Shattered by the CEO (The Payback Affairs #1)(25)
Author: Emilie Rose

“Why were you there, Tara? What did my father hold over you to force you into a position where he could take advantage of you?”

If she told him he’d probably despise her for letting her mother die. But she’d already lost him. What did it matter?

“I didn’t sleep with Everett that night, Rand. But I wish I had.”

“What?” He sat back, his hands fisting by his sides. She could see him fighting to stay calm. But his shock or disgust or whatever you called it was only to be expected.

“Your father offered me a way to possibly save my mother’s life. He said he’d take care of her and get her the best oncologist care money could buy if I’d move into Kincaid Manor and become his partner in every way.”

He shot to his feet, fury radiating from every clenched muscle in his body. “He used your dying mother to bribe you to become his mistress? Damnation, he’s sunk to a new low.”

She shook her head. But the doubts nagged like a splinter under her skin. “He was lonely. He needed a hostess. And he wanted to help me.”

“Tara, he was trying to screw me by screwing you.”

She flinched. Crudely put. But was it true? She didn’t know what to believe anymore. She’d heard so much conflicting information about Everett. And much of it pointed to Everett not being the nice guy she’d believed. How could she have read him so wrong? Look at the deplorable way he’d treated his own son.

She decided she might as well tell Rand the whole pitiful tale so he’d understand why she couldn’t accept the plum job he’d offered. “I accepted his proposition, but in the end I couldn’t follow through. Because I loved you. I had some crazy, romantic notion that one day you’d come back for me. Dumb. Huh?”

Humiliation burned her cheeks.

She’d waited for Rand like her mother had waited for her father. Tara wondered if that made her loyal or just stupid.

Rand dragged in a slow breath. “You loved me. You weren’t lying that night I left you. The first time.”

“No. But I lied and said I didn’t to try to win you back because I knew you’d refuse my terms if you knew I’d never gotten over you. It was never just about sex for me, Rand. I wanted a chance to make us work. My mother’s last words were ‘Live your life without regrets.’ And I had two. Not fighting for us. And not doing everything I possibly could to help her.”

She looked at her hands. “If I’d slept with Everett, I could have bought my mother more time or possibly even saved her life. But I was selfish and I was a coward. It was just sex and I should have been able to do it. That kind of cowardice isn’t something you could possibly understand since you were willing to do anything for the ones you loved. Even sleep with me.”

He sighed, and it was such a deep, heartfelt sound she had to look at him. “You mean I prostituted myself and you didn’t.”

“No! You were strong where I was weak. I respect your strength and your sacrifice.”

He sat beside her again, closer this time so that his thigh and shoulder brushed hers. “You weren’t the coward, Tara. I was. I let you go twice because I was afraid of what could happen if I loved you and let you down.

“My mother committed suicide. I always believed it was because my father was a faithless SOB. And I blamed myself for not finding a way to stop her. I’ve always been told I was just like my father, a chip off the old block. And when my high school girlfriend ate a bottle of pills after I broke up with her, it reinforced that point. I was a selfish bastard. But I’ve since learned that my mother’s death probably wasn’t my father’s fault, and it wasn’t mine. Serita’s faked suicide attempt wasn’t, either. But I didn’t know that then.”

Horrified, she shook her head. “Rand. I would never—”

He covered her mouth with his palm. The warmth of his skin stilled her lips. His other hand cupped her shoulder, holding her in place.

“Let me finish before we’re interrupted. I only have about ten minutes before Mitch gets back, and I don’t want to share this—you—with him.

“I thought I was doing the right thing five years ago by walking away from what we had. I thought I was protecting you. What I didn’t factor into the equation was you. You’re strong and smart. Too smart to hurt yourself. And you have too much integrity to sleep your way onto Easy Street.”

He transferred the hand covering her mouth to her shoulder. “I came back from Europe early to ask my father why he cheated on my mother. I needed to know why he couldn’t be faithful. Because after three weeks of trying to forget you, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to repeat his mistakes by hurting you. I was in love with you, Tara, but I was afraid of what Mitch and I have always called the Kincaid Curse. We Kincaids have a hard time keeping the ones we love.”

Surprise rendered her speechless. He’d loved her?

“I’ve fallen in love with you again. And don’t want to lose you.”

The emotion and the sincerity in his unwavering gaze made her eyes sting and her throat burn. “You have?”

“Yes. Back then I loved your naivete, your generous spirit, your trusting nature. I loved that you made me forget the stress of the job and showed me how to have fun. Now I love all those things and more. I love your inner strength, your ability to sniff out a crime and your loyalty to my father, Nadia, Mitch and even me despite the fact that I’ve been a blind idiot and an ass a good part of the time.

