Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? (Accidentally Yours #3)(6)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Outside. Nude. Sweating.

I kicked off the blankets. Boy it’s hot in here.

Why couldn’t I purge him from my brain? Maybe I didn’t want to. What I really wanted was to see him again. In my bed. In the shower. Ironing na**d in my living room. Folding my undies—the pretty ones I reserved for special occasions, of course.

I sighed deeply and rolled over for the fiftieth time.

I hadn’t had a case of lust this bad since Jimmy Roberts in the 4th grade. He had the coolest BMX bike—Ninja Turtles motif with flag, bell, the works. Jimmy also resembled the blond guy from Saved by the Bell. I followed him around at recess, offered him my cherry Capri Sun every lunch, and had his name written twenty times inside my Care Bears notebook. Oh yeah, I’d had it bad.

But this…this thing with Cimil’s brother was far worse. I could practically feel my eggs shaving their legs and painting their toenails—hooker red—in preparation to meet him.

Ugh. Stop it. You don’t even know the man. And Cimil…double ugh! Anyone with a sister that twisted has to be bad news. She screamed “dysfunctional family.”

I glimpsed at the glowing green numbers of my clock on the nightstand and sighed. In only twenty minutes, it would shriek.

I rolled onto my other side and continued the mental Ping-Pong match. See him again? Not see him again. See him. Not see him.

I have to.

No. If you go back there, you’d be deceiving the poor guy. You’d never have a baby with a stranger. And there’s nothing he or his sister could ever say to change your mind.

I bet he could say something. Something like, “I will make steamy, steamy love to you with my hard-as-steel, muscled body all night long if you agree to have my baby.”

I swallowed. Yeah, that actually might do it.

Really, Pen? I countered myself. Come on. Don’t be ridiculous.

Bringing a child into the world was a serious matter, and giving it up to strangers was in another league altogether. Not that I knew from personal experience, but anyone who had a heart could figure that one out.

I suddenly felt a warm, gentle hand on my back.

“Oh,” I said, “you’re up…” But it wasn’t my mother coming to see if I’d woken up yet. It was…

Shit! Cimil’s brother.

I sat up so fast I almost head butted him. “Christ! What are you doing here?”

It was still dark outside, but since I’d left my curtains partially open, my room glowed with a faint silver hue from the streetlamps outside.

He reached out and swept the hair from my forehead. “That doesn’t matter. But it is important you listen to me.” His deep voice washed over me like a calming tropical wave.

I was about to say something. It was…

I’d already forgotten.

His hand cupped my cheek, and when he stared into my eyes, the expression on his divinely handsome face was unreadable. Warmth. Suspicion. Acceptance and determination.

Me sooo confused. I sighed inwardly while my mind floated in a pool of dopey bliss.

“Penelope, please focus,” he said affectionately.

I nodded dumbly. “Okay,” I whispered.

Why can’t I think straight?

“Good,” he said. “Because you’re not thinking this through properly. Not everything in life is a question of absolutes, love.”

He called me “love.” I liked the sound of that.

“Not an absolute?” I asked.

He traced his finger along my jaw. “No. This is why you must keep an open mind. This is why you must come to see me.”

“See you. Uh-huh,” I responded, my mind feeling rich with a hormone-induced fog.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. A soul-shattering surge of elation rocketed through my body. I wanted him with every cell in my body, every molecule of oxygen in my blood, and every beat of my heart. I never wanted to be without him, his touch, or the sweet, rich, exotic scent of him that filled my lungs.

“Ah. Now you’re catching on.” He made a deep hearty chuckle.

The screech of my alarm clock pierced my ears and jolted me to life like a defibrillator. I blinked and found myself face up on the floor next to my bed.

I clenched my fist over my chest as the adrenaline fueled my palpitating heart. “Son of a beach ball,” I said in a breathy voice. “What the hell was that?”

Oh great. Now I’m talking like that crazy lady.

“Are you all right, Penelope?”

The thin silhouette of my mom in her pajamas appeared in the doorway.

“Must’ve fallen out of bed,” I replied.

She flipped on the light, causing me to wince.

“Oh, Penelope,” she sighed. “You look like you haven’t slept in days. I told you, no more double shifts.”

I smiled. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

She didn’t laugh at that.

“Sorry.” I rolled over and crawled back into bed, flopping facedown. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“You know, baby,”—the bed sank when she deposited herself next to me—“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about all this. About me.”

I flipped onto my back.

My mom’s frizzy blond braid and bloodshot hazel eyes broadcasted her exhaustion, and her posture—sagging shoulders and head hung low—reeked of surrender.

Well, maybe she’d given up. But I hadn’t. Not yet.

“Penelope, I can’t keep letting you sacrifice your life for me. I’m your mother. I’m supposed to take care of you. Not the other way around, sweetie.”

I mumbled a few angry words and got up to collect my clothes for the day. I knew what speech was coming next: her back-up plan. I’d heard it fifty times, and I’d rejected it fifty different ways. She had a cousin, a holistic healer in California, who’d offered to take her in and treat her. Although the probability of success would be extremely low, it was fine by me. But she didn’t want me to go with her, and that was ridiculous. She insisted I stay in New York and move on with my life: apply for financial aid, finish school, get a boyfriend…live. What she really meant was she planned to wither away, out of sight from me.

I stared at her face. Despite the hollow cheeks and dark shadows under her eyes, she still held a youthful appearance with barely a wrinkle. In perfect health she could pass for my sister. She was beautiful and strong and I loved her with all my heart, which is why I blurted out, “I got the money. A private grant.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “But, how?”