Summer Lovin’ (Costas Sisters #2)(62)
Author: Carly Phillips

She sensed the seriousness in his question and settled herself beside him on the big desk. "That’s probably the easiest answer I can give. I realized I was faced with losing you forever and that scared me a hell of a lot more than overcoming my fears."

"What are you saying?"

Although they sat side by side and though they were more relaxed with each other than before, something very important was missing and Zoe knew that move was also up to her.

Reaching out, she placed her hand over his, making that connection for the first time today. "I love you, Ryan."

"Zoe— "

She placed a finger over his lips to silence him and felt the electric zing straight down to her toes. "I’m not finished yet." And she wasn’t, since words of love weren’t nearly enough to make up for not returning those words after he’d uttered them, and for leaving him in the first place.

She licked her lips, dry from nervousness. "I love you, but that’s not all. And after all you’ve said and done, it’s certainly not enough, I know."

His gaze met and held hers.

"I want to be with you and I’m willing to move to Boston to make that happen, assuming you want the same thing, that is. You see? I’ve learned my lessons well and I’m willing to compromise." She laughed nervously, and was perilously close to passing out on the spot.

"You are, huh?"

She swallowed hard and waited, but he remained silent for too long. "It won’t work, will it?" she finally asked.

He shook his head. "I can’t see that it will."

Again silence surrounded them.

The pit in her stomach grew wider, her disappointment profound. "I guess I can understand, considering how I jerked you around. You said you loved me and I didn’t say anything back, and whether it’s an ego thing or you just can’t trust in what I say or feel, I get why it won’t work anymore."

Zoe knew she was rambling, but she didn’t think she could stand the pain that would fill her once she allowed herself to think.

"I really don’t think you understand." He spoke in a gentle, compassionate voice and she hated that he was trying to let her down easy.

She stepped backward. "I need to be going." Pivoting, she started toward the door, unable to leave her hurt and mortification behind fast enough.

"Wait."

She turned in time to see him jump off the desk and dart around her, blocking her exit.

"If you’re leaving, you really don’t understand and I need to explain," he said with what sounded like panic in his tone.

Confusion along with anticipation took hold inside her. "You’re damn right I don’t understand."

"But you will." His expression softened before her eyes. "I’m trying to say that it won’t work because you can’t be in Boston if I’m going to move to Ocean Isle."

She blinked and shook her head, certain she’d heard him wrong. "You’re going to what?" she asked.

He grasped her hand and pulled her toward a chair. She willingly let him lead her. Once she was seated, he knelt beside her. "I’m going to move to Ocean Isle."

Her head spun and she was glad she wasn’t standing. "Ryan," she said, completely overwhelmed.

"You need to know a few things. First, I was planning to drive down and see your parents this weekend."

She tipped her head to one side. "Why?"

His bigger hand covered hers. "Because I needed them to know I’m not going to take Sam away and I wanted to tell them in person."

She opened her mouth then closed it again. "I’m…I’m floored. Confused. What’s going on?"

He didn’t respond immediately and she sensed him searching for a way to explain.

"Even though my parents have come a long way and are willing to work hard at being a different kind of family, in my heart I believe Sam’s best interest and ultimate happiness lie with your family. Not mine."

His heartfelt words along with the magnitude of the gesture reached out to Zoe. The man already owned her heart, but now he had the key to it, as well.

Still, knowing how Ryan felt about his sister, about Sam, and about blood ties, she couldn’t let him make such a huge sacrifice and she shook her head hard. "No. You should— "

"Be her uncle. My parents should be her grandparents. We’ll all be a part of her life, but she deserves a real family that understands her." His smile grew wider as he said, "Your parents provide everything she needs much better than we ever could."

"I don’t know what to say except thank you." A tear rolled down Zoe’s face and she wiped the moisture away with the back of her hand. "You’re an incredible man, Ryan Baldwin."

Amazingly, he flushed.

She realized that they were still unresolved and she pushed on with a question. "So you were going to move to Jersey to be closer to Sam?"

"No. I was going to talk to your parents and work out a schedule for weekends and holiday visits." He inhaled deeply. "And then you showed up here first, saying everything I dreamed about, but never thought I’d hear." His voice was gruff and deep.

Zoe glanced down, ashamed of the pain she’d caused him while she’d searched her own heart and soul. "I wish I could have come around sooner."

"Then you wouldn’t be you." He nudged her chin up with his hand and looked into her eyes. "And I love you, too," he said.

Warmth filled her heart replacing most of the fear that had lodged in her chest. "Are you sure I didn’t wait too long?" she asked him, still uncertain.

Ryan shook his head. He’d probably have waited forever for her, but thank God it hadn’t come to that. "All I wanted to hear was that you loved me. Offering to uproot your life for me was an added bonus."

She’d provided him with the proof he hadn’t realized he needed. Proof that Zoe had come to terms with her fear of losing herself in their intense relationship— which he intended to turn into an intense marriage as soon as humanly possible.

"You deserve someone who’s willing to compromise as much as you already have. I can do that for you now. I can do that for us." She smiled the sexy smile he adored.

"Compromise is nice, but you don’t have to. Since Sam’s already going to live in New Jersey, don’t you think it makes more sense for us to live there?"

"What about your law firm?"

He shrugged. Although he couldn’t say he’d thoroughly thought this move through, he was able to improvise based on certain helpful facts. "I can already practice in New York since I’m licensed there. And if it makes sense, I can always take the New Jersey bar exam."