“It was because I loved you then that seeing you with my father was such a kick in the teeth. All I could see was that after saying you loved me, you’d turned to the one man I refused to share with. I wasn’t rational that night. I was hurt. And I reacted by striking back instead of listening.

“But striking back cost me my family. It cost me KCL. It cost me you. These weeks without you have been hell.”

“I’ve been here every day.”

He shook his head. “Not the same. You’re physically here and you’re giving one hundred percent to your job. But you’re not mine. I miss us. I miss you. The apartment I’m living in isn’t the only thing that’s empty. I am. And I would do anything—anything—to get another chance at winning your heart.”

Tears welled in her eyes. She blinked them back. But she couldn’t crush the hope welling in her chest. “You don’t hate me for failing my mother?”

His fingers tightened on her shoulders. “Tara, your mother waited a lifetime for the man she loved to return. What would she have said if you’d told her about my father’s offer?”

She swallowed and looked away. “She would have been horrified.”

“You had a slim chance of prolonging her life. But would she have wanted to live with the burden of knowing what price you’d paid?”

Her tears spilled over, burning trails down her cheeks, and her chin quivered as she compressed her lips to hold back a sob. She shook her head. “No. She would have hated that.”

He swept her tears away with his thumbs and tilted her face until she looked him in the eye. “You didn’t let her down, Tara, and you weren’t a coward. You held out for what you and she believed in and you continued her legacy of being true to your heart. It would serve me right if I’ve killed your love and you dumped me. I wouldn’t blame you if you walked out. On me and your job. I can survive without KCL. I did it for five years. But I don’t want to go another day without waking up beside you.”

He dropped to his knee in front of the sofa. “Marry me, Tara. Let me be that man for you, the one you love for eternity. Tell me how to make that happen and I’ll do it. Whatever it takes.”

Joy bubbled over in a laugh. She cradled his face in her palms and leaned forward to brush a gentle kiss over his lips. “You just did. Yes, Rand, I’ll marry you.”

She hurled herself into his arms. Rand rose, carrying her with him and lifting her off her feet until they stood hip to hip and heart to heart. He kissed her softly, reverently, and then lifted his head.

Tara smiled up at him. “I am just like my mother. I love you, Rand Kincaid. I always have. And I don’t ever intend to stop.”

“And I’ll be right here beside you, loving you back.”

Epilogue

Ten months later

Rand accepted Everett Kincaid’s letter from the attorney. He wasn’t looking forward to hearing from the dead.

“If you have any questions, please call,” Richards said, then left the office.Rand joined Tara on the leather sofa in his office. She reached for his hand and gave him an encouraging squeeze before passing him the letter opener.

“Do you want to be alone to read this?” Tara asked.

“No. You’re part of this. I want you here.”

Tara snuggled closer, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her cheek on his shoulder as he sliced open the envelope. If she noticed his hands were less than steady as he unfolded the sheets written in his father’s handwriting she didn’t mention it.

He angled the letter so she could read along with him.

Dear Son,If you’re reading this, then you’ve fulfilled the terms of my will, and you’re still at KCL with Tara by your side. And I’ve gone to wherever it is manipulative old men go when time runs out.

The competition between us drove us apart, but it also made you stronger. I tested you at every turn. I had my reasons. Good ones. You’ll have to take my word on that. And you passed every test.Tara passed her test, too. Five years ago she was in a tight spot and needed money. I offered to be her protector if she’d betray her feelings for you. She refused. Can’t say the same for the other women I thought might eventually become my daughter-in-law. I tested them. They failed.

I’m sorry that you had to witness that night and Tara’s test. I realize it made you hate me more than you already did. Worse, it drove you and Tara apart. That was never my intention.

For what it’s worth, I never cheated on your mother. Wasn’t even tempted. I worshipped the ground Mary Elizabeth walked on. But until you feel that kind of love you won’t know what I mean. If my plan worked the way I intended, you’ve found it with Tara by now. She’s the right one, son, and the only one worthy of you.

I’ve watched you since you left my shadow, Rand. You are a man who can stand on his own merits, one who didn’t climb the ladder of success due to nepotism. You’ve earned the right to be CEO of Kincaid Cruise Lines the hard way, and I have no doubt you’ll be a better one than I ever was.

I’ve never said it to your face, and now it’s too late, but I’ll tell you anyhow.

I love you, son. You’ve made me proud.

Your father,

Everett Kincaid

He’d waited his entire life to hear those words.A wad of emotion rose in Rand’s throat and nearly choked him. Tara’s arms tightened around him. He tilted his head to rest his cheek on her crown and closed his eyes while he struggled to gather his composure.

The letter answered so many questions.

He didn’t have to explain about his mother’s illness. Tara knew the whole story because it was something she’d needed to know before taking a chance on him. The doctor swore the chances of their children inheriting his mother’s illness were slim and Tara had been willing to risk the gamble.