Solitary Man(4)
Author: Carly Phillips

She exhaled, watching the puff of air hover and disappear. With the chill in the air, she found it hard to believe spring was on the way. She bowed her head down and walked to the corner, her hand wrapped around the pepper spray she kept in her coat pocket as a precaution. The streets were quiet, but the guys at work had taught her never to take safety for granted. From the beginning they’d looked on her as their naive kid sister, which, for the most part, she had been. They’d taught her how to flirt when appropriate, duck a come-on when necessary, and how to take care of herself.

As she reached the corner, someone grabbed her arm and she swung around, pepper spray in her other hand. As quickly as she’d turned, she found herself disarmed and pulled against a lean, hard body, her face pressed against cold leather. Heart pounding, throat dry, she grappled for a way out and remembered the night’s tips tucked safely inside her boots. She wondered if her attacker would be satisfied with that or if he wanted something more. Something she wouldn’t willingly give.

Before she could process that thought, he released her. She stumbled backward and looked up to see Kevin, pepper spray in hand and a dark scowl on his face.

She drew in a ragged breath. The cold air did nothing to calm her nerves or her shaking hands. Even as she glared at him, she couldn’t help the awareness that shot through her veins. He hadn’t changed. He oozed sex appeal and raw danger. With his dark hair, razor stubble and black leather jacket, he was a part of the streets and the black night that stretched out before them. He was a loner, belonging on his own, much more than he’d ever belong to anyone else. She’d been foolish to hope he’d ever be hers.

“I didn’t believe those rumors until I saw you in the bar,” she said when she’d caught her breath. “You have resurfaced.”

TWO

Kevin didn’t smile. In fact, his eyes darkened until they matched the color of the night sky. “And you don’t look too pleased that I have.”

“What do you expect? You scared me half to death. What’s wrong with you, sneaking up on me like that?” Nikki rubbed her arm where he’d grabbed her, more from a sense of shock than anything else. He hadn’t hurt her, not physically anyway.

“Join the club, princess. Just watching you tonight scared the hell out of me.”

Her heart skipped a beat at the endearment he so casually tossed her way. He’d always called her princess, from the first moment they’d met. He’d called her princess that night too, when he’d thrust inside her and realized she was a virgin. She should have told him, but she’d been too afraid he’d turn her away if she had. The risk was too great. She’d needed the comfort as much as she’d needed him.

He’d kissed away her tears and reached past her childish fantasies to what she’d foolishly believed was reality. In so doing, he’d touched her heart… and trampled on it the following day. Never again, she reminded herself and breathed deeply, allowing the cold air to clear her mind. Even the nausea seemed to fade, courtesy of the fresh air.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

“Excuse me?” She blinked at his harsh tone of voice.

“What have you done with your life? Giving up teaching to work in a place like that.” He gestured toward the bar down the street. “Letting strange men paw you,” he continued without missing a beat. “Walking the streets alone in the dead of night, dressing like a… like a…” He shook his head and trailed off, obviously losing steam.

“Don’t stop now,” she murmured. “Not when you’re just getting interesting. Dressing like a…. what?” she prompted.

“Forget it. Just tell me what the hell’s going on.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” She blinked twice, feigning ignorance, buying time. Student teachers didn’t earn money and she’d been forced to give up her scholarship because she couldn’t afford housing on campus or otherwise. Her life had changed so fast she could hardly believe it herself.

Explaining would take more energy than she possessed and she refused to bare her soul to a man who didn’t care. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you,” she said, turning the brunt of her true feelings on him. There was a time when she’d have told him anything, but not anymore. She spun on her heels, intending to walk away.

He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. No force, no strength to his grip, just a touch… and she turned back toward him. “Tony wouldn’t approve,” he said softly.

“Tony’s not here,” she reminded him, forcing the words past the catch in her throat. He muttered a harsh curse. She glanced up, hating the tears in her eyes, hating that he’d see her weakness. When she was weak she was at her most vulnerable, and she’d worked too hard to be strong.

“But I am.” He touched her cheek with one hand, with a single stroke of his calloused finger. The warmth shot straight through her, settling in her chest, perilously close to her heart.

Nikki fought the feeling and let his words register instead. Then she looked at him and laughed. She couldn’t help it, couldn’t control her reaction to what he’d just said because she’d come to him once before. She’d leaned on him, opened her heart, and relied on him to be there for her afterward. He hadn’t been. Instead he’d taken off and left her alone.

As if she’d slapped him, he jerked his hand away from her face. The cold wind blew across her cheek and the chill went much deeper than her skin. She wrapped her arms around herself but she didn’t feel warmer. Being alone hurt, she admitted to herself, but better being alone than rejected again. No matter how much she needed someone, she wouldn’t turn to Kevin. She didn’t trust him to be there when she fell.

“I don’t need you,” she told him. The nausea she’d suffered from earlier returned in force, but she fought against the wave that assaulted her. A few more minutes and she’d be on her own, and she could collapse in private. “Tony would have respected any well-thought-out decision and I’ve made mine. You’ll have to accept it even if you don’t understand.”

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “We’ll see about that.”

“It isn’t your place to see or not,” She took two steps and her knees buckled.

Kevin saved her from falling by wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. “Apparently it is. You’re overworked, exhausted and…”