Shame on Him

“I’m not a reporter and my name’s not Lori Wagner. It’s Lorelei Warner and I’m a private investigator. I was hired to solve Richard’s murder,” I explain.

Well, technically I was only hired to deliver a subpoena to Richard for their divorce. She doesn’t need to know I coerced my way into solving Richard’s murder with a man I thought I was falling in love with and thinks I’m worthless when it comes to this job. Those are just silly little details when I’m standing in front of a murderer and her accomplice.

“What? You lied to me? How DARE you!” Stephanie shouts. “I can’t believe this. I even had Mel put together some herbs for you and run your astrology chart. Your third house is in Neptune, by the way, which means your rational mind is going to try and deceive you in your pursuit of the truth in your heart.”

I have no idea what she’s blathering on about. Ignoring her, I reach into my back pocket for my cell phone to call the police. As soon as I pull it out, Melinda smacks it out of my hand.

“What the hell are you doing?” I scream at her, moving to pick up my phone.

As I bend down, I hear the click of a bullet being loaded into the chamber of a gun. I pause, and lift my head slowly to see Melinda aiming a gun at my face.

“Melinda! Put that away! You know how I hate guns. They completely mess with my aura. I feel a headache coming on,” Stephanie complains.

“Yes, listen to Stephanie. How about you put the gun away and we can talk?” I tell her, trying not to freak out that there is a loaded gun aimed right at me.

“What’s there to talk about? I love Stephanie and she loves me,” Melinda says with a shrug. “Her loser of an ex-husband found out about us and was gonna tell everyone. It didn’t matter that he only married her so no one would know he was gay and that the affair he was having was with another dude, his secretary, no less. He said if I didn’t leave town for good, he’d have my business shut down. I didn’t want Stephanie’s reputation ruined, and without my business we wouldn’t have any money. So I went over there one day and got rid of the asshole.”

Well, that explains Stephanie’s anger when she walked in on Richard having sex with his secretary. I suddenly feel her pain.

Stephanie covers her heart with her hand. “Melinda, I can’t believe you did this.”

Melinda turns to look at her and nods. “I might as well tell you I killed Andrew Jameson too. Richard told me right before I shot him that Andrew knew all about us. He confided in Andrew back when they were still friends, before Richard fired him. I’d been keeping an eye on him for a few days and it seemed like he was too busy drinking to care. But then this one showed up at his house and I knew he would tell her,” Melinda says angrily, pointing in my direction. “You probably hate me now, huh?”

Stephanie shakes her head back and forth frantically before running up to Melinda and throwing her arms around her. “I could never hate you! That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

With the gun still aimed at me, Melinda wraps one arm around Stephanie’s waist and plants a passionate kiss on her lips.

“If you knew about Richard, what was the point of telling everyone he had a porn addiction? Wouldn’t it have just been easier to tell everyone he was gay?” I ask Stephanie.

She pulls away from Melinda and shrugs. “I was afraid. I figured if people knew about him, it would only be a matter of time before they found out about me and Mel. I wasn’t ready for the world to share our love. He never had a porn addiction. I just made that up so people wouldn’t find out the truth.”

Right then, the front door bursts open and Dallas charges in with his gun drawn. “Drop the weapon! NOW!”

CHAPTER 20

As happy as I am to see someone else here to help me, I’m downright pissed off that it’s Dallas.

Melanie turns her gun away from me and aims it at Dallas. “I’m not putting my gun down. YOU put your gun down.”

Dallas takes a few careful steps into the house, glancing over at me. “You okay, baby?”

I scoff at him and roll my eyes. “Don’t call me ‘baby.’ And while you’re at it, fuck off.”

He stares at me in shock and I turn away from him. Melinda shoves her gun into my ribs. I wince at the pain.

“Put your gun down or I shoot her,” Melinda tells Dallas.

He puts his free hand in the air as he bends down slowly and places his gun on the floor by his feet. “I’m putting my gun down. You don’t need to shoot anyone.”

“But, hey, if you’re in the mood, feel free to shoot him,” I tell Melinda, nodding in Dallas’s direction.

“Lorelei? What the fuck?” Dallas asks in confusion as he stands back up.

“I wasn’t born yesterday. Kick your gun away from you,” Melinda tells him.

Dallas huffs and uses the toe of his boot to slide the gun across the room.

“Now, let’s have ourselves a little chat and see what we’re going to do about this situation,” Melinda says.

“Oh, that sounds like fun. I think he should go first. He could tell us all about how he’s a lying sack of shit,” I say angrily, staring at Dallas.

“What in the hell is your problem?” Dallas fires back.

“MY problem? That’s rich coming from you. Hmmm, let me think.” I tap my finger against my chin and pretend to contemplate. “I don’t know what I’m doing, you only slept with me to make sure I didn’t screw anything up—am I forgetting anything? Oh, that’s right! The sooner you can solve this case, the sooner you can stop babysitting little old me.”