big whoosh. “I don’t know. It’s been hard to do anything because I spend so much time with Kimber.”

“What’s up with that anyway?”

“She needs me right now. Being trapped in hell messed her up, Heven. And her parents didn’t even notice she was gone. They aren’t even in town right now. They’re never home. I went over there after everything happened…” His eyes turned grim. “She was sleeping in the closet because she was so scared. She was alone in that huge house.”

“You feel responsible for her,” I said, feeling a pang of regret for everything Kimber went through in hell.

“Yeah. I do. We were together a long time, Hev. I know she’s a bitch and she acts all superficial, but she isn’t, not really. She doesn’t have anyone. She’s alone and scared.”

Guilt burned through my insides like a shot of alcohol going down my throat. I hated that feeling. I felt guilty that she was going through so much and I wasn’t there for her. Guilty because I remember lying in the hospital after China’s attack and being scared and confused. No one would come see me, but she did. She came with nail polish and playing cards. She acted like nothing happened. It kept me sane.

But a lot happened since then.

How could I forget everything she’d done to me? To Sam? To all of us?

Could I ever trust her again?

“She betrayed me,” I snapped. I didn’t want to feel guilty about this, and it made me angry that Cole reminded me to feel that way.

“She also gave us that last marble that got us out of hell,” Cole said quietly.

“Not Sam,” I shot back, remembering being drug out of hell and leaving Sam trapped behind.

“She told me the reason she got locked up.”

“What?” I asked. “Did she insult Hecate’s hair?”

“She tried to get the map back,” Cole explained. “I guess after she talked to you, learned the truth about everything, she felt guilty. She tried to get it back, so Hecate locked her up.”

All the anger and sarcasm drained out of me. “She tried to get it back?”

He nodded.

“Well, that’s something to think about,” I murmured.

Cole looked across the room and I followed his gaze, watching as Kimber entered the cafeteria, her fancy water in hand. I noticed how she didn’t make eye contact with anyone, and she kept her head high. I noticed how people whispered about her as she passed and she pretended not to hear. Then I saw her lock her eyes on Cole and the way she looked at him… It was as if she’d been stranded at sea for days and he was her lifeline, slowly towing her to safety.

Kimber smiled.

And that’s when I knew.

I knew Kimber might not be as changed from who she used to be as I thought. And I also knew she was still in love with my brother.

Maybe there was a chance Kimber and I could be friends again. I wasn’t sure. But I was sure Cole didn’t belong with her. He belonged with Gemma. And if I had anything to do with it, Cole and Gemma would work things out very, very soon.

Sam

I glanced up and down the hallway, making sure it was pretty much empty. Kimber had her head buried in her locker as I approached, and I wondered if maybe this was a good idea. It probably wasn’t, but there was no one else to talk to and she was probably the only one that could help. Assuming she agreed to help. With Kimber you never quite knew.

“Can we talk?” I asked, keeping my voice low.

Kimber jumped a little and then poked her head around her open locker door to look at me. “About what?”