Seductive Chaos (Bad Rep #3)(37)
Author: A. Meredith Walters

I enjoyed feeling wanted and desired. I liked knowing I had someone I could call when I was feeling lonely. I liked knowing that there was someone out there who wanted to spend time with me. For whatever the reason.

I was social and I enjoyed attention. And I knew, subconsciously, that perhaps that said quite a bit about the state of my self-esteem. Though I knew I was pretty. I liked my body and I thought that I was intelligent. I had friends and family that loved me. But there was still something inside me that craved what a relationship could give me.

I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be cared for. I wanted my fairy tale happily ever after. I blamed Titanic and every 80’s power ballad ever released. Though how I had allowed myself to think Cole could offer me anything I was looking for was beyond me. Call it two-year insanity.

I was by no means some depressing ingénue who cried over the state of her love life and wrote bad poetry. I wasn’t deep. I didn’t think about world hunger or how to end the conflict in the Gaza strip. I liked to watch bad reality television and I was unashamed to admit that I enjoyed pop music beyond acceptable levels.

I was a drama queen. I was a bitch if you crossed me. If I didn’t like you, I wasn’t one to hide it. You’d know it. And I was addicted to infatuation. The anticipation I felt when I knew I was going to see the guy I wanted.

So there.

However, call it a growing maturity or maybe a lingering lack of closure where Cole was concerned, but I didn’t jump at the chance to let this beautiful, strapping male buy me dinner.

I could flirt with him, let him adore me with his eyes, but I wasn’t ready to make it more than that.

Not right now.

But this girl wasn’t dead yet. And I knew the day would come when I was ready to climb back on that horse and give it a ride again.

And perhaps Theo could be the horse.

Except he wasn’t a horse and the thought of riding him like one made me flush to the roots of my hair.

I cleared my throat and banished all thoughts of Theo riding out of my mind. I was determined to not let my need for attention, or my fear of being alone to dictate things. I would do things right.

For once.

So I didn’t comment with the tried and true Vivian Baily response meant to elicit another invitation.

Instead I gave Theo my best professional smile. Genuine if a little cool and shook my head.

“Honestly, we don’t have to talk about that.” I opened my drawer and pulled out the plans for the gala and handed them to him. “Since you’re here, why don’t we discuss the final ideas for the fundraiser so I can start getting orders put through.”

And just like that I became grown-up Vivian.

And I think I liked her.

My phone had remained quiet for the rest of the day. After Theo and I hammered out the final details for the gala, I had taken an early lunch. Gracie and I had made plans to meet at Barton’s.

Pulling into the parking lot, it felt strange to be here for anything other than drinking like a fish or watching the guys play a show. I wasn’t sure I had ever even bothered to eat the food.

I walked inside and was hit with a wave of grease and stale beer. It was pretty busy with the normal mix of businessmen on lunch break and college kids getting an early start on drunk-thirty.

Gracie was sat at the bar talking to Dina, who had been the main bartender for as long as I had been coming to Barton’s.

I slid into the stool beside my friend and crossed my legs. It was still strange not seeing Jordan behind the bar or Maysie waiting tables. This was where they had met all those years ago. They had found love amongst the fatty burgers and cheap beer. Lucky bastards.

“Hey, Vivian. What can I get ya? Your normal?” I cringed and shook my head. I couldn’t stomach a round of buttery ni**les at noon on a workday.

“I’ll have an iced tea and a Caesar salad, please,” I said, glancing at the menu.

“When did you become a teetotaler?” Dina smirked and I flicked my hair back.

“When I became a proud member of the gainfully employed,” I quipped. Dina handed me my drink and nodded.

“Good for you, girl. Gracie was just telling me about the show this past weekend. It sounds like our boys are doing pretty good for themselves.”

“Yeah, they are,” I agreed with a strained smile.

“I heard Garrett’s song on the radio the other day. The Perfect Regret one. I almost wrecked my car I got so excited,” Dina enthused.

“Wow, really?” Gracie piped up.

“Yeah, it was on that college station, KT102. I had almost forgotten how sexy Cole’s voice was. It made me want to strip off my panties there and then,” Dina laughed and I didn’t feel the jealousy or bristling irritation if that comment had come out of anyone else’s mouth.

Dina had never been competition for Cole’s attention given that she played for the other team and all. I was more her type than Cole was.

Not that that mattered anymore because who Cole chose to focus his attention on was no longer my concern.

Nope, I didn’t care in the slightest. I was done. Finished. Dunzo. Over it.

I sipped my drink and looked around the restaurant. I recognized a few people from Rinard College. Jaz, a waitress who had been at Barton’s forever was wiping down tables in her section.

My eyes skimmed over people eating their lunch until a movement caught my attention. Someone was waving at me.

I grinned. I couldn’t help it.

Because Theo was walking purposefully towards me. He had chucked his grey jacket and was wearing only a cotton shirt, rolled up at the sleeves. We had only parted ways an hour ago but I couldn’t deny that it was good to see him again.

“Are you following me?” I asked coyly, putting my iced tea down on the bar and swinging my legs out so that I was facing him.

Theo held his hands up. “No, I swear. No stalking. I was supposed to meet Tina from our finance department for lunch but she just called to say she couldn’t make it. I was getting ready to leave when I saw you. I think it’s fate, wouldn’t you say? Someone out there in the universe must want us to share a meal together,” Theo chuckled and sat down on my other side.

Gracie, who had been talking with Dina, was now looking at me questioningly. She widened her eyes as she took in the sight of Theo. He did make one hell of a first impression. Luckily he was looking over the menu and didn’t notice her blatant staring.

“Who is that?” she whispered less than subtly.

I rolled my eyes and put my hand on Theo’s arm. I felt his muscles clench beneath my fingers and my stomach fluttered.