Slowly We Trust (Fall and Rise #3)(61)
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron

“Do you like them?” he asked her.

“Boon!” she said again, laughing and trying to grab one of the balloons to hug it.

“Yeah, balloon.” His voice stuttered a bit and I could tell he was crying. “It’s so nice to meet you, Emily.”

“Do you want to hold her?” Maria said. She’d been quiet as Eddie and Emily talked, watching them both.

“I think Audrey should first.” I couldn’t move as they all looked at me. Well, except Emily, who was still captivated by the balloons.

“Do you want to hold her?” Maria got up and Emily protested being removed from the proximity of the balloons, but Eddie brought them back to her and they all walked over to where I sat on the couch.

“I don’t know . . .” I said. What if she got in my lap and started crying? What if she hated me?

“It’ll be okay, I promise,” Maria said, leaning down and placing Emily in my arms. Emily turned her attention from the balloons and looked up at my face, studying me like she’d studied Eddie, only this time for longer. One chubby hand reached out and gently grabbed onto my nose.

“Hi, Emily,” I said. “I’m Audrey.”

“A-wee.” My name from her mouth made me smile for the first time since I’d walked into the house.

“Yeah, that’s right.” She stroked my cheek and smiled.

“A-wee.”

We stayed with them for three hours, and Maria told me more about Emily and the specific type of cancer she had and the treatments. She’d been right when she’d said that Emily didn’t seem sick. She looked healthy and toddled around like a completely normal kid.

My daughter.

Maria and I watched as Eddie played peekaboo with the giant bear he’d brought, making Emily giggle uncontrollably. I pulled out my phone and recorded the sound of her laugh.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Maria said, giving me another crushing hug. “I knew you weren’t ready when you had her, and I kept away because that was what you wanted, but I always knew someday you’d be ready. I have something for you.” She got up and went to a bookcase and pulled an album off the shelf.

“I had this made for you and I’ve been adding to it as she’s grown. I’m a little obsessed with taking pictures of my kids, but I guess most parents are. I can’t help it, she’s just so entertaining.” She opened the album and it was a record of Emily’s life, up until now. Her first birthday and baths and steps and everything in-between. There was even a little dark curl, tied with a ribbon and tucked in a little clear window.

“From her first haircut. She seems to have inherited your hair, except hers is curly.”

“Mine was when I was little,” Eddie said, looking up. “Her hair’s curly like mine. But she looks more like you, I think. She’s definitely got your eyes.” She did.

“She’s a joy, Audrey, honestly. Our family feels complete with her. You know how they say things are meant to be? That’s what this feels like.” I nodded. It didn’t feel that way at the time. Not even close. Everything had been wrong.

Now, in this moment, things fell together. I didn’t really believe in fate, but I knew when something felt right. Meeting Will felt right. Telling I loved him felt right. And this. This was right.

When Emily got tired from all the excitement, Maria put her down for a nap and then made Eddie and me lunch.

“I’m sorry, I tend to treat everyone like my kids. It’s a reflex,” she said, laughing as she made ham and cheese sandwiches.

“I’m so sorry I haven’t been in contact,” I said, but Maria waved that off.

“What’s in the past is in the past. You’re here now and Emily’s going to know who you are. We’re going to be very open with her about where she comes from and who her parents are. It’s even better because now we know who her father is, so she’ll know everything. Eddie, sometime down the line, if you wouldn’t mind giving me a family medical history, I would really appreciate it.”

“Uh, yeah, I can do that,” Eddie said, taking the plate that Maria handed him. “This is surreal.”

“I bet it is,” Maria said, handing me a plate and we all sat down in the dining room with our sandwiches and chips and juice boxes.

“I’m so glad that the two of you are here. I know my sister hasn’t been as supportive as she should be,” Maria said to me.

“No, she isn’t supportive. But I think I’ve finally realized that I don’t need her anymore. She’s never going to be there for me, so I’m going to stop looking for her love and approval.” I looked down at my sandwich. I didn’t mean to say all that out loud.

Maria sighed and shook her head.

“I love her, but she’s got some screwed up priorities. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t cut ties with her as well. But you can’t choose your family.”

That reminded me of what Will said.

“Sometimes you can. You chose Emily.”

Maria smiled.

“True. I wasn’t sure, at first, about taking her, what with having the other two already, but then I saw her and I knew.”

She beamed and picked up her sandwich.

Eddie and I were silent when we got back in the car. Me with the photo album, and him with a framed picture and the promise of an album of his own. We had to get to the hospital so he could fill out the forms and get a cheek swab to get tested as a possible bone marrow match.

I wasn’t much of a praying person, but I sent a quick message in my mind to anyone who would listen, begging that he be a match.

“She’s so beautiful,” he finally said. “I kept looking at her and wondering how she could be real. She’s a person. A whole person.”

“I know. It’s hard to believe.” I found myself brushing the front of my pants, right where my scar was.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you were pregnant. And for the delivery and everything. I mean, I know now that you made the right choice for her, but I still would have liked to be there for you. It must have been so hard to do that on your own.”

“It was.” It had been. I didn’t know how hard until I was on the other side of it. At the time, I’d just been struggling to get through each day. Just get to the birth and then I could forget about everything that had happened. It didn’t work that way, though.

“And I’m sorry for being a dick initially. That was completely uncalled for.”