Sweet Fall

Twenty minutes later, wrapped in a thin blanket and in front of an open fire, a messed-up boy and a messed-up girl fell asleep under the stars, holding each other in their arms… and for the first time in their turbulent lives, they felt fully exposed and completely understood.

Chapter Nineteen

Austin

The hypnotizing motion of Lexi’s warm breath against my neck almost had me falling back to sleep when I woke in the dawn, birds chirping outside the summerhouse walls, indicating morning had broken.

Squeezing my eyes shut to rid them of sleep, I instinctively rolled closer to Pix, and a chilly breeze cut under a gap in the thin blanket.

Turning my head behind me, I noticed the fire that had been roaring the night before had dwindled down to ash, and a light frost was creeping up the skylight’s glass, its heavy pattern almost like a kaleidoscope when the strong rays of the sun reflected off the pane.

As I followed the hazy pattern of a sunbeam, it led me straight to the contented face of Pix tucked into my side, and all I could do was stare.

She was f**kin’ gorgeous.

Her fresh face was free of makeup and her tiny arms were wrapped around my stomach, her pale skin stark against the dark tone of my tattooed abs. My arms weren’t wrapped around her in return, though. It was like even in sleep, my mind knew to respect her boundaries. Pix’s dress straps were firmly back in place, her chest no longer exposed, and my heart kind of sank when I realized she must have covered herself during the night. I hated that she thought so little of herself. That she had to be plagued with insecurities the first time we made love, the first time she ever made love. That she didn’t feel comfortable enough with me to bare her body completely.

A sudden sigh slipped from Pix’s lips, and I gripped her arms tighter with my hands, pulling her farther into my chest, just inhaling her sweet scent. I knew we couldn’t stay here all day. I had practice. Hell, so did she. The SEC Championship against the Florida Gators in Georgia was coming up soon, but I just wanted to hold her like this for a time longer, before we had to deal with the shit waiting outside that door.

But one thing was for sure: I felt changed. Different somehow… Worthy even.

“Austin?”

Lexi’s quiet voice made me glance down, and her sleepy eyes were fixed on mine. It didn’t take a damn detective to see the fear of rejection shining thorough them.

“Mornin’, Pix,” I said, smiling, and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Morning,” she replied and ran her cheek across my bare chest.

Casually running my finger down her arm, I asked, “How are you feeling?”

Lifting her head, a pink, shy blush had spread across her face. “I feel… so many things—happy, blessed, brave… even adored…”

Smiling wide, I caught her quick inhale of breath and, cupping her face, brought her lips to meet mine. When I had fully taken her mouth—possessively, obsessively—I murmured, “Good, Pix. That’s real f**kin’ good.”

Laying her head to my shoulder, she sighed. I knew it was because it was time for us to go. To leave this little stress-free void.

“You ready to get going?”

Lexi nodded and gradually sat up, stretching out her arms, her back facing me. Beneath the thin fabric of her dress, I could see her tiny silhouette, and my breathing immediately stopped, a huge rush of fear seizing the function of my muscles.

Ribs. A shit ton of Lexi’s ribs were on show, poking through her skin in an unhealthy-looking way, and her spine stuck out almost in an unrealistic protrusion.

As if feeling my worried stare, Lexi snapped her head around to face me and instantly jumped to her feet. I sat up in response, seeing her eyes grow huge with panic.

“Pix,” I whispered and dreaded the response to my next question. “You’re eating, aren’t you?” Clearing my throat, I added, “Like, you’re not starving yourself again? ’Cause you’re looking real thin. You always wear such loose clothes so I never noticed, but…”

The subtle signs of anxiety appeared on Lexi’s face: nostrils flaring as she panted in short breaths, lips twitching, and her chest rising in heavy motion.

“I’m fine,” Lexi snapped and covered herself with her arms. “I’m just stressed.”

I nodded my head cautiously and slowly stood to meet her face to face. I noticed her hands were shaking as I approached, and I reached out and took her face within my palms. She refused to look at me, eyes planted firmly toward the floor.

“Pix.”

Lexi shut her eyes tightly for a moment and then fixed her focus on me, waiting to hear what I had to say. I wanted to say a shit ton, but seeing the fear on her face that I was gonna call her out on her issues had me redirecting my thoughts.