Stone Cold Touch (The Dark Elements #2)(27)
Author: J. Lynn

I’d have to be stupid to not know, especially after all of this, but… “I don’t get it.”

“Maybe it’s not right. What do I know? When Father brought you home all those years ago, he told me it was my job to watch over you, that I’d be the closest thing to family—to a brother—that you would ever have. And I took that seriously. Ever since I was twelve years old.” His dark blond lashes lowered, and I thought of Mr. Snotty. Emotion exploded in my chest and climbed up my throat. “I know I was never supposed to think of you any other way, but you got older and the past year or so?”

My hands curled around his shoulders, digging in through his shirt. Blood rushed in my ears.

“I’d find myself unable to stop staring at you, and it was hard not wanting to spend time with you. Why else did I always get up so early?” He laughed softly as the hollows of his cheeks flushed. “And when Father started bringing Danika around, I knew…”

“Knew what?” I whispered.

“I knew I couldn’t be with her. Not when you’re constantly in my head. Is it wrong?” His intense gaze swept up again, meeting mine. “No. Screw that—screw all of that. It’s right. It’s always been right.”

My throat hurt when I spoke. “You can’t—”

“Can’t what, Layla-bug? Can’t think about you? Can’t tell you that you have always been the most amazing girl I’ve ever known? Can’t stop living under the same roof with you and pretending that what I feel for you—what I want from you—is something brotherly?” As my breath caught, his hands slid up to my rib cage, leaving behind a wake of shivers. “That I can’t hold you? Touch you? Because the last time I checked, I could do all those things.”

“Zayne…”

“And I know it’s what you’ve wanted. I’ve known for a long time.” His thumbs moved in idle circles as he spoke. “Or has that changed because of him?”

This had nothing to do with him. To have waited years, to suffer through all my girlish fantasies involving Zayne and think it was utterly hopeless, to now hear these almost sacred words, I didn’t know what to do with them. My heart was expanding in my chest to the point I surely thought it would burst, but there was a rising anxiety that whispered of confusion and fear.

“Why now?” The question slipped out of me.

“Is ‘now is when I finally pulled my head out of my ass’ the wrong answer? I guess it probably isn’t good enough, huh?” He dipped his head to my shoulder, resting his forehead there as his fingers curled around the back of the borrowed shirt, and my breath caught again. “I almost lost you that night Paimon captured you. When I realized you could’ve died?” He shuddered. “That I could’ve died? I didn’t want to deny this any longer. I couldn’t.”

I stared at his bowed head as I slowly brought my hands up. Was that it? Or was it more? Was it because of Roth and the fact that Zayne just didn’t want me with him? Or was it because he now knew I could shift, which made me suitable in some way? Closing my eyes, I ignored the odd knot of unease. He wasn’t like that and had never believed something was faulty with me. I gingerly touched the ends of his hair, and a sigh rattled through him. Zayne wouldn’t lie to me.

The silky soft strands of his hair slipped through my fingers as I wondered if he could feel my heart cracking. Tears pricked at my eyes, wetting my lashes, and I squeezed my eyes shut. It was almost easier months ago, when the idea of Zayne harboring any feelings for me was nothing more than a fairy tale, than hearing this and not being able to act upon it.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, voice thick. “It’s impossible.”

Zayne drew back, lifting his head. “How so?”

“We can’t… I mean, we couldn’t…” My cheeks flushed, and I ducked my chin.

“We can’t?” His deep, shockingly sexy chuckle rumbled through me. “I think Saturday night proved there’s a lot we can do.”

Heat flowed through me, a mixture of embarrassment and fire that had sparked to life at the reminder of what we’d done. “But it’s too dangerous.”

“I trust you.”

Those three words sounded so simple, but they were confounding. “You shouldn’t. Not like that—not with your life.”

He frowned. “You’ve never given yourself enough credit or believed in yourself enough. As long as I’ve known you, I’ve never felt threatened by what you can do.”

The tears that rushed to my eyes threatened to spill forth, and I was seconds from crying as if I’d watched a marathon of Hallmark movies.

“You’re not evil, Layla. You never have been.” His smile was tremendous, snaking its way through my heart. “And I believe that if I kissed you right now, you wouldn’t take my soul.”

I gasped as I started to lean back. “Don’t you dare try it! I can’t—”

“Relax,” he chuckled.

My muscles were tense. How could I relax after his saying something like that? As much as I cared for and cherished him, I’d wither up and die inside if I was the cause of his demise. The very thought of that made me want to move to another zip code.

Zayne lifted a hand, running his fingers through the ends of my hair as his gaze tracked over my features. He tilted his head and before I could figure out what he was doing, he pressed his lips to my neck, against my wildly beating pulse.

My senses became hyperaware as his firm lips traced a hot, tiny path to the sensitive spot beneath my ear. My brain whirled as everything registered. I felt his hair tickling me under my chin, the softness of his lips and the tiny flick of his tongue, as if he were tasting my skin. I recognized the sudden tension in my body, the liquid heat and the force of the emotion swelling in my chest. But there was more, there was that foreign quality again. When he curved his hand around the nape of my neck, under my hair, it only grew stronger. There was a masculine edge to it.

As understanding seeped in, I placed my hands on his face. He lifted his questioning gaze. I couldn’t figure out how, but I knew deep in my bones what was happening.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, trailing my fingers over his face. “I get it.”

