Ruthless Game (GhostWalkers #9)(29)
Author: Christine Feehan

“I’ve been thinking about that, Rose. I think the only thing we can do right now is to keep him as warm as possible and feed him as often as he’ll eat. Is he trying to eat yet?”

“I’m not very good at this,” she admitted. “And I don’t think he’s getting much.”

Kane moved around the bed to help her. He took the baby, cradling him protectively, while she tried to get herself into a more comfortable position. The baby felt featherlight to him. He looked down into the little scrunched-up face, and his heart expanded, his breath exploding out of lungs. His son. He’d never thought to hold his child in his arms.

“You’re a little miracle,” he whispered to the boy. “Look at this, Rose. He has fingernails. They’re so tiny you can barely notice them.” He inserted one finger into the tiny fist in order to inspect the little hands more closely.

He looked down at Rose, and their eyes met. Time seemed to stand still as they smiled at each other. He felt a little lost in happiness. It wasn’t a natural state of mind for him. He’d never thought much about being happy. He just was. He had a family, made on the streets of Chicago, but nevertheless a solid family. He loved each of his brothers and sisters and was fiercely loyal to them as they were to him, but this … Rose. The baby. Something like this could bring a man to his knees. He didn’t want to lose her once they were back in the real world, but he had no idea how to make her stay with him. His own parents hadn’t wanted him.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Rose asked, her voice almost shy.

“Because he looks like you,” Kane agreed. “Are you strong enough to try to feed him?”

“The book said I should try right away.”

She didn’t sound too sure. Kane handed her the baby and reached behind her to adjust the pillows for her. He should have been a gentleman and given her a little space, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the sight of her. Was there anything more beautiful? He doubted it. She cradled the baby to her, looking down at him with such love in her expression, Kane felt the welling of intense emotion all over again.

She swallowed hard and looked at him. “I want you to know, Kane, I wanted him. Never once, not one single time, did I ever contemplate an abortion. When I suspected I was pregnant, I was apprehensive because I was afraid for him, but not because I didn’t want him.”

He stroked tendrils of her hair away from her damp face. “I wanted him too, Rose. I will admit I didn’t like the way he was conceived, but I wanted you to have my baby. I know you think my attraction to you is all about Whitney pairing us together, but he can’t make me feel admiration and respect for you. He can’t control my other emotions through physical chemistry.”

“Thank you for that, Kane.” She nuzzled the baby’s mouth with her nipple.

They both held their breath while he rooted around unsuccessfully for a few minutes. Rose was patient, but he could see she was afraid he wasn’t going to take the offering. Without warning he latched on, and both of them let out a loud sigh of relief and then looked at each other and laughed softly.

“I have no idea how to be a mother, but I’m going to try, Kane,” she promised him.

“I have no doubts you’ll make a great mother, honey,” he said sincerely. “I wasn’t exactly raised with parents, but I had a few pointers from a couple of people. Between the two of us, we’ll figure it out.” Everything inside him went still, waiting for her reaction to his declaration.

Rose looked up at him, searching his face. “I don’t want you to stay with us because you think you’re supposed to, Kane. I might not look it, but I’m tough. And I’m capable of protecting him from Whitney once we get out of here.”

“I think you should know, Rose, for future reference, I rarely do anything because I’m supposed to do it. But I don’t want you to answer under false pretenses. I’m a soldier. Those in my GhostWalker unit are men and women I grew up with. We’re family and we trust one another. I know they’re coming for us. If you stand with me, they stand with you. They’ll protect you and our son just as I will.”

Her gaze shifted from his. “You worked for Whitney.”

“I was assigned to Whitney before anyone knew about the breeding program. He was already in trouble, hiding out, although he could use any military base in the world, and he was still considered to be of immense value. After the testimony of several of us, an investigation into his activities was launched. They can’t ignore what’s happening, and it’s driven him farther underground. Don’t get me wrong, he still has powerful supporters who believe in his work.”

Rose kept her eyes on the baby, her expression blank. Kane wanted to make certain she knew what she was getting into either way. He’d forced her once to do something no woman should have to do with a stranger, and he damn well was going to give her every choice he could. He wanted to make certain he disclosed everything to her.

“Sadly, there is another risk to any GhostWalker, both male and female. Now that some of us have children, I think that risk will grow, especially to the children. There’s a contingency in the White House, someone who wants us all dead. It’s no picnic I’m offering you, but those we can trust have banded together, and we look out for one another. We’re also preparing places we can defend with numerous escape routes. We’re pooling our resources to become powerful enough to stop both Whitney and the group who would like to see us all dead.”

“So you’re saying you will stay with the military in your present GhostWalker unit?”

“Yes.”

“What happens when they transfer you somewhere else?”

“Because we opted for the experiments, our contracts with the military are a bit different than normal. Without our agreement, they can’t break us up or assign us to anyone else. We try to go where we’re needed when they ask, but we have options.”

The baby appeared to have fallen asleep. She handed him back to Kane. “I don’t want him getting cold, and I’m suddenly so tired I can barely keep my arms up to hold him.”

Kane cradled his son close. “Rose, you have to know a few things about me. If you stay with me, I want a commitment. I want marriage, your word that you’ll stay and we’ll work things out. I’m not an easy man to live with, I know that. Jaimie and Rhianna tell me I’m bossy.”