Shatter (True Believers #4)(9)
Author: Erin McCarthy

None of which could totally explain how I’d found myself buried inside her instead of going home to study for my own finals.

Fortunately, it was a short drive to my apartment.

Unfortunately, Devon was still up, sitting at the kitchen table, books spread in front of him. “Are you insane?” he said as a greeting as I slunk in, knowing I probably smelled like sex.

I could taste Kylie on my tongue and I wanted to let it linger awhile, but not there in the kitchen with Devon. His words made me feel guilty. “What?” I asked defensively.

“Why are you going out when your first exam is on Monday? Spectroscopy, if my photographic memory recalls.”

I just grunted.

He finally glanced up, looking annoyed. “And why the hell didn’t you text me to meet you out? Just because I’m Indian doesn’t mean I want to spend all my time studying. I resent that.”

Ignoring that bit of ridiculousness, I sighed and decided to tell the truth. “I wasn’t out having a beer. I was with the new girl I’m tutoring in chem.”

“Until midnight? Is she a total moron?”

For a second I wondered how far off from the truth that was, then I felt like a complete ass**le for even thinking it. Kylie wasn’t stupid. She just didn’t have a brain for science. I wasn’t sure she was going to actually pass her exam, despite our cram session. The concepts just seemed to float around her head, but never actually penetrate it. Maybe it was that she was distracted by her personal drama, but I didn’t think that was all of it. It just wasn’t her thing.

“We weren’t studying the whole time.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I had sex with her.” I went into the fridge, because suddenly I needed a drink of water. My tongue felt too thick for my mouth. I spotted a twelve-pack of beer and decided that sounded even better. I snagged one.

“You what? I repeat, are you f**king insane?”

“Probably.” I held the cold can to my forehead. The image of Kylie writhing beneath me had popped up in my head again and I had a renewed boner. I hung around in the fridge for a minute before closing the door and facing my best friend.

He was making an expression that was so ludicrous I almost laughed. Almost.

“Was she hot?”

“Of course she was hot! I’m not going to bang a chick three hours after meeting her if she looks like my uncle Mike.”

“Valid point. I concede the stupidity of my question. But how exactly does that happen? Hey, here’s molarity, oh, and my dick inside you.”

Now I did laugh. “Shut up.”

Devon pulled his earbuds down and tossed them on the table. “No, I am dead serious. I want an answer. This shit never happens to me. I want to know what I’m doing wrong.”

“Well.” How did I explain what had happened? “She’s struggling with chem.”

“Established.” He waved his hand. “Jump ahead.”

“I’m trying to explain, ass**le.” I popped the beer tab and took a sip. The cool liquid felt good on my dry mouth. “She was trying really hard, though, and she was sweet and funny. She looked up these incredibly idiotic chemistry jokes and it was . . . cute.” The women I dated were usually serious, like me. Kylie had amused me, made me smile.

“Then?” Devon looked thoroughly impatient with my storytelling.

“Then she started crying about her ex-boyfriend so I walked her home. And that’s it.”

“That’s it? That is not the f**k it. How do you go from a chick crying to coming? It does not work like that.”

“She was upset because her ex cheated on her. She felt unattractive and I was comforting her.” As I said it, I realized how ludicrous that sounded. It hadn’t seemed that creepy at the time.

His eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I’m so sorry your boyfriend f**ked someone else. If you suck on my dick you’ll feel so much better.” He picked up a balled-up piece of notebook paper and threw it at me. “God, I hate you. That would never work for me. I would end up with a black eye and a testicular torque.”

The paper missed me. “I didn’t say it like that, douche.”

“Word for word what did you say?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.” Which was a lie. I remembered every word, every kiss, every touch. But some things were none of Devon’s business. Like that piercing. I took another huge sip of my beer.

“Are you going to see her again?”

I paused. But then I said, “No.”

Kylie had made no move to give me her number, and she hadn’t said anything about seeing each other again. She’d even been noncommittal when I had offered to help her study a little more. Not that she needed my particular brand of, uh, studying, before her exams. Suddenly I felt like a jerk. I should have never gone into her apartment.

But then I wouldn’t have had that amazing sex.

My grip tightened on my can.

“Why the hell not? We can think of ways to make her cry so you can comfort her again.”

I bent over and picked the paper up and threw it back at him. Hard.

He caught it and grinned. “Was it at least good?”

“Yes,” I said shortly. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Thank God. I can smell you from over here, you dirty whore. Darwin’s theory of f**kability. Can’t wait to see the formula for that one.”

Yeah. Someday it would really be damn nice to live alone.

* * *

I curled up on Jessica’s couch, happy to not be alone. Rory, Jess, and I were sprawled out studying. Robin, who didn’t have traditional exams because she was taking all art classes, was out with her boyfriend, Phoenix. I was glad she wasn’t there, and that made me feel guilty. I wanted to just sprinkle pixie dust and make all my shitty feelings toward her go away, but it was hard. I knew she was drunk and didn’t even remember sleeping with Nathan, but she had still done it. I’d been shitfaced plenty of times and I’d never f**ked anyone’s boyfriend.

So it felt more comfortable not to have her there. Like old times. When it was just Rory, Jess, and me in a triple in our old dorm. Both Tyler and Riley and their younger brothers were out catching a movie. Cuddling under a blanket, I bit the bottom of my pen and went over the chemistry notes Jonathon had made for me again. Rory was lying on the floor, chin propped up by her fists. She had a giant to-go cup of coffee sitting next to her.

I knew she was studying and I shouldn’t interrupt her, but I also knew she was always around the chemistry lab. “Hey, Rory, do you know some guy who is a chemistry grad student named Darwin?”