Shatter (True Believers #4)(62)
Author: Erin McCarthy

“Oh, wow. It sounds . . . wonderful.” Far away. It sounded far away. I felt sick. This was what I wanted for him. I did. I wanted him to choose the path that would make him happy. But it still hurt. I widened my eyes so I wouldn’t start crying.

“So you asked me to think and I thought. I decided I wanted to complete my post-doc. And Northwestern is where I want to do it. It’s a great program. A fresh start. A beautiful town.”

“Uh-huh.” My lip started to tremble. Damn it. I bit it to stop the trembling.

“But what I want to know, what I came to you to discuss, is if you would be willing to come with me. Because none of it means very much to me if I don’t have you.”

“What?” I stared at him blankly. I wasn’t expecting him to say that.

He took my hand and he swore under his breath. “You really didn’t think that I would want to be without you, did you? You thought that you were giving me some goddamn gift of freedom from you, didn’t you?”

I nodded.

“Except that’s not what I want. It’s never what I wanted.” He took my hand. “Kylie, I did spend the last two months respecting your wishes and thinking about the rest of my life and you know what I realized?”

I shook my head.

“That I want to spend it with you. I want to live with you. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up every morning with you. I want to marry you someday, with you in a white dress and our families there. I want babies and a house and you building a home with me. What is so wrong with that?”

“Nothing. God. Nothing.” I was crying now, my vision blurry. “That’s what I want. I want nothing more than that. I just needed to be sure that you wouldn’t regret it.”

“I want a life partner, not a lab partner, do you understand? The day I met you was the best day of my life.” He cupped my chin and stared into my eyes. “I never believed in destiny, fate, soul mates. It was illogical to me. Then I met you. And I realized that in this infinite universe with its massive complexity of matter, that two people could be destined to find one another and make sense out of what is otherwise a meaningless micro-existence, a mere nanosecond of cosmic time. That you and I were drawn to each other not by evolution, but by something that can’t be measured. Love.”

Oh, God. I lost it. The tears rolled down my cheeks and I closed the gap between us and kissed him. “I love you. I want the exact same things you do. I want us. A home. A future.”

He kissed me back, soft, delightful brushes of his lips over mine. “This is right. This is meant to be.”

“So it was written in the stars?” I whispered.

He laughed. “In a manner of speaking. Though never, ever repeat I admitted that.” Then he was pulling me onto his lap. “I love you so much. The last two months have been hell. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed in his scent. “I’m glad you want to be with me.”

He laughed. “Kylie Ann. You put me through hell, but I get it. I hope the time was useful to you.”

“It was. I learned to respect myself more. Does that make sense? I learned that I could dig myself out of an academic hole. And I learned that there is nothing wrong with wanting a domestic life some day.”

“Well, you’ll get to put some of that into practice if you move to Evanston with me. I’ll be really busy with the program, and I know you’ll have school, too, but you won’t have to work. We can live off the grant money. If you’re saying yes, that is, that you’ll go with me.”

“Duh. Of course I’m going with you.” Nothing could make me stay behind, not when I knew that he wanted to be with me.

He laughed. “That’s my girl.”

“I doubt I can get into Northwestern, though. Most schools don’t let you transfer for your final year, and certainly not when your grades suck like mine do.”

“There are a million colleges around there. We’ll find one that is right for you.”

I laid my head down on his chest. “I trust you.”

His arms wrapped around me. “I know that’s hard for you. But yes, trust me. Trust me to take care of you without dominating you. Trust me to respect you. Trust me to love you.”

Tilting my head so I could stare up at him, I said, “I do.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

One Year Later

“Are you ready?” I asked Jessica, adjusting the ribbon on my fuchsia empire-waist maid of honor dress. “You look stunning.”

She did. She was a beautiful bride, her hair in an updo, her makeup perfect, her body shown to advantage in a strapless princess gown. She had wanted a mermaid style, but out of respect for her father, had gone with something less revealing, in an ivory. She was also walking herself up the aisle, since her dad was officiating her marriage to Riley, and was waiting at the altar.

She gave me a solid nod, with virtually no sign of nerves. “I’m ready.”

I gave the signal to Robin, who started down the aisle, followed by Rory, and Jessica’s cousin. When I went down, I looked for Jonathon, and smiled at him when I spotted him midway. He smiled warmly back. My boyfriend was so cute. Then I looked up at the groomsmen and saw Tyler, standing solid next to his brother as his best man, and Phoenix, whose hair had grown even longer, looking comfortable and confident. Jayden was shifting restlessly next to Tyler, clearly nervous, and Easton, who had grown two inches in the last year, was fiddling with the cuffs of his suit jacket. Riley looked stiff, but very handsome, all the guys in matching black tuxes with black Converse on their feet.

Jessica’s father, who I had known since seventh grade, gave me a wink when I got to the front. He seemed surprisingly okay with the whole marriage thing. Maybe because Riley and Jess had been living together for two years. He had to know it was going to stick at this point, but also he probably preferred them to be legally married instead of just shacking up.

I knew by looking at Riley the second Jessica appeared at the back of the church that this was the real deal. He looked stunned and in the best way possible. He swiped at his eye quickly and my heart melted. I glanced at Jonathon, who was watching me, his expression warm and intense. Then I saw Jessica come down the aisle, beaming, regal.

“She looks beautiful,” Rory murmured to me under her breath.

She did. And her vows were strong, her voice clear as she repeated after her father. Riley’s were, too, his shoulders back, his normally teasing voice solemn. Then without warning he went rogue.