Ricochet (Renegades #3)(63)
Author: Skye Jordan

“I don’t know…” He shook his head, the whole incident still unreal. “I still don’t know how you survived.”

“They told me the explosions cauterized my vessels enough to staunch the flow until you got the tourniquets on. If you hadn’t been so fast, so efficient, I’d be dead.”

This was too much to absorb. Ryker was overwhelmed by his positivity. His hope. His optimism. His lack of anger, bitterness, hate. “How…how can you… How did you get here?”

Mike exhaled, gave Ryker that matter-of-fact look, and said, “Therapy, Ry. Don’t act like a stereotypical dumb shit. Find someone to talk to. Someone who can help you sort things out in your head. I only have one or two nightmares a month now. How many do you have?”

“I don’t count.”

“Thirty, right. One every night?”

Ryker sighed.

“Are you seeing anyone? A woman?” Mike asked.

He frowned at the sudden change of topic and lifted a shoulder. “You know me.”

“I do. And that’s another thing you’ll want to think about changing. Knowing I had Julie and Travis to live for—that’s what kept me going. That’s what kept me alive. That’s what I live for now. Without them, I would have eaten my gun a long time ago.”

Ryker’s chest felt brittle, like his ribs were going to crack from the internal pressure.

“That bullshit they tell you at every psych eval,” Mike went on, “about guys with a girlfriend or a wife at home coping better, healing faster, suffering lower PTSD episodes, than those who don’t—it’s not bullshit, Ry. It’s not only true, it’s what makes life worth living.”

Ryker clasped his hands between his knees and stared at the floor.

“I’m badgering you,” Mike said, “because I love you. You know that.”

“I know.” Ryker nodded. “You know I love you too.”

“I do. How long are you in town?”

“I’m not in town exactly. I’m helping a buddy on a project a little over an hour north. I report back on the twenty-third.”

Mike rolled his chair to the coffee table, picked up a business card, and extended his arm, offering the card to Ryker. “That’s my shrink, but you’d never know he’s a shrink. Talking with him is like getting a dose of my dad’s wisdom. Promise me you’ll think about calling him.”

Ryker nodded, suddenly exhausted—emotionally and physically. “I promise I’ll think about it.” He slid the card into his pocket. “Chappie said he’s coming up her on his first day back and whooping your ass at basketball. Better get your lazy ass on the court for some practice.”

“In his dreams,” Carmello said, sitting back again. “I can whoop his ass just like this, in the chair with one arm, but with my prosthetics, he’ll need a fuckin’ army to beat me.”

“Mikey,” a female voice said from the foyer as heels clicked on the hardwood. “How many times do I have to tell you not to swear? I’m starting to think you’re doing it on purpose just to get another spanking.”

Carmello’s laugh was deep and rich, one that warmed Ryker in a very cold place. “Come here, baby. I want you to meet someone.”

Ryker stood, running his hands down the thighs of his pants, nervous again.

Her voice went distant a moment as she moved into another room, then came toward them. “If you keep making friends like this, I’m gonna have to put you to work. Our barbecue bills have gotten way out of hand.”

The woman who stepped into the living room was tall, brunette, and pretty. She was dressed in a navy suit with navy heels and a cream blouse.

She held her hand out to Ryker. “Hi, I’m Julie.”

He took her hand tentatively, giving her room to pull out of the grasp when she found out who he was. “I’m—”

“This is Ryker, Jules,” Carmello said.

Her smile fell. Her big green eyes darted down to meet her husband’s gaze. He nodded. Ryker pulled his hand back, already working up his good-bye even though he wanted to stay and hang with Carmello. It would be too painful for Mike’s family to have the memory of the incident—

“Oh…” she breathed, emotion rushing her face, and tears filling her eyes. “Oh…wow. I never thought I’d get a chance to meet you.” She shifted on her feet, and Ryker pushed his hands into his back pockets, wishing he could melt into the floor. “I…I…wasn’t prepared…”

“Uh-oh,” Carmello said, “here come the waterworks. Jules, he’s a guy. Don’t make it a big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” she snapped back, making tears flood over her lashes. “They don’t come any bigger than this.”

“Look, I’m really sorry,” Ryker said, stepping back. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to see how—”

“Upset me? You didn’t upset me,” she said with an attitude matching Mike’s. “You…you’re… God…”

And she lunged toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and held him so tight he had to turn his head to breathe. Ryker pulled his hands from his pockets, not sure what to do with them. He cut a look at Carmello, who was grinning like an idiot.

“Thank you,” she whispered through tears with another squeeze of his neck. “Thank you for bringing Mike back to us.”

16

Rachel slid her pen down the line items on the latest building supply invoice and her finger down the packing slip for the delivered items. Her vision blurred again, and this time, blinking didn’t make it better.

She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her lids, rubbing at the fatigue. A nap sounded like heaven, but she didn’t have the time. Josh had dragged out the supposed quick visit in town, trying to make it into a freaking date or something. Thank goodness he’d left to check on another site this afternoon. But he’d be back soon. She knew that three days a week would turn into five. Or more.

She’d been backed up on work ever since she’d returned. New employees, the cook, the housekeeper, bookkeeping… She’d been running all over the site since she’d returned and just recently sat down to start on paperwork, only to have her vision blur.

Of course, no sleep last night hadn’t helped. Or the way she kept thinking about Nathan today.

“Stupid men,” she muttered, picking up with the list where she’d left off.