Shades of Twilight

He didn’t like it. It made him furious.

He wanted to kick himself for becoming just one more person in a long line of people who had forced her to do something. It didn’t matter that she had responded to him. He had to make it plain that his return didn’t depend on her giving him the use of her body. He wanted her-hell, yes, he wanted her-but without any conditions or threats between them, and it was his own damn fault that he was in this situation.

He wanted to make his peace with Lucinda. It was time, and the thought of her dying made him regret the lost years. Davencourt and all the money didn’t matter, not now. Mending fences mattered. Finding out what had extinguished the light in Roanna’s eyes mattered.

He wondered if they were prepared for the man he’d become.

Yeah, he’d go back. Roanna seldom slept well, but she was so exhausted from the day of hard travel and emotional stress that when Webb finally let her sleep, she dropped immediately into a hard, deep slumber. She was groggy when she woke, unable for a moment to remember where she was, but over the years she had become accustomed to waking in places where she hadn’t gone to sleep, so she didn’t panic.

Instead she lay quietly while reality reassembled itself in her mind. She became aware of some unusual things: One, this wasn’t Davencourt. Two, she was naked. Three, she was very sore in all her tender places.

It all clicked into place then, and she bolted upright in bed, looking for Webb. She knew immediately that he wasn’t there.

He’d gotten up, dressed, and left her alone in this cheesy motel. During the night his heat had melted some of the ice that had encased her for so many years, but as she sat there naked in a tangle of dingy sheets, she felt the cold layer slowly solidify again.

It was the story of her life, it seemed. She had always felt that she could offer herself to him body and soul, and he still wouldn’t love her. Now she knew for certain. Along with

her body, she’d given him her heart, while he’d simply been screwing.

Had she really been silly enough to think he cared for her? Why should he? She’d done nothing but cause him trouble. He probably hadn’t even been particularly attracted to her. Webb had always been able to get any woman he wanted, even the prettiest ones. She couldn’t compare with the type he was accustomed to, in either face or body; she had simply been handy, and he’d been horny. He’d seen an opportunity to get his rocks off and taken it. Case closed.

Her face was expressionless as she slowly crawled out of bed, ignoring the discomfort between her legs. She noticed then the note on the other pillow, scribbled on the scratch pad stamped with the motel’s name. She picked it up, recognizing the black slash of Webb’s handwriting immediately.

"Be back at ten," it read. The note wasn’t signed, but then that wasn’t necessary. Roanna smoothed her fingers over the writing, then tore the note from the pad and carefully folded it and slipped it into her purse.

She looked at her wristwatch: eight-thirty. An hour and a half to kill. An hour and a half of grace before she had to listen to him tell her that last night had been a mistake, one he didn’t intend to repeat.

The least she could do was crawl back into her severely stylish shell, so she wouldn’t look pitiful when he gave her the old heave-ho. She could bear a lot, but she didn’t think she could stand it if he felt sorry for her.

Her clothes were as limp and wrinkled as she felt. First she washed out her underwear and draped it over the noisy climate control unit to dry, then turned the temperature control to heat and set the fan on high. She carried her slacks and blouse into the tiny bathroom with her, and hung them over the door while she took a shower in the minuscule stall that sported a cracked floor and yellowed water stains. The cubicle quickly filled with steam, and by the time she finished, both blouse and slacks looked fresher.

The climate control unit was a lot louder than it was efficient, but still the room quickly became stuffy. She shut it off and checked her panties; they were dry except for a lingering bit of dampness in the waistband. She pulled them on anyway, then quickly dressed in case Webb came back earlier than he’d said. Not that he hadn’t already seen everything she had, she thought, and touched it as well, but that was last night. By leaving the way he had, he’d made it plain that last night hadn’t meant anything to him beyond physical release.

She combed her straight, heavy hair back and left it to dry. That was the major benefit of a good cut: it didn’t require much maintenance. The small amount of luggage she’d brought was locked in the trunk of her rental car, which was presumably still parked outside that grimy little bar just off the highway, but she wasn’t certain exactly where she was in relation to it. The only makeup she had in her purse was a powder compact and a neutral-colored lipstick. She made quick use of it, not looking at her reflection in the mirror any longer than was required to get the lipstick on straight. She opened the door to let in the freshness of the dry desert morning, turned on the small television that was bolted to the wall, and sat down in the lone chair in the room, an uncomfortable number with a torn vinyl seat, which looked as if it had been stolen from a hospital waiting room.

She didn’t pay much attention to what was on, some morning talk show. It was noise, and that was all she required. Sometimes when she couldn’t sleep, she would turn her own television on so the voices could give her the illusion of not being utterly alone in the night.

She was still sitting there when a vehicle pulled up right outside the door. The motor cut off as a cloud of dust blew in. Then a door opened and was slammed shut, there was the sound of booted feet on the concrete walk, and Webb filled the doorway. He was silhouetted against the bright sunlight, his broad shoulders almost stretching from one side of the door frame to the other.