Shatter (True Believers #4)(53)
Author: Erin McCarthy

Jonathon was taking his coat and shoes off, too, but his eyes were trained on me. “I wouldn’t have cared if you had. I’m just glad to see you.”

I bent over a little, turning sideways, to drag down the jeans.

“On second thought, no, I prefer these.” His hands were suddenly on me everywhere, brushing over my front, my back, my br**sts.

I reached for the button on his pants but he pulled away, his hand covering mine to stop it. “No. I want to make sure I’m wearing a condom first, before we go any further.”

I flinched inwardly, though I just nodded. He was right, he was being smart. But it definitely killed the mood, the spontaneity, just a little. While he was taking care of that business, I put the boots back on after skimming my panties off. Then I unbuttoned my shirt, removed the tank and my bra, then slid the shirt back on, leaving it flapping loosely open.

“Oh. My. God.” Jonathon stared at me, his eyes sweeping up and down. He had removed his shirt, but his pants were still loosely hanging around his hips, his erection rising enticingly toward me.

Yum. He looked seriously hot.

“You are like off-the-fucking-hook gorgeous.” His hands came up but he didn’t touch me, just moved down in front of me like he was tracing the outline of my body. “How did I get so damn lucky?”

“As a man of science I wouldn’t think you would believe in luck.”

He laughed softly. “Then thank God for whatever came out of my mouth that night that convinced you to give me the time of day.”

“I think it was more that you felt sorry for me.” I leaned against the door, putting my feet a little apart, gripping the lapels of the shirt.

He shook his head slowly, taking a step toward me. “I feel sorry for every man who isn’t me right now.”

Then he lifted my left leg and wrapped it around the back of his thigh, and he gripped my ass with one hand, the other arm on the wall behind my head. The first push of him inside me sent me up on my toes, a soft moan escaping my mouth. Jonathon didn’t hold back. It was hard, it was fast, my back slamming into the door with each rough thrust. This was what he hadn’t been willing to do before, when I was sick and still pregnant, and while I had mixed feelings about the reason, I was definitely enjoying it. I was also shocked to have an orgasm, in a good way. I didn’t think I could even do that, but suddenly bam, there it was and I was whimpering and clinging to him.

He was getting a little louder, his expression fierce, but then suddenly he pulled out and came with his hand on himself, over the condom.

“What . . . are you okay?”

He nodded. “Just making sure.”

Well, that was deflating. I had wanted him to have full satisfaction, and I immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry, you should have said something. I could have . . .” I covered his hand with mine, dropping back down onto my heels.

“It’s okay. It was amazing.” He kissed me. “I love you.”

My heart squeezed. Aw. “I love you, too.” His arms were around my waist inside the soft shirt, and his chest was warm against mine.

“I forgot to take my pants off,” he said.

I laughed. “Well, why don’t you do that and we can get in bed and snuggle?”

“Is snuggling the polite word for it?”

“I was talking about cuddling. What were you talking about?” I sat on the edge of the bed and bent my knee to pull one of the boots off.

He groaned, his hand going into his hair. “See, when you do things like that, it’s impossible to imagine just rolling over and going to sleep yet.”

The amazing thing was that he found me sexy without any particular effort on my part. That seemed almost too good to be true. He had taken off the condom and tossed it in the wastebasket and was already reaching for another one. I yanked off boot number two and watched him ditch his pants.

“So that was your first fantasy. What position would you like now? Doggie style?” I asked, because I was pretty sure every guy on the planet would choose that as his number one position.

But Jonathon shook his head as he came over to me. “As much as I can appreciate that position, I want to see your beautiful face tonight.”

How could I do anything but melt when he said things like that? I took his hand and lay back as he moved over me. “For a scientist, you prove yet again that you are actually quite romantic.”

“Let’s just keep that between the two of us.”

It was all just between the two of us. It was an intimacy, a bond, I had never experienced. He had seen me at my worst, my most vulnerable, and he had never wavered. He’d fallen in love with me. I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch, and I was in awe of it. I didn’t feel like I deserved it. Wasn’t sure I knew how to keep it.

But for right then, I was going to enjoy it. Suddenly, it felt like the scariest thing I could do was tell him how I felt. Sure, I’d already said it in the bar, but this was different. Here, in my bed, where both good and bad had happened between us, it meant more to me. So as he urged my legs apart, I stared up at him. “I am so in love with you.”

His response was to lean down and kiss me, his glasses slipping and smooshing between us. “Kylie Ann, I am so in love with you, too. And it only has a little bit to do with how you smell.”

I laughed. “Good to know. And how do you know my middle name?”

“I listen to everything you say.”

That right there was what made him so sexy hot.

He listened to me.

To my words, to my actions, to my body.

When we finally drifted off to sleep an hour later, I already felt different, like the anxiety of the last six months were a balloon that had a pinprick, and all the air was finally out. Like I could close my eyes and sleep in peace, shoulders relaxed, mind clear and free of worry.

Happiness. I’d missed that crazy and elusive bitch.

* * *

When I woke up, Kylie was still asleep, her naked body draped across mine. I reached for my phone to see what time it was and noted the date. That was ironic. Kissing the top of her head, I questioned how it was statistically possible for a guy like me to end up with a girl like her. I could account for it if I were rich, in the tradition of nerds who change the world and get a hot chick to boot. But I was just a grad student with a possibly unhealthy interest in kinetics. I wasn’t exactly sure what she saw in me, but I wasn’t going to question it any further.

She gave a little sigh as she woke up, wiggling against me.