Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? (Accidentally Yours #3)(53)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Complicated? His feelings are…complicated? My brain was stuck in the mud, my wheels spinning without traction. Complicated! Complicated? “So it’s about protecting me. That’s all?”

Silence.

“Fine,” I whispered, fending off the hurt. “I’ll think about it. If I go on another Maaskab mission, at least immortality ups my chances of surviving.”

“What?” he screamed. “You went on a mission?”

I stared at his immobile face, but it felt silly to berate a comatose body, so I looked at my boots again. “Yes! I did!”

“He let you go. Didn’t he? I’ll kill him! Guy has crossed the line! And you! Foolish woman! What in the name of the gods were you thinking?”

“Hold on a second, your holiness!” Gods I felt silly yelling at him while he was inside me. “I’m a grown woman, and if I want to risk my neck for my mother or the man I love, then that’s my choice! Mine!”

“Did you say you…love me?”

“I…well, yes. I guess I did! And, clearly, I’m crazy! Cause you’re the last man—deity—bodiless being…Oh! Crappity-crap! Whatever!” I huffed. “Dude. You’re the last dude on earth I should love.”

Silence.

“Hello?”

Silence.

“Fine! I’m taking a shower and then a long, long nap. So…just stay that way! Not a peep, Minotaur!”

I stomped to the bathroom and turned on the shower. It was a large stall with beautiful natural stone tiles and several massage heads on each wall. I grumbled as I stripped off my clothes and stepped in. The first few seconds felt wonderful, but then the pang of rejection hit hard. For a brief moment, I considered crying, but that was not the answer.

You’re done crying. New chapter.

So now what? He didn’t love me back. I could deal. Maybe. Okay. It hurt.

Ouch, ouch, ouch…

***

“I’m sorry,” he finally said twenty minutes into my shower. “I assume you went on the mission to find your mother and the answer to what happened to me.”

“Yes.”

“I cannot recall anyone ever risking a life for me. Thank you.”

I stood there nude with a bar of soap in my hands, hanging on every word.

“But why should I be surprised? Your bravery is what I admire most about you, Penelope. Nothing seems to faze you. Not even my harsh treatment. You”—he paused for several moments—“humble me at every turn. And if I were another man…or were a man, I would want you for my own. But you must trust in me, Penelope. You must believe that there is nothing more important right now than my duties. Not even you can afford my distraction.”

Frankly, I wasn’t able to “trust” him on this because I thoroughly believed he was messed in the head on this relationship topic. Sure, there were other things going on—important things such as an impending apocalypse, him being trapped inside my body, yadda yadda—but I knew we’d be stronger together. How did I know that, but he didn’t?

“So, let’s pretend for a moment that your duty wasn’t a concern. Then what?”

“Then I would tell you that none of the gods are capable of making a human heart content, that we are unable to give a relationship what it needs to thrive.”

“Which is?”

“Commitment and dedication. Or a normal life full of daily routines and the observance of unspoken rules humans demand from one another. Understand, a god’s life is not dictated by social norms. We are not expected to call if we’ll be late for dinner—we do not eat—or bring flowers because the calendar says it is a particular day in the month of February. Our lives are driven by duty and the fact that time is abundant. We go where we are needed, when we are needed, for as long as we must. I can pass decades in my realm before returning to your world, yet, to me, it is only a moment in time.”

“I get the point. Our worlds are different. But I still haven’t heard any showstoppers—these are all things a god could work through.”

“Why would I want this? When at the very best, the outcome would be a relationship still considered dysfunctional. By your human definition, I am a male who, on a good day, would be defined as heartless, selfish, stubborn, arrogant, and inconsiderate.”

“When you put it that way, you do sound like quite the catch.”

“Penelope, I would destroy you. My existence is far too cold a place to share with anyone. I am far too cold.”

Cold? This was not a word I would use to describe this being who secretly spent his time and money helping needy children or trying to rescue stubborn-as-a-mule humans—that’s me—or…who kissed with so much passion and vigor that I only needed one taste to become permanently addicted. No one in this world had more passion than Kinich.

No one.

So what it all really boiled down to was that he didn’t believe he could make me happy.

But I had complete faith it would all work out if we were meant to be together.

So were we? My heart and body said yes. And I believed his did, too. The intensity between us was…epic.

Now I just needed him to realize it.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” I asked.

“You’ll have to be more specific.”

Could I say it? Could I?

Yes.

“That your last wish before the Maaskab showed up was to be inside me?”

I heard a low groan. “I can think of nothing else.”

Me neither. I was obsessed. “Because you should know, I dream about you all the time, Kinich. Of how you taste. Of our bodies molding together. I don’t know what really happened that night between us, but my body is addicted to you.”

Erotic warmth swirled and pooled around my ni**les and deep inside my core.

“I feel you. I feel your body firing up. It is the most erotic sensation I’ve ever encountered.” He groaned once again.

If he could feel my body’s sensations, then could its reaction make him realize how potent we were together? Or how full of fire his heart truly was? “It’s for you. You do this to me. I just think about you and this is what happens.”

“Touch yourself,” he unexpectedly commanded. “I want to feel you come.”

“What? No.” I couldn’t.

“Do it.” His voice had transformed from man to god. The kind who expected to be obeyed.

I shuddered, realizing I suddenly wanted to do what he was asking.