Shatter

The last picture wasn’t one from tonight.

Nope. It was one of the hotel room with April. The one that had been on the newsstand at the airport. When I’d first seen it, it only looked like April in the picture, but in the background I could fuzzily make out my face. It didn’t help matters that there was an unholy amount of pills on the bedside table, or that I was in the room with her.

The headline on that article read. “Ex-wife of multi-million dollar producer does X with rock star Alec Daniels.”

Fan-freaking-tastic.

I’d known I’d felt funny that night. I just didn’t know why. I’d taken X before, but I’d always known I was taking it.

Disgusted with myself, I punched the sand and looked out at the ocean. Everything seemed so calm around me. It was like the universe wasn’t aware that I was smack dab in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

I don’t even know how long I sat there, clenching the sand in my hands. I felt like I didn’t have any options.

What could I have done?

I had no idea Angelica was going to out me on national TV. We signed a waver. No way were they going to edit that shit out. I sighed and began counting waves. Maybe I could regain some sense of control if I counted them, categorized them. Ten minutes, and then twenty went by. I grew sicker as the sky clouded over.

Webisodes. We were filming webisodes, meaning that the episodes were going live almost immediately following. Ruben thought it would be more realistic if it were a live show.

Well.

It was real all right.

“Alec?” Ruben’s voice was too excited and grated on my nerves. A camera crew came bustling down the beach. “Alec, talk to us. Your girlfriend’s in there crying and she’s really upset, what happened?”

I punched the ground. “Ruben, not now. Aren’t you supposed to be gone?”

He shrugged and laughed. “What, you think it’s going to blow over? Maybe it will help if you talk about it. You know, like your brother did when he went to therapy last year.”

“Excuse me?” I jumped to my feet as Ruben backed up further.

“You heard me,” he said calmly. “Your brother was able to go to therapy for almost an entire year. Now look at how great he’s doing. It seems to me you needed the therapy more than he did. Tell us, Alec, how long have you been a sex addict?”

“A what?” I roared. “What the hell, Ruben?”

“Zoom in,” Ruben ordered the camera crew. “A sex addict. How long have you been a sex addict? How long have you been taking ecstasy before you seduce broken women in your bedroom and ruin their lives?”

“What. The. Hell. I would never do that!”

“Pictures.” Ruben held up a cell and handed it to me. “See for yourself.”

I scrolled through more pictures. The first one was the one that was on that stupid gossip magazine. The one that Nat had seen, but the other ones that followed weren’t of me. I was sure of it. The date said last month. Everyone knew I’d been in Seaside last month.

Angelica was in the pictures, next to a guy with dark hair, a guy with the exact, same tattoo on his back. But I swore it wasn’t me. I would never cheat. I would never—

And then I remembered Angelica’s words. “Either way, I win.”

Is this what she meant? She’d set me up either way? Just to get even? And prove a point?

“That isn’t me,” I said softly, channeling my anger at myself instead of everyone else. “I swear it isn’t me.”

“Alec, why don’t you tell us what happened? Once and for all, hmm?”

I looked back at the Beach House, then at Ruben. “I tell the truth and I’m out.”

“You have a contract.”

“You want your story or do you want me?”

Ruben regarded me silently. “The story. If you please.”

The guy seriously had no heart. I mean, we’d established that already, but geez, he was crazy.

“I want to be out of here before they see. Can you do that?” My voice wavered as I said it. I knew it would be goodbye. I knew Nat would hate me forever, but one thing that Ruben said stuck with me. Demetri was the better man. He’d dealt with his shit. I hid mine. I controlled mine. I was the idiot, not him. Maybe it was just me being a guy, but in that moment I refused to put Nat through that. She deserved more, and then maybe one day she would forgive me and find it in her heart to love me again. One thing was for sure, it would take her a hell of a long time to get over this.

But I’d hidden it too long. Protected too many people and kept too many damn secrets.

“I can do that,” Ruben said softly.

“Let’s go.” I walked back toward the Beach House. “I want Nat to be in the confessional, but no one else, okay?”

“Whatever you need.” Ruben smiled triumphantly as I stomped back to the house. I was going to hell, and I was dragging everyone down with me.

****

“What the hell is going on?” Ruben roared once we reached the downstairs.

Demetri was on the floor, blood dripping from his fists. Jaymeson was in the corner with an ice pack against his cheek. Nat and Alyssa were huddled in the corner helping both guys, and Angelica was sitting dejectedly on the couch.

“Fight,” Demetri muttered, rubbing the towel across his bloody hands. “Over, uh—”

“—the last bag of potato chips,” Jaymeson stammered from the corner.

“Is that a tooth?” Ruben pointed to the ground.