Requiem

“No,” I said, grinning at her endearing over-enthusiasm for everything.

I didn’t bother bringing my laptop; every class would be the same. Beth fil ed me in on the last few details she’d taken care of at Titan, and we discussed the monstrosity that was Sasha and the fact that she would be staying on.

“How far does she think sHe’ll go in that company, now that she’s made an enemy of you?” she asked, rol ing her eyes.

“You make the mistake of believing she thinks. She did take on the Christmas party. Makes me wonder what she has up her sleeve.”

“Hopeful y breath spray,” Beth said, covering her mouth. “I can’t believe I just said that.” Beth giggled, and I shook my head.

My attention diverted to a group of boys that walked through the door. Josh led the group. As Ryan’s best friend, he wasn’t a fan of mine, and made it quite clear that he’d rather not be around me. Chad admitted that Josh accused me of being the reason Ryan left. Beth came to my defense, of course, but that didn’t make him wrong.

Once Josh caught a glimpse of me, his eyes became unfocused. He looked right through me before pretending to be deeply engrossed in whatever his friends were saying.

Beth glared at him as he found his seat. “He real y needs to get over himself.”

“He’s just being the same kind of friend to Ryan that you are to me,” I mumbled, fiddling with my pen.

“Guess I can’t fault him for that.”

I found myself fighting the urge to tel her that Ryan was not only back, but just a few minutes away. Not being able to see him when he was so close was bad enough; even though I had thought a several different scenarios where I could happen across that information, I couldn’t tel Beth until Claire gave me the green-light.

“Good morning,” the professor said, passing out the intro packet for the class.

I sighed when Beth handed me a stack of papers, and I took my own, passing on the rest. I didn’t bother thumbing through the pages like the other students, but settled into my seat, making a valid effort to pay attention. The mundane pieces of my life used to be what I was so desperate to hold on to. In the last month, it was al I could do to make an active effort to be a participant. Col ege seemed trivial compared to the other part of my life.

After classes, I smiled at the sight of Jared’s Escalade waiting in its usual spot. He had warned me that morning that I wouldn’t see him at lunch; he said to give me time to catch up with the girls. Something about ‘holding on to a shred of normal’…I was too busy being offended to hear.

He quickly opened my door for me, and I wrapped my arms around his middle.

“Wel , hel o,” he said, amused at my eager affection.

“Oh, like you didn’t miss me, too,” I said, smiling up at him.

He raised one eyebrow. “Do you even have to ask?” He watched me settle into my seat, and then sighed. “I thought I should tel you. Claire call ed.

Ryan should be released soon.”

“Can I see him, yet?” I said, a bit more enthusiastic than was appropriate.

Jared tried to hide his disappointment at my words. “He hasn’t told anyone he’s here. How would you explain your visit?”

The tightness around his eyes gave him away. He was stil worried. Now that Ryan had been wounded, and was home after such a long time away, I imagined his concern was at a new level.

“Ryan and I are different people, now. Everything has changed,” I said, touching Jared’s cheek with my fingertips.

“As long as Ryan is in love with you, I wil always have reason to worry.”

I leaned in to to kiss him. “How can I convince you?”

Jared pul ed away from me, shifting uncomfortably.

“What is it?” I said, frowning.

“Don’t get mad…,” he began.

I crossed my arms. “A disclaimer? This should be good.”

He took a deep breath. “Until we find the book, and figure out a way to keep you one-hundred percent safe, I think the intimacy should be kept to a minimum.”

“Oh, for the love of God, not this again,” I said, rol ing my eyes.

“It happens al the time, Nina. We can’t risk it,” he said, covering my hand with his.

I smirked. “You can’t use your Abra Cadabra to figure it out?” I leaned in to kiss his neck. “Haven’t you heard of the rhythm method? We’l put our own spin on it.”

“I would consider myself an intel igent person, but no, can’t say I’ve heard of it.”

“You just figure out when I’m ovulating, and we abstain for those few days. Voilà! Birth control. We have the Hybrid edge.”

Jared’s nose wrinkled in disdain. “That doesn’t seem like a solution to me.” He leaned away from my kisses, and I crossed my arms in a pout.

“It’s better than your proposal,” I frowned. “Are you saying you can’t do it?”

“What makes you think I can?”

My eyes narrowed. “Eli said once we were intimate, your senses would change. You’ve never once mentioned how, or even if they have.”

“That discussion is better left alone,” he said, maneuvering out of my embrace. He faced forward, clearly unwil ing to elaborate.

“Tel me I’m wrong,” I said, lifting my chin in defiance.

Jared quickly commandeered the drivers seat, shoved the gear shift into drive, and pul ed into the street. “Nina, I shouldn’t have to tel you this, but I wil : I love you more than anything on this earth; more than anything in the universe. I love you more than life, more than my family, and I love you more than I love being with you in that way. Your safety is, and wil always be my first priority. This isn’t the kind of risk I took sitting beside you on that bench the night we met, or tel ing you what I am. Making a mistake concerning an accidental pregnancy wil mean an al out war, because that is exactly what wil have to happen to keep you alive.”

The smile or wink I was hoping for never came. He had always been careful to protect me from the truth without tel ing a lie, but the seriousness of the situation warranted a bluntness Jared usual y avoided.

It took a long time for me to reply. My initial reaction was to complain, but Eli’s words echoed in my mind. He had told me it was time to break away from being the victim. He was very clear that my time to feel sorry for myself was over.

That gave me an idea.

I attempted a smal smile. “I understand you know better than me what wil happen. You know exactly what consequences to expect when a choice is made—especial y if it’s the wrong one. I’m human, Jared. But that doesn’t make me frail. You have to give me more credit than that. It’s time you teach me some of what you know.”

“Like what?” Jared said, dubious.

“How to shoot a gun, for instance…and basic self-defense wouldn’t hurt.”

Jared pinched the bridge of his nose. “A gun isn’t going to help you in this particular situation, Sweetheart, much less a solid knee to the groin.”

“You don’t think I can do it.”

“Why would you need to when you have me?”

“What if you’re busy?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You mean too busy to do my job? The one that includes protecting the love of my life from certain death?”

He was trying to scare me, but I stood my ground, determined to prove my case. “Do I have to remind you of the night at the restaurant? Claire stayed behind while you took care of business?”