Solitary Man(25)
Author: Carly Phillips

“But?” Nikki sensed the hesitation in Janine’s tone.

“As much as I wanted you to open your mind and give Kevin a chance, we both know it’s a risk.”

She nodded. “I’ll prepare for that just in case. I may never break through that reserve or the doubts he lives with.” Though she planned to try.

The childhood—and alcoholic father—he rarely mentioned had left him with scars and the sense that he deserved the solitary life he’d created. If his past had formed the man he’d become, Nikki hoped to help reshape his future.

“Wish me luck, Janine.” Because she had the distinct sense she would need it.

* * *

To Nikki’s chagrin, Kevin had made himself scarce over the weekend. She’d left him alone, giving him his last hours of peace and solitude, she thought wryly. Her Friday afternoon doctor’s appointment had been rescheduled for Monday. The shuffle had given Kevin an excuse to hole up in the basement to clean and box some of his aunt’s things.

Nikki didn’t mind. Before she put any sort of plan into action, she wanted the doctor’s permission to get back on her feet. So here she was, sitting beside Kevin in the small office at Planned Parenthood, waiting for the okay that would shift both their lives.

Silence surrounded them, but again, Nikki let him have his way. A false sense of security, she thought, but he didn’t know that. Yet.

A brief knock sounded and the door swung open wide. Dr. Molloy breezed into the room, a smile on her face. “I’m glad to see you two here together.”

Nikki had been through the examination on her own, but Kevin wanted to be present for the discussion. Not only was Nikki grateful for his interest, she also wouldn’t turn down the chance at shared intimacy.

He reached over and grabbed for Nikki’s hand, taking her by surprise. “We’re in this together. Nikki understands that now.”

A rush of pleasure curled inside her stomach. Careful, she warned herself. She could not allow herself to mistake Kevin’s concern over the baby for caring about her. She’d have to cultivate those emotions every chance she got, while somehow protecting herself from more pain.

The physician nodded. “Admirable. Too many couples let an unexpected pregnancy drive them apart. But you two seem levelheaded and secure in your relationship now.” She was obviously referring to their first run-in at the clinic—one Nikki would prefer to forget. “I’m glad,” the doctor said.

Kevin squeezed her hand. A overt show of support certainly. An agreement with the doctor? Possibly. Their night together earlier in the week had reinforced the truth: Kevin wasn’t ready to consider a relationship between them.

“So what’s the verdict?” he asked.

Dr. Molloy glanced down at the paperwork on her cluttered desk. “The exam was fine, no problems for the last two weeks. You’re ending your first trimester. I don’t see any reason why you can’t get back on your feet as long as you take care of yourself. Frequent rests and don’t overdo it. No waitressing,” she said pointedly.

“I think Nicole and I have already reached an understanding there.”

Nikki ignored his attempt at asserting control. “I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the pregnancy,” she assured the doctor, whom she’d come to trust.

With a smile, Dr. Molloy closed the manila folder she’d scribbled her notes into. “Any other questions?”

“What’s the policy on…” Kevin cleared his throat. “What I meant to say was, how would you feel about us…” Nikki looked at him, waiting to hear his question.

“You can resume sexual relations any time, no restrictions—except nothing too strenuous,” Dr. Molloy warned them.

The answer was so unexpected, Nikki nearly choked on her own saliva. She coughed and Kevin grabbed her arm. “Are you okay?”

She was fine—she hoped. In all her hopes for the future, she’d forced herself to forget the possibilities of making love with Kevin. But once the doctor put the notion out there, Nikki couldn’t help thinking. About how solid and secure she’d felt in his arms or about the waves of pleasure he was capable of giving.

She wrapped her arms around her chest, as if the small gesture could ward off the sexual awakening. With difficulty, she turned and met his gaze. His cheekbones were flushed with color. At least he’d thrown himself into turmoil too. “Did you get the correct answer?” she asked.

“No, but I like the one I got,” he murmured, soft enough for only her to hear. His voice was a low growl and her insides turned to mush with a rush of desire.

“I’m sorry. Did I misinterpret the question?” Dr. Molloy asked.

Kevin shifted in his seat “Actually, yes. My concern was very different.”

Some kind of internal radar went off in Nikki’s brain. She couldn’t put her finger on the reason, but Kevin’s flat tone made her wary. So did his sudden shift in body language. Stiff posture, squared shoulders, and clenched jaw. Nikki was certain neither she nor the doctor would like what was to come.

Dr. Molloy clasped her hands and leaned forward in her seat. Did she sense an upcoming problem too? “What can I do for you, Mr. Manning?”

He leaned forward in his seat. “It’s not that I’m questioning your qualifications or abilities.”

“But?”

Nikki shut her eyes, now realizing where he was headed. “Kevin,” she said, clear warning in her tone. Her choice in doctors was a topic they could discuss in private.

The doctor waved her hand. “Let him speak. He’s entitled to his opinion.”

“However wrong it may be,” Nikki muttered.

“I haven’t voiced one yet,” he said. “Look, forgive me for any inherent bias, but we’re in a clinic in an area far from where Nikki now lives. As far as I can tell, she’s got a risky pregnancy.”

“Actually, she doesn’t. What Ms. Welles had is perfectly common among pregnant women. We restrict their activity as a precaution and to avoid miscarriage. Though there are schools of thought that say if a miscarriage was going to occur, bed rest couldn’t stop it.”

“Regardless, there’s another school of thought that adheres to the expression the best money can buy. It’s not that I question your abilities, but I wonder whether a private doctor would…”

“Charge a higher price that I can’t afford, for one thing.” Nikki rose from her seat and turned to face him. “Are you nuts? I thought we agreed to let me live my own life. And here you are, questioning my choices in front of my doctor. Gee, that shows a lot of faith.”