Searching for Always
Luther shook his head. “That may be worse than my dad.”
Arilyn stared. Shock carved out the features of her face. “You were married?” she whispered.
He narrowed his eyes. “Yeah. I was married. Now I’m divorced.”
Silence descended. Luther and Eli shared a glance and then looked uneasily at their teacher. Clearing her throat, she seemed to try to shake off some type of mental fog. “W-Well. That’s excellent, Officer. Thanks for sharing.”
Hmm. Back to “Officer” now, huh?
She rolled to her feet and forced a smile. “That’s it for today, gentlemen. Eli, may I speak with you for a few minutes?”
“Sure.”
Stone rolled up his mat, stacked it neatly in the corner, and checked his cell phone messages. He grabbed her elbow as she walked past him. “Arilyn?”
“Yes?”
Oh, yeah, she was mad about something. He felt like he’d stepped into Antarctica. “I’ll wait for you outside?”
She shook him off as if he were an annoying bug. “No need. I’ll be a while with Eli.”
“I can wait.”
“Not necessary. Have a good day.”
She turned her back, smiled at Eli, and began chatting.
Stone cursed under his breath and stormed outside. Well, screw that. Screw her. He had finally given her what she wanted with her damn sharing, and now she was pissed at him? He couldn’t help the divorce. Yes, he had baggage. Must be nice to have a perfect life. Must be nice to be Arilyn Meadows.
He ignored the strange bite of pain that hit his gut and swore not to think about her again. He was finally back at work and had a few hours to kill before his shift. He was done mooning over a woman who was all wrong for him. Fuming, he got in his car and drove.
He didn’t realize until he looked up that he was at the shelter. Getting out of the car, he checked to make sure there were no strays running around. His nerves jangled, but he ignored the slight panic, making himself trudge into the main center. He scrawled his name on the volunteer list and headed toward the back. Trying not to wince at the noise, he strode past the barking dogs, nodding to another volunteer, and went inside Pinky’s cage.
The dog sat almost in the same spot as the other day. A twinkle of interest lit her eyes, and her head cranked around a bit. Then she went back to gazing into space.
“You’re a hard case,” he commented, stretching out his legs and leaning against the gate. “I don’t mind. I need some peace and quiet right now. I’m about done vomiting my feelings for everyone to judge. I mean, do you really want to talk about what happened to you? No. You dealt with it, and now you need to move on.”
No response.
He sighed. “Listen, you gotta eat. If your body collapses, those assholes win. You survived for a reason, girl. Arilyn got you out, and if you die on her, she’ll be heartbroken. I may be pissed at your rescuer, but I can’t let you fall apart on my watch.”
A tiny head movement.
“How’s your food? You need to eat to get stronger. Looks like crap to me, but what do I know? Tomorrow I’ll sneak you a hamburger. They’ll never know. Bet that’s a bunch of organic beans and rice. No wonder you don’t eat it.”
No response.
Stone didn’t mind. His temper calmed, and he kept talking.
THE NEXT DAY, ARILYN kept things strictly business. She escorted her crew to the local soup kitchen so the men could serve food to the homeless and be reminded of gratitude. Arilyn learned that being happy with the simple things of your lot helped to manage anger. When she struggled with her mother’s death and was ripped apart by rage, Poppy took her to the veterans hospital and showed her all the men and women who’d had their world ripped from them, too. Seeing the physical and emotional injuries and how they fought to not only survive but to live gave her some peace. It also gave her the strength she needed to begin sorting through her rage.
Screw you, Stone Petty. I won’t tell my secrets either.
She couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday. His confession stunned her. The proof she knew nothing about him and he’d never voluntarily share anything of himself confirmed how wrong he was for her. Of course, she hadn’t dumped her own truth about what had happened with her ex. But a divorce? Couldn’t he have given her a hint before, even in the counseling session? She was greedy to know all the details. How badly had he been hurt to find his wife cheating on him? They shared such an intimate, raw experience in two different worlds. Instead of feeling closer to him, he seemed miles away. His confession came out snide and cold, making her feel intrusive. She’d only wanted to help, but he was determined to keep his past and his emotions private. Refused to share.
They’d only shared a kiss. Well, two. Yes, they may have been earth-shattering to her, but it was another reminder that physical contact with Stone meant nothing. He’d never open himself up to more. Arilyn refused to acknowledge the sadness that accompanied the fact. She’d already known they wouldn’t work. The fact that she was suddenly despondent over the truth annoyed her.
Stop thinking about him.
Her gaze swiveled in rebellion. He surprised her again. Seems the staff at the Verily Soup Station knew him well. After some manly thumps on the shoulder, high fives, and general caveman talk, Stone took up an apron without any instruction from her and got to it. Watching him engage with the crowds that lined up squeezed her heart in a very bad way.
He seemed like one of them. With his usual cap perched sideways like some gangster, his worn T-shirt stretched over his wide shoulders, and faded jeans clinging to his tight rear, he was completely mouthwatering. She noticed he towered over the other guys, his fingers gripping the large spoon with a masculine grace she usually didn’t spot in such musclebound men. Legs braced apart, an easy grin on his face, he greeted them by name, talked sports, and never broke his stride. Luther and Eli kept looking at him with a faint twinge of admiration she’d never spotted before. The black sheep was getting some recognition. Too bad she wasn’t happy.