Sweet Fall

“What the f**k, kid?” Axel shouted, and I turned in my seat to face him.

“What the f**k? I’m pissed; that’s what! You, you stupid motherfucker went on the drive-by last night to the Kings, didn’t you? You couldn’t just leave it alone! Even after everything…” I sucked in a long breath, trying to calm, and said, “You promised me! Told me you would stay with Mamma and Lev so I didn’t have to come back. You were meant to protect them!”

Axel’s eyes narrowed and his foot pressed harder on the gas pedal, lurching us forward until we were almost flying down the highway.

“I did protect them! But while you were f**kin’ your bitch, I had to take care of some urgent business, as usual!”

“Drive-bys ain’t urgent business, Axe!”

“They are if you get word the King’s are preparing to come down to the Heights to finish what they started.”

A pain ripped through my chest and I stilled. “Christ!” I shouted and turned to my brother. “Ever thought of what Mamma will go through if you die before her? She should be peaceful in her last few months, not stressed to all hell.”

“Kid, it was urgent business. You think the Kings wouldn’t have targeted our trailer? They want me and Lev dead. This war has to be won for all our sakes. Without that turf, the Heighters lose coin. Without that coin, Mamma don’t get her meds—”

Axel smacked his hand against the wheel and roared, “Why do I have to keep explaining this shit? You know the score, and you’re good with it when you’re not being a self-righteous pu**y!”

“Fuck you!” I replied, my fists clenched. Axel caught the movement and laughed without humor.

“Keep that rage, kid. You’re gonna feel a whole lot more in about twenty minutes.”

Unable to speak through the red haze in front of my eyes, I didn’t even bother asking what the hell he meant. So, sitting back in my seat, I stared out the window and watched the rest of the world go by, really wishing I was someone else.

“Get in there, superstar,” Axel said the minute we pulled up in front of our trailer.

A bunch of the Heighters were outside, sitting around in chairs, guns in their hands, and I felt like spitting at the whole lot of them.

Getting out of the truck, it didn’t take me long to enter the old trailer, and I immediately froze at the door. Towels dripping with blood were piled up in the sink. The strong smell of rubbing alcohol almost made me gag, and I quickly headed for Mamma’s room.

As soon as I entered her bedroom, Mamma’s eyes set on mine, but her head didn’t move. Couldn’t move.

Fuck, she looked terrible.

I roved my searching gaze all over her body, but there was no blood that I could see. Rushing to her side, I lifted her weak hand and almost recoiled at how weak she was. It’d only been a night since I’d seen her last, but it looked like it could have been months.

Is this what Axel brought me here for? To say good-bye?

“Mamma, stai bene?” I asked softly, feeling almost sick with nerves.

Her brown eyes were overflowing with tears and her breath was shallow, wheezing like a f**kin’ whistle in her chest.

“Mamma, talk to me,” I pushed, fighting back emotions.

Mamma closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. I watched her swallow, the simple action we all take for granted now as monumental a task as climbing up Mt. Everest.

Nodding my head, I encouraged her to try and speak. “They took him… last night… so hurt…”

Frowning, I tried to catch what she was saying through her breathy voice. But I was confused. She was speaking nonsense.

“Went wrong… I can’t… I can’t…” A tortured cry ripped from Mamma’s throat, and her body began jerking, but for her, more like twitching, as she tried to move off the bed. Only her fingers were moving. I could see the pain on her face, the strain as she tried to lift her limbs, and she sobbed as her brain didn’t connect to the nerves. She sobbed so hard that when she eventually flopped back down onto the mattress, a heavy sweat coated her thin, wasting body.

I was now crying too. The tears were silent, but I broke watching my mamma unable to move barely an inch. Broke at how much it took just to lift her fingers.

“I hate this, mio caro… I want to move… I can’t… I can’t…” She trailed off, sobbing once more. Gathering her in my arms, weighing no more than a feather, I pulled her to my chest and rocked her like a child.

“Hush, Mamma, it’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t cry. Be strong,” I whispered.