Sweet Fall

Placing a kiss on Levi’s head, I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes. No words needed to be said. He knew I was proud of him.

Taking the golden urn, I unscrewed the lid, and as a unit, we all moved to the edge of the wall to finally set her free.

Looking to Lexi, I said, “Ti amo tantissimo.”

She laid a kiss on my bare arm. “I love you too, baby.”

Glancing to Levi, I nodded my head, making sure he was ready. Mustering up some courage from deep within, my fifteen-year-old little brother nodded back in response. He was ready.

Another gust of wind drifted through the enclosed bridge, and I closed my eyes and sighed happily. I know you’re there, Mamma. I feel you with us.

Opening my eyes, I leaned forward and, on the count of three, let my mamma’s ashes fall into the river below.

As the urn emptied, I dropped it into the depths of the Arno and held my breath, watching as Chiara Carillo danced free in the breeze.

Exhaling softly, feeling the love of both Levi and Lexi beside me, I whispered, “Benvenuta a casa, Mamma. Benvenuta a casa.”

Welcome home, Mamma, welcome home.

Epilogue

Lexi

Honolulu, Hawaii

Two years later…

Dear Daisy,

Weight: N/A

Calories: N/A

Today is my wedding day.

Can you believe it?

Here in this tropical paradise, it’s my wedding day. And I wish more than anything that you could’ve been here, at my side, joining in the happiness.

I have come so far in the last couple of years. I have no fear, no trepidation as I sit here on the window seat, looking out onto the sandy white beach.

I feel strong, revived, but more importantly, I feel beautiful. I never thought that would ever be possible. But I do. I feel truly beautiful. I feel beautiful with Austin. I feel truly beautiful with him… within myself.

The voice is still with me. I know he will never leave. But today, all I hear is a peaceful silence from my mind and the wonderful soft lullaby of the birdsong drifting in from outside my room.

I’ve never had such peace.

My journey with you has been hard and long and, more than I’d like, full of grief. But today, surrounded by my closest friends and family, I feel joyful and happy that this is my life.

I now understand that unless you have traveled an uneasy road, you fail to appreciate what is truly important. For me, this is accepting myself, flaws and all. But it’s also love. Being completely, head over heels in love with the person who, despite it all, makes you feel like the most beautiful girl on Earth.

I know after today, I will never be alone with my fears. I know after today, my heart will be complete, joined eternally to the only man who has ever known how to love me in the way I needed to be loved.

He saved me. I saved him.

And he has made me the happiest woman alive.

I once vowed that I would never fall again. But today, I fall willingly.

I have fallen hopelessly in love with the Italian tattooed bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. And I fall into his protective, open arms with one hundred percent abandon.

Tonight officially marks the beginning of my beautiful new life.

My imperfectly perfect ever after.

And tonight, under the burnt-orange glow of the Hawaiian sunset, on the white powdered beach, and against the sounds of the rippling blue sea, I will cherish the sweetest, most beautiful fall…

With Austin Carillo, my home.

The End