His brows rose.

“I can feel you. I can feel your emotions.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

That was obviously not what Zayne was expecting me to say. He stared at me with those luminous blue eyes, confusion playing across his handsome features.

Feeling his emotions sounded crazy, but it made sense.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

I pulled my hands back, curling my fingers back into my palms, and almost immediately, that virile need faded away. “I can feel what you’re feeling,” I repeated, stunned by the realization. “I don’t understand how and this isn’t the first time, but I just didn’t recognize what I was feeling before.”

He leaned back against the couch. “You’re going to have to give me more details.”

“Every time someone has touched me—skin on skin—I get these faint traces of emotion that don’t belong to me.” I thought of Stacey and when she’d touched me while she’d been talking to me about Sam. I’d felt hope—hope that hadn’t belonged to me. Then again with Roth, with Zayne, and even when I’d walked down the street and bumped into people the night I’d been trying to see auras… My eyes widened. “It started when I stopped seeing auras! Like pretty much immediately afterward. Holy crap.”

“Damn,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “So, you could feel what I was feeling when I was touching you?”

“Faintly. Like a rush of emotions. Nothing too strong.”

His lips tipped up in a small smile. “Well, I’m glad, then. Because if you’d been feeling everything I’ve felt when we’ve touched? That would get really embarrassing considering all the feels I had going on.”

I laughed even though my cheeks burned. “Yeah, I guess that would be awkward.”

“Kind of.” He swallowed, and then placed his hand on my cheek. “What do you feel now?”

“I don’t know.” It was hard, trying to decipher between my own jumbled emotions and what could possibly be coming from him, but there was one that I thought might be his. A constant thread that wove its way around my trepidation. “Happy?” I whispered, curling my fingers around his wrist. The warmth increased, like basking in the summer sun. “Happiness.”

His smile spread, reaching his eyes. “Yeah, that’s about right.”

I tried to make sense of how losing my talent for seeing souls had somehow triggered the ability to feel others’ emotions. I dropped my hand and started to move off his lap, but his hands moved to my hips, securing me in my place. I raised a brow at him.

Zayne’s grin oozed boyish charm. “What?”

“You know what.”

One shoulder rose in a shrug. “Focus on the important stuff here. The whole emotion thing. We know that a succubus or incubus feeds off emotions, right? And Lilith was considered a succubus in some texts. Maybe it’s an ability that you’ve always had that’s just coming out.”

In other words, a demonic ability. “You know, why can’t some Warden abilities start manifesting?”

“Does it matter?” He tapped his fingers against my hips.

“It should. To you.”

That grin slipped into a frown. “It doesn’t. Feeling someone else’s emotions isn’t evil. Probably would come in quite handy.”

I supposed, but it was just another thing that made me so different from Zayne and uncomfortable in my own skin. A thought occurred as my body relaxed and I folded my hands between us. “Do you think the Lilin can feel emotions and see souls?”

“I don’t know.”

I didn’t even know why I wondered. Maybe it was because I wanted to know how similar my own DNA was to this creature’s.

Zayne shifted and I slid forward an inch. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“You do?”

He nodded. “You’re thinking about that coven and when you can find out more about the Lilin.”

As usual, he was pretty spot-on. “Well, my reasons are purely selfish. The more we know about the Lilin, the quicker we can find it.”

“And the crone won’t be at this club until a full moon?” he asked after a few moments. “That’s still a few weeks away—December the sixth, I think.”

I nodded absently. Demons, gargoyles, witches and their full moons…. “So, you’re okay with me going?”

“Not really, but I figure you’ll find a way to go anyway and I’d rather be supportive of it than be in the dark.” Tipping his head back against the couch cushion, he watched me from behind lowered lashes. “And I’m assuming Roth is thrilled about the prospect of going to this club with you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

“I get that the witches don’t want me there, especially those kind of witches, but I’m going to go with you that night—at least as far as I can go,” he continued. “And, as much as it kills me to say this, going in there with Roth is a good idea.”

“What?” Surprised, I stared at him. “Did you really just say that?”

“I’d like to peel Roth’s skin from his bones in a very slow manner. You know, like with an orange peeler.”

My nose scrunched up. “Ew.”

He flashed a quick grin. “But for the most part, you’re safe around him.”

I continued to stare at him. “For the most part?”

“He’ll protect you. Better than he did today.” The reluctance in his voice was glaring. “You’re just not safe from him.”

“No matter what he wants or what you think he wants, I’m safe from him. Trust me. He made it plain and clear that there was nothing between us except…”

“Lust?”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“Asshole.”

I coughed out a small laugh. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, and after everything he’d confessed, I thought the apology was possibly the strangest thing ever from him, but that goodness was so inherently Zayne.

Circling his arms around me, he gathered me close, tucking me to his chest. I curled into him, closing my eyes and listening to his heart beat steadily against my cheek. With his arms folded around me, I found the kind of comfort that I could only find in his arms—that I’d always found in his embrace.

A shaky breath shuddered through me. There was a lot going on and a lot had happened in the span of a few weeks, but in those quiet moments, my mind drifted back to all those wonderful, beautiful things that I had only dreamed of Zayne saying to me, but that were now very much a reality. There were more important things I should be trying to figure out, but right now, this was the most important thing to me.