Slowly We Trust (Fall and Rise #3)(6)
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say that you’ll come with me this summer. We’ll go and you can fangirl to your heart’s content and we can drink butterbeer and I’ll go on all the rides with you.” This summer? No, that wasn’t possible. If he was planning that far ahead and thinking we’d still be together, then I had to set him straight, but not right at that moment. He was so happy and pleased with himself that I couldn’t do anything but mumble “thank you.”

“And, we should totally go when it’s Star Wars weekend. Two birds, one stone, right Aud?” Will beamed.

“Right,” I said, forcing myself to smile.

“It’s going to be so great,” he said, pulling me into a hug and kissing my cheek. “You’ll see. I can’t wait.”

I could.

The tickets were still stashed in the card, which was shoved under my mattress. I had no idea what made me put it there, but I had, and I wasn’t thinking about it. At least I was trying not to. The trip was definitely not happening now. I should really give the tickets back so he could try to get a refund or do something else with them.

My brother burping louder than a foghorn made me jump and remember that I was supposed to stop thinking about Will. I couldn’t do that watching a movie. My mind just wandered too much. I got myself a few more snacks and headed to my room. If there was one thing that could take my mind off Will, it was my good friend Harry.

I rarely let people in my room, because half of it was a Potter shrine, and most people didn’t understand my level of obsession with a gawky teenage wizard.

Obsession seemed to run in our family, though. Marco had his movies, Angel had her organic farm and my parents were currently obsessed with the idea of opening their own restaurant. They’d done other things before, from having a cleaning business, to running a used car lot, to a flower shop. Somehow they managed to make money, but then they got bored and were on to the next thing. I wondered how long the restaurant would last.

At least my Potter obsession was more than a few years old. I’d been hooked since I was eight and the librarian at school had put the first book in my hands and told me that I was at an advanced enough reading level for it. I’d devoured every book after that, and seen all the movies at midnight. Alone, mostly. Harry was the only man who had always been there for me.

I would still pick them up every now and then and re-read them, even though nearly every word was imprinted on my brain.

My favorite was Chamber of Secrets, so I picked it up and turned to a random page. I never read Harry Potter in order anymore. Turning on some music, I settled in for a lazy day. “On Top of the World” by Imagine Dragons had just started to play when my phone went off. Lottie was texting me.

Are you sure you’re okay?

She was so sweet, worrying about me. I typed out a message, deleted it and then typed another one.

I’ll be fine. How’s Will?

Typing his name was painful, but I had to ask. I waited and then the phone rang. I turned the music down before I answered.

“Sorry, I couldn’t really have this convo via text. He’s, um, he’s doing fine.” Her tone left a lot to be desired in the believability department.

“Uh huh,” I said.

“Okay fine. He’s binge watching Star Wars, which wouldn’t normally be a sign of trouble, but he hasn’t moved from the couch since you left. I’ve never seen him this way. Sorry, I know that I probably shouldn’t be telling you about this, but I just don’t get it, Aud. What’s the problem?”

I shouldn’t have answered the text. There was no easy way of getting out of this. The Imagine Dragons song ended and switched to “Let Her Go” by Passenger. Ironic.

“It’s complicated, Lottie. I can’t talk about it. I just wanted to make sure he was okay, and clearly he’s not and it’s all my fault. I never should have flirted with him, or gone out with him.” The tears were threatening again, but this time I could push them back.

“No, no. Don’t beat yourself up. It just didn’t work out, okay? It’s not the end of the world. Will’s gotten over girls before. He just needs some time and some distance. It’ll be okay, I promise.” I wanted to believe her, but the way he’d reacted last night told me otherwise.

“Look, let’s not talk about that. When are you coming back to school?” She forced me to shift topics, and I was grateful. We talked about going back to school and how much we were looking forward to it.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you I’m going to have a single next semester. My roommate dropped out and they said I could have a single if I paid a little extra,” I said. How could I have forgotten about that? I’d celebrated the moment I’d found out my roommate was gone and I wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore.

“Oh my God, that is the best news. We’re definitely doing some major redecorating when we get back. This is going to be so sweet, Aud.” It was going to be pretty nice. I could have the place to myself and not have to worry about anyone thinking I was weird for my little habits.

“It’s going to be great, you’ll see. Oh, crap, Simon is motioning to me. I have to go, but we’ll talk tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, bye.”

The next week made me realize that I needed to move out my parents’ house permanently. I just couldn’t live here anymore. It was like being a stranger in your own house.

It hadn’t always been that way. Just a few years ago I’d been closer with my parents and even with my siblings, but those days were over and I had to live with knowing that I’d caused the rift. They’d only reacted in the way they knew how and I couldn’t blame them for that.

Lottie, Katie and Trish all kept in contact with me and even Simon sent me a few texts asking how I was. But it was radio silence from Will.

I didn’t know how I felt about that. I should have been happy that he’d finally started to let me go, but I missed him horribly. Will was a ball of energy that lit things up and made me see the bright side in a dim world. He was also floppy and awkward and I liked that. He wasn’t perfect and he didn’t try to be, but he always wanted to be a good person.

A hundred times I typed out a simple message to him, just to start a conversation, but I deleted them every single time. He needed some time and some space before we could really try this friendship thing out. Had anyone successfully become friends with someone they’d once had feelings for? I didn’t know anyone who had, but I was sure they existed somewhere in the world.