Seeking Her (Losing It #3.5)(22)
Author: Cora Carmack

“So, Hunt. Where are you from?”

Distraction. Yes. Perfect.

“Where am I not from would be the easier question.”

“Military brat?”

I wished. Dad just went where the money was.

Trying to keep things light, I said, “Are you calling me a brat?”

She crossed her legs, and my eyes followed.

“If I were going to call you names, brat would not be my first choice.”

My fingers brushed her ankle. I told myself it was okay because it was distracting me from the drink in my hand. The lesser of two evils.

I said, “What would you call me, then?”

“Well, I’ve already called you soft.” I tried not to groan at the memory of that night. If I’d thought leaving then was hard, tonight was going to be brutal. “But I’m not above admitting when I’m wrong.”

My fingers drifted from her ankle up the back of her calf. She pointed her toe, and her leg bumped up against my hip.

“What brings you to Budapest?” I asked.

Her foot hooked around the back of my leg, her toes tickling the skin behind my knee. She smiled, all too aware of what she was doing to me.

“Nothing in particular. It just seemed like an interesting place.” She used that foot to pull me forward, and I didn’t resist. “What about you?”

I kept my touch light, even though I wanted to grip her legs and pull them open for me to slide between. “Following a whim,” I answered.

Her tongue darted across her bottom lip, and I was a goner.

She said, “Do you ever get any less cryptic?”

“I thought women liked a mystery.”

Her eyes were hooded, and I couldn’t even bring myself to feel guilty about any of this.

“Women love a mystery. But only if we think we can figure it out. Are you going to let me figure you out, Hunt?”

She couldn’t. Not ever.

I gripped the edge of her stool and leaned down to her ear. Her skin smelled salty and sweet. “That’s a two-­way street, princess.”

And God did I want to figure her out, even though I couldn’t return the favor. Not just her personality or her past. Every part of her. I wanted to know her like the back of my hand.

I was two seconds away from beginning that process, my eyes trained on her collarbone, the first place I wanted to taste. Then Jenny popped up right next to us.

“We’re going back in the bath, you two coming?”

I pulled away. Damn it, I had to keep pulling away. That was too close. I took advantage of Jenny’s distraction to place my drink on the bar, out of range.

Kelsey held up a glass that was still almost full and said, “We’re still working on these. You guys go. Have fun.”

After Jenny left, Kelsey took a sip of her drink, fixing her eyes on me.

It didn’t take Kelsey long to notice the absence of my glass. “You’ve not touched your drink. I know it looks a little girlie, but I swear you’ll like it.”

I sat on the stool next to hers. “I’m okay. Really.”

“Oh, come on.” She jumped off her stool, and leaned her flat stomach against my bare knee. “Try mine.”

I didn’t know where to look. Her face, that glass—­neither was safe.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re so serious. Loosen up a little. Have some fun.”

She took another drink, and her tongue trailed her bottom lip again. The ache rose up in my chest—­for her, for all of it. “Just try it. For me?”

She slid between my knees, and I settled my hands on her waist. To push her away. To pull her close. I didn’t know.

I stared at her lips, imagining the sweetness of her mouth paired with the strong edge of alcohol.

I could stay in control for her.

One drink wouldn’t kill me. And knowing I needed to watch out for her would help me keep it in check.

One drink.

One sip.

Just once.

I said, “If you’ll answer a question for me.”

She tilted her head to the side, and I reached out to trail a thumb along the slant of her neck.

“Deal.” She smiled.

She took one more drink, and then slid the glass into my hand.

It seemed tiny. It was maybe half full. Nothing that would do me any harm. I looked back at her smile. Quickly, I pulled the glass up and took a short sip before holding it out to her. She gave me a look. I could have brushed it off. But really, the drink hadn’t been that strong. Like lemonade, but a bit more sour.

I brought the glass up and took a longer drink this time. When I gave it back, there was nothing but ice left.

She smiled, her lips close to mine.

“My turn,” I said. “The other night . . . what did you mean when you said you were tired of being?”

She froze. Maybe I was pushing too far, but I needed a change of subject. I needed to know something of worth because the guilt was already crawling across my skin. And a voice at the back of my mind was asking again and again, What have you done?

She said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She looked away, but I used a finger on her jaw to bring her eyes back to mine. “It’s just . . . I look at you, and I see a beautiful woman in the prime of her life, traveling to exotic places, with the world at her fingertips. But I think that’s just what you want ­people to see. And maybe I love a mystery too, because I can’t seem to make myself stop thinking about what’s underneath all that, what you don’t let ­people see.”

I brought my other hand up, cradling her face. Concentrating on her instead of the monumental mistake I’d just made, instead of everything I’d just thrown away.

It didn’t work. She pushed my hands off and pulled out of my reach.

“I told you . . . I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was wasted. You shouldn’t take one person’s drunk ramblings as truth.”

She turned away, picked up my abandoned drink, and gulped half of it down in one pull. I was relieved. If she drank that, one less thing to tempt me.

“I don’t believe you,” I said. “I think it was the most honest thing you’ve said to me. Maybe to yourself, too.”

She stayed facing away from me as she said, “Again with the knight-­in-­shining armor bullshit. I don’t need you to take care of me. You don’t know anything about me. So whatever you think you’re doing, whatever you’re trying to fix in me, you can f**k off.”

She took another big gulp, and I noticed her hands were shaking. All week, I’d been thinking about whether or not she was going to crash again, and now I might be the one pushing her to it.