Shatter (True Believers #4)(52)
Author: Erin McCarthy

I ignored him and Jessica’s response and stepped right between Jonathon’s legs when he turned his stool completely. He widened his legs to accommodate me and then closed them again, clamping me between his knees.

“Got you.”

Laughing, I put my arms around his neck. “Yes, you have me. Will Miranda be upset if we leave? Do you need to give her a ride?”

“I walked and I think Miranda is just fine.” He gestured with his head.

A glance back showed his friend making out with the girl with the short spiked blond hair. “Oh. Excellent.”

“Do you mind walking?” he asked.

“No. It’s just a few blocks to my place. I left my bag at Rory’s but there’s nothing in it I need tonight.”

“Perfect. Let’s go then.” He leaned closer and murmured in my ear, “We need to stop for condoms on the way.”

My cheeks got hot. I nodded, not wanting to talk about it. I knew we needed to discuss more reliable birth control, and we really needed to share our emotions about what I couldn’t even bring myself to think about right at that moment, but I wasn’t ready. It would ruin my mood, ruin the joy I felt in looking at him and feeling that swell of love rise in my chest every single time my gaze locked with his.

“Let me pay my tab and tell Miranda we’re leaving.”

Suddenly I changed my mind about wanting another drink. “Let’s have one last drink and then we can go, ’kay?” I cupped his face and gave him a kiss. “Mm. I love smooching you.”

“Smooching?” He laughed. “You are so damn cute, I really can’t even stand it. If you want a drink you can have a drink. What would you like?”

“I would like a vodka martini now that I am legally twenty-one, the last of all my friends. I want to sit here and sip from a glass like a big girl.” Sure, that was part of it. But maybe part of it was that I didn’t want to freeze up and panic when it came time to get naked, not because I didn’t desperately want to have sex with him, but because I was terrified that I’d lost the baby, terrified that we could go through that again.

I didn’t want to think about it right then. So I found my own stool next to him and I talked and laughed with my friends and Jonathon and drank my martini. I’d been avoiding the situation for two weeks and I knew I couldn’t avoid it forever, but just for tonight, while I was feeling the giddiness of knowing Jonathon cared about me, I was going to keep on with the ignoring.

Which meant the buzz that had been dulled came roaring back and by the time we left the bar, I was feeling sassy. It took three times as long to walk back as it should have because Jonathon and I kept stopping in doorways to make out.

“Oh, God, I want you so much,” he murmured as we grinded on each other in the alcove in front of the record exchange shop.

I saw the retro LP album cover posters on either side of us, the cold wind whipping behind us, but neither really registered. My head was spinning, with vodka and love and desire, and I wrapped my leg around his, wanting closer. “Take me.”

His fingers had popped the button on Rory’s jeans and were already down my pants. He was stroking me while we kissed and I couldn’t believe how good it felt, how hot and wet I was for him. “Oh,” I moaned. “Don’t stop. I’m going to come.”

“Really? Now that is f**king hot.”

It was. I let my head fall back and there on the sidewalk, with Jonathon shielding me from view, ears cold, yet body feverishly hot, I had an orgasm from his talented touch. I bit my lip and shuddered, forehead on his shoulder. “Shit.” My mouth felt thick and hot.

He pulled his hand out of my pants and redid the button. With a smile he said, “Let’s keep going. We may not be feeling the cold but it’s only twenty-five degrees outside.”

“I guess we don’t want frostbite in important parts.” I took his hand, his fingers warm and slick. Knowing what that was made me aroused all over again, and walking only reminded me of how wet and aching my inner thighs were.

When we went into the gas station to buy condoms, the fluorescent lights were harsh and I blinked, the warmth and the sudden need to act normal subduing. Jonathon picked up a twelve-count box and got himself a cup of coffee. I knew that I had a naughty little smile on my face. I couldn’t help it. I was very aware of me and Jonathon and I couldn’t wait until our bodies were perfectly aligned with each other.

He offered me a sip of his coffee as we stood in line behind a guy buying cigarettes. “Blow on it first,” he said.

I raised my eyebrows. He cracked me up. Because I couldn’t see it was hot? “Thanks.” I took a sip and then we were paying, the clerk trying not to react to our purchase, but doing a lousy job. He shook his head and said, “Man, I am so jealous of you right now. I’m stuck here until six.”

“Sorry,” Jonathon said. “But I guess there’s always morning sex.”

The clerk was big, like six foot five, with short curly hair. It shook when he laughed. “Except you need a girl, bro. Have fun.” He smiled at me. “Make him work.”

I laughed. It should have been creepy, but it wasn’t. He just seemed friendly and conversational, and, hey, who would want to be stuck behind the gas station counter on a Saturday night watching everyone come in, clearly out having fun? Not me. “Thanks.” I never needed to make Jonathon work. He just did. It was always way more about me than it was about him. I decided I needed to give him a little more tonight.

“So what is your favorite position?” I asked him as we left. “What is your fantasy for when we walk in the door?”

He gave me a sideways look. “Actually, I want you in nothing but that shirt and cowboy boots, right up against your door.”

I sucked in my breath. “Oh.” I was sorry I hadn’t waited until we were back to ask him. Because now my anticipation was only heightened. But we were already turning up the walk to my building.

Jonathon shoved the door open the minute I turned the key, grabbing my hand and dragging me up the stairs. I laughed. “Slow down!”

“Easy for you to say. You’re one up on me.”

True. I was already yanking my coat off as we entered the apartment and reaching down to yank my boots off. I undid my jeans and shoved them down as fast as I could. But he had already noticed how short they were.

“Why are your pants mid-calf? Is that a new style?”

“No, they’re Rory’s. I didn’t bring any jeans with me and when I decided we should come up to the bar, I wasn’t going to do it in pajamas.”