Slowly We Trust (Fall and Rise #3)(59)
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron

“You’re not supposed to argue with me, I’m ill. What if I die and the last thing you said to me was mean? Then it would haunt you for the rest of your life.” I turned back toward her, but she just stared at me with her hands on her hips. She was actually wearing an apron. I wanted to make a snarky comment about it, but she was holding a knife, so I didn’t. And it was really nice that she was taking care of me.

“I’m not even going to say anything to that. But the next time I’m sick, you’d better be wiping my nose and cleaning my bedpan. I could be out driving around with my sexy boyfriend and eating Pop Tarts, but I’m here taking care of your ass. It sucks being your sister sometimes, you know that?”

“Yeah, well it sucks being your brother too.”

We were silent for a few minutes as Lottie kept chopping and throwing stuff into the pot.

“I love you, punk,” she said quietly.

“Love you, too.”

Eddie picked me up just at the edge of campus, at a bus stop. He was actually smiling when I got in the car.

“I bought her a present,” he said, pointing to the backseat where a giant pink bear was strapped in with the seatbelt. There were also three pink helium balloons.

“Wow.” I hadn’t even thought of that. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I should bring her something.

“Is it too much? I didn’t know if it was too much.”

“No, I’m sure she’ll love it.” I had no idea if she’d love it. I didn’t know anything about her. I knew nothing about my daughter.

“Do you mind if we stop somewhere? I need to get something,” I said. I couldn’t show up now without a gift.

“Sure, absolutely.”

He pulled away from the curb and turned on the radio.

“Have you told anyone about her?” I asked.

“Like, my family? No. I didn’t think they’d want to know.” They sounded like my family.

“What did your parents say when you told them?” he asked me, turning the music down.

We had a long drive and a lot to talk about.

“They said that there was no way I was having an abortion. I’d gotten pregnant and they wouldn’t let me take the easy way out.” They thought that. My parents thought abortion was an easy decision.

“Wow. I never knew they were like that. You never really talked about them much. You never really talked at all, actually.”

“I’m shy,” I said, but that wasn’t exactly the case. It wasn’t shyness that made me reluctant to talk to people. It was the fear that someone would treat me like my parents did. Or that they wouldn’t approve of me.

“You don’t seem shy now. This is weird, isn’t it? You and me, going to meet our daughter?”

“The weirdest.”

The drive to Maria’s house in New Hampshire took a few hours, along with a stop at a small gift shop along the highway to get a present for Emily. I wandered through the store, trying to think about what she might like. I finally found a little stuffed lion that played “Clair de lune” when you pulled its tail.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” I asked Eddie before I bought it.

“I’m sure she will,” he said.

We talked a lot along the way, about really intimate details of our lives. I’d had a crush on him in high school, but it was one of those distant things where you just liked somebody for no particular reason. He’d been an object I’d fixated on for a while. I hadn’t known much about him. On the surface, he seemed like the kind of guy who didn’t care about much but getting drunk and being with as many girls as possible. But I learned that he loved his younger sister, and he played the trumpet, but only in secret.

I told him about my Harry Potter obsession. And then we got to Will.

“So you’re seeing that guy you were with at the party?”

“Yes. We’ve been officially together for a few weeks, but it’s been a long time coming. It feels like we’ve been together for much longer.”

“Does he know?” He turned where the robotic GPS voice instructed him to.

“No. And I’m going to keep it that way,” I said.

“Really? Why wouldn’t you tell him?”

“Because I just can’t, all right? I just don’t want him to know.”

“Whoa, okay, okay. I’m not going to say anything. This is going to stay between us,” Eddie said, sensing my panic. I couldn’t help but panic at the idea of Will finding out.

Speaking of Will, I sent him a text message asking how he was. An answer came back a few minutes later. It was a picture of Will lying in my bed, sleeping. Lottie must be taking care of him. Good. I was glad she was there. I’d seen Will when he had a cold, and he definitely got pretty dramatic about the whole thing.

“Okay, here we are,” he said, pulling into a lovely yellow home with a porch and a little melting snowman family next to the swing set in the yard. There were also two cars in the driveway. If I could have picked the perfect home for my daughter to be in, this was it. The curtains fluttered in the window as Eddie stopped the car and turned it off.

“Okay, I’m freaking out. Are you freaking out?” He gripped the steering wheel and I thought he was going to throw up. I didn’t feel anything. As if I’d left my body and was looking down on myself.

The front door opened and someone came out.

“That’s Maria,” I said, unbuckling my seatbelt. The click somehow brought me back to reality.

The last time I’d seen Emily, she’d still been connected to my body. I put my hand on my stomach, remembering what it was like to feel her under my skin. I didn’t gain much weight when I was pregnant, but I always knew she was there. She was a constant mover and I wondered if, when she was born, she’d be an active child.

“Let’s go,” Eddie said, taking my hand and squeezing it briefly before getting out of the car.

Maria walked toward me, a smile on her face. When she got within a few feet of me, she threw her arms out.

“There’s my girl.” I let myself be folded into her embrace and hugged her back. I couldn’t even remember the last time my mom had hugged me. But Maria hugged me hard and didn’t let go.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” she said in my ear before she squeezed me one more time and let go.

“And you must be Eddie, we spoke on the phone.” Eddie stared at Maria, his hands in his pockets.