Sweet Fall

I was just so damn proud of the kid… Mamma would be proud of the man he’d become too.

“We ready to go?” Levi asked nervously, and Lexi broke from my hand and moved to give him a hug. Levi wrapped his gangly arms tight around her back. I noticed her subtle flinch, but it was Levi and he adored her. She’d become a mamma of sorts to him, making sure he wasn’t ever missing out on having a parental figure in his life.

Pix had a heart of gold.

“You gonna be all right, okay, sweetie. We’re here for you,” Lexi said as she pulled back and rubbed at Levi’s arms.

“I know, Lex. Just gonna be weird, you know?” Levi shrugged and, moving forward, I took him in my arms, pulling back only to place my hands on his cheeks. “Andrà tutto bene, fratellino mio. Te lo guiro.”

Everything will be fine, little brother. I swear it.

Lexi walked away to our master bedroom, giving us a private moment, and, minutes later, reappeared clutching the small golden urn protectively in her arms.

Her small encouraging smile told me it was time.

Mamma told me growing up that the Ponte Vecchio was her most treasured place on Earth, the thirteenth century bridge that ran over the top of the Fiume Arno, the Arno River. It symbolized her home, Firenze, her roots, and she dreamed of showing us all its beauty one day.

She never got that chance.

When Mamma died, spreading her ashes in Alabama never seemed right. This was her home; Italia was her soul, her heart. And it was about time she made her permanent return.

Lexi, Levi, and I walked slowly along the length of the Ponte Vecchio, Lexi’s hands in each of ours, our rock in this most intense time.

The iconic tourist attraction was strangely deserted on this wintery but sunny day. It was like God knew what we were about to do and wanted to pay His respects, giving us some privacy to say our final good-byes to His daughter.

We passed the row of little houses that were placed along the old bridge, and I wondered which one belonged to Mamma’s family. Her nonna lived in one of the historic tiny houses until her death years ago, and Mamma said there was no prettier place to grow up.

I looked upon the tiny houses, the bridge, with wonder, and I imagined my mamma running along here as a child, playing with her friends, singing for the locals in her perfect soprano pitch, her dancer limbs spread out to lap up the breeze.

The thought gave me peace.

As we reached the center point of the bridge, I leaned over the old stone wall and looked down upon the running flow of water below. I felt Lexi’s hand lay flat to my back.

It was time.

Standing back up straight, I looked to Levi and hooked my arm around his neck. Levi’s eyes met mine. Water was swelling in his eyes, but like a champ, my little bro kept it together.

Unhooking my arm from around Levi, I held the small urn in two hands, barely noticing the people from the surrounding houses coming out to watch us say our farewell.

Moving closer to the wall, I looked out over the medieval city and felt a sense of peace wash through me. This city was a part of me through Mamma. Il Duomo di Firenze, Palazzo Medici Riccardi, all of it. I had more than Bama blood running through my veins, and I was proud to belong to the green, white, and red too.

“Baby?” Lexi whispered and laid her head on my shoulder. “Would you like to say a few words? You know, to mark the occasion?”

Gripping the urn tighter in my hand, I couldn’t take my eyes off the gilded gold reflecting in the sun. Turning my head to the side, I pressed a kiss on my fiancée’s head, breathing in her sweet scent and using it to gather strength.

Taking a deep breath, I stared down at the urn, my knuckles white around it, and spoke straight from my heart.

“Mamma, I knew this day was coming soon. For a year I’ve planned this, worked hard to make you proud…” I looked over to Levi, who had reached his arm around my back and was clutching Lexi’s hand so tightly in his own, and met his eyes. “And so has Lev.”

My throat clogged, but clearing it with a cough, I managed to keep on going. “A lot has happened since you left us, Mamma. I’ve made your dream come true and am now a San Francisco 49er. And I’m good, Mamma. Real good. We made it to the Superbowl this year but lost to the Seahawks. To Rome, Mamma. You would’ve loved to have seen us both play.”

I let out a small laugh at the memory, Rome tapping me on the back and telling me, “Next year.”

“Lev’s in a good school and is sticking in, working hard, and Axe—”

My hands began shaking as I thought about Axel. He was still inside, having served one year of his ten-year sentence for distribution of class-A drugs. I visited him when I could and made him a promise—when he’s out, he’s moving out with us.