Rootbound

For a moment, it felt as though we were back in the Rim, hiding from our parents. Unaware of the world and the danger it held for us. For a moment, I could believe I was that little girl again, and he was going to be my prince.

The moment passed like the sun setting in one last burst of light before the darkness claims the sky; one last moment of defiance before it was done.

He crept in and sat on the other side of me. “I know I can be an ass.”

I closed my eyes. The last thing I wanted was an apology. “Don’t say anything more, Cactus—”

“I want to have that conversation now. The one you’ve been putting off. For years, if we are being honest.” He took my hand, and pressed it between his. “Lark. I love you, and nothing you say or do will change that. We love each other . . . I’ve loved you since we were children. That has to count for something.”

With my eyes closed and the smell of the earth and flowers infusing my skin and senses, it would have been easy to give in. But the raging storm and the sound of the trees creaking as they swayed were as strong in my ears as the scent of the flowers in my nose and on my tongue. There would never be peace in my life, not the way Cactus wanted. He didn’t understand.

Ash did. Ash knew me and knew I would always have to fight, that there would be no peace for me. Which was why I had to find him. He understood me in ways Cactus could never.

“I cannot be that person in your life, Cactus. I . . . don’t love you the way you want. Or deserve.”

“Bullshit.” His voice was soft as he leaned forward, his lips at the edge of my face.

Peta didn’t move, but a long low growl slipped out of her. “Prick, you push too far. Just like you always do because you are a selfish shit. She tells you the truth and you ignore her. Demand that she change her mind. Try to ply her with the emotions she does have for you. That is not love. That is manipulation and an attempt to control her.”

Her words resonated in my heart, and I opened my eyes, narrowing them as I did. Cactus was right in front of me, his face a breath from mine. I put a hand on his chest and pushed. “Back up.”

The hurt in his eyes was instant. “It’s not like that. I’m not trying to make you do anything. I think you get confused because of all the things that have happened and I just want you to see—”

Anger snapped along my spine as if the lightning outside our cover had struck my body. “I . . . get confused?”

Peta drew back and from the corner of my eye she shook her head. “Stupid. Very stupid, Prick.”

“Not like that. I mean . . .” He drew a breath. “This is two against one, you know. This conversation is between you and me. Not you, me, and your pussy cat.”

I pressed my hand into the earth in front of me and drew the power away from the plants he’d created until every last one shriveled into dried-up husks, the smell of the spring blooms dying on the air. I could have let go, but I didn’t. I kept drawing on the power of the earth, pulling all it would give me. Peta let out a squeak and Cactus shifted back until he was at the edge of the opening.

“I think it’s time you left.” The power roaring through me made my words hum and reverberate in the air.

“You’ve changed,” he said. “You aren’t the girl I fell in love with. That I’ve loved all these years. You aren’t yourself anymore, Lark.”

And then he was gone, back up to the human house to hide from me.

What had he said? That he would love me no matter what? So he’d either been lying or he was doing exactly as Peta said.

Making an attempt to manipulate me with the last of the love he knew lay between us.

The rage that lit me up was like nothing I’d ever felt.

Not even when I’d seen the truth of Bella’s past, and the abuse she suffered at the hands of Cassava, her mother. Watching my sister being beaten and manipulated as a child, through her own memories had been the fist time I’d truly unleashed my strength. The first time anger took my power and cast it far and wide in an arc of destruction. Since then, I’d been careful, so very careful not to lose control.

This moment eclipsed that anger. Not when I’d discovered the mother goddess was leading me by the nose to remove the rulers of the other families and replace them with the rulers of her choice had I been so hurt. Not even when I’d faced Blackbird and realized he was stronger than me, that I was at his mercy, had I been so frustrated.

I stumbled out from under the deck and ran to the edge of the cliff where the soft dirt met solid rock. Gathering the strength of the earth deep in my soul, I let it out, driven by rage, powered by pain and humiliation, and under it all, strengthened by Spirit.

I had no idea what I was doing, but for once, I didn’t care.

Spirit all but sang as I tapped into it, weaving it around the power of the earth until the two elements were a blur of colors racing up and down my arms, a beautiful twinning of deep green and the softest of pinks.

“What does he think? That I could survive two oubliettes and remain unchanged?” I screamed into the raging wind. “That I could survive the last battle that nearly ended our world and remain the weak maiden he knew as a child?”

The words were stripped from my lips as I said them, but they weren’t for anyone but myself. “That I would be the one he could tuck away from the world? That I would be his subservient wife? That I would let him be my hero?”

Peta was at my side, her paws wrapped around my lower leg, hanging onto me with all she had. She might have spoken, but I couldn’t hear it over my screams and the increasing storm. Couldn’t hear her over the emotions ripping through me as surely as the storm that kissed the land.