Shatter

“How the hell would you know? You don’t even know him!” I snapped.

“I know that no kid wants to see someone they care about in a compromising position with the person they’ve called brother their entire life.”

“Shit.” I kicked the railing and shook my head. “Where are you?”

“Seaside.”

“Just… let me think about what to do, and I’ll call you back later tonight. Keep your phone on you, okay?”

“Fine.”

“April?” I was pleading, grasping at straws.

“What?”

“Why do you want the production company so bad? What’s so awful about giving him half of it? He gets what he wants, we don’t expose Demetri to all of this and everyone’s happy.”

“—I just. I can’t, Alec.”

“Why?”

“I need to go.”

“Don’t you dare hang up, April. Tell me. Now.”

She sighed heavily on the other end. “I need the money.”

“How is that even possible?”

“Look, I knew you wouldn’t understand. I need to go.” The phone went dead. I stared at it for a good five minutes before cursing and stuffing it back into my pocket.

I turned to see Nat staring at me, confusion in her eyes. “Everything okay?”

“It’s perfect.” I gave her my best fake smile and tugged her to me. “It’s fine because I have you.”

The need built up within me again. The need to forget all the shit and just lose myself in her. Numb myself to the hell that was my life.

My fingers moved to the hem of her shirt. I kissed her hard on the mouth and lifted the shirt effortlessly over her head.

“Oh, so it’s going to be like that?” she said breathlessly.

“Exactly.” I lifted her into my arms and walked her into the room, leaving the sliding glass door open. A cool breeze teased her bare skin as I laid her across the bed. “Like this.” I ran the back of my hand down her arm and watched as her eyes dilated and closed.

“I love the way you touch me.” She sighed happily.

I knelt on the bed and hovered over her. “And how do I touch you?”

“Like you’re afraid I’ll disappear if you don’t.”

She was more accurate than I would have liked. I nipped her lips with my teeth and moved my hands down to brace her hips. She was absolutely glowing. I swear the longer I spent with her the more beautiful she became to me. Nat tilted her head. “What are you doing?”

“Memorizing,” I said simply.

“The size of my hips?” She swatted my hands away. “Not romantic.”

I rolled my eyes and placed my hands back on her hips. “Not the size. And you’re perfect, by the way, so stop glaring at me. If you must know, I was memorizing the way your body fit so perfectly into my hands. Your curves, your skin. It’s like everything was made just for me.”

“It was,” Nat whispered.

Speechless. I could only stare at the beautiful girl in front of me. I was the luckiest bastard in the world. I had a girl who loved me more than life itself, who gave me everything she had and more, and here I was… stripping her of her clothes and possessing her with my guilt.

“What’s wrong?” Her hand touched my cheek while her other hand moved under my shirt, trying to bring it over my head. Chuckling, I pushed her hand away and took it off. “Hmm, that’s more like it.” She beamed.

“Nat?” I licked my lips and moved from my position hovering over her so I could just hold her. Though I wanted nothing more than to have sex and forget about the entire night, I needed answers.

The hard part about hiding everything from Nat was that somehow she had turned into my best friend, not just my girlfriend. When I had an issue or wanted to talk about something, I went to her. And now I couldn’t. It was bad enough that I couldn’t talk to Demetri or Jaymeson, but now I couldn’t even talk to the one person in the world I knew had the wisdom to help get me through this.

“How many times do you think a person can mess up before the damage is irrevocable?” I tucked her body into mine and placed my hands across her flat stomach and dipped my fingers into the front of her jeans, mindlessly playing with the fabric while I waited for her answer.

Her soft sigh didn’t make me feel any better. “I don’t know, Alec, I think it depends on the person and the situation.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m going to use you as an example, so don’t get mad. But when everything went down our senior year with Demetri, he was hurt and mad because he felt like history was repeating itself. I mean, in a way he was betrayed by you twice. The first time you did it you were being an ass. The second time was because you were being a protective ass.”

“Right.” My hands tensed against her skin.

“I know you would never do anything like that again, because you have me and you know I’m a crack shot with my pistol. But… I think if you would have kept on with that same behavior, there would have come a point where Demetri would have just walked away.”

“He can’t.” I choked and then cleared my throat. “I could never lose him.”

Nat turned around in my arms and cupped my face with her left hand. “Alec, you won’t. Why are you so worried all of a sudden?”

I opened my mouth to tell her everything, but no sound came out. Nothing. I stared blankly at her while her searching eyes examined my face with curiosity.