Sweet Fall

“I’ll be there, Molls. I’m excited to see your new place.”

As Molly hung up the phone, I began planning what to wear. It had to be something that would disguise how much weight I’d lost, something where they wouldn’t suspect. I should double up on my jeans and shirts to add more pounds. If I bulked up my clothes they wouldn’t notice the weight loss.

Weight loss, Lexington? You have not lost enough for them to notice anything, the voice said in response to my thoughts. He was right. I hadn’t lost enough for them to notice anything. I wasn’t committing to my weight loss hard enough.

I ran my hand through my hair in panic, and as I pulled my hand down, a clump of hair came out in my hand. When this first happened, I recoiled in shock. Now it made me happy.

I was so close to reaching perfection.

I stood at the sprawling white apartment complex, and my eyes widened. This place was amazing. I knew Rome had lots of money, but this was something else.

Walking to the intercom, I pressed the button for number four, and the buzzer sounded, opening the gate.

As I entered the main doors, I looked up at the elevator but decided to take the stairs. Four flights of stairs would burn around twenty calories. But when I made it to the second floor, my vision blurred and I had to grab the handrail for support. I felt as though someone were squeezing my lungs as my breathing became labored and I struggled to get oxygen in my body.

“Lexi? Are you down there?”

My head snapped up at the sound of Molly’s voice, and I straightened, taking a deep breath, and set to climbing the rest of the stairs, finding a source of energy from somewhere deep within.

Molly’s smiling face was at the top. She looked beautiful dressed in a fitted pink dress and her brown hair down. But when her eyes met mine, that smile on her face seemed to falter.

As I reached the top, I avoided her hug by passing her a gift bag. “For your housewarming,” I said, and Molly took the bag without looking inside.

“Thanks, sweetie,” she said, still staring at me, and motioned for me to enter the apartment.

It was beautiful—all white, pristine walls and modern furnishings.

Hearing the murmur of voices from what I presumed was the living room, I made my way through to see Rome, Cass, Reece, Jimmy-Don, and Ally.

No Austin, though. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or sad about that fact.

“Hey, guys,” I said in the cheeriest voice possible when I realized nobody had heard me enter. All eyes fixed on me, silence filling the room.

I swayed unsteadily on my feet, slightly lightheaded from the walk up the stairs. They all stared… and stared… and stared… before finally, Ally scooted over and tapped the sofa cushion beside her.

“Come, sit, darlin’,” she said.

Why is she acting so weird?

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I pulled the sweater’s loose sleeves down over my palms and, hunching over to hide my fat, sat down on the seat.

My friends’ eyes darted around the room and onto each other as I sat squirming on my seat.

“How you doing, Lex?” Rome eventually said and sat forward.

“I’m okay. Busy with my studies,” I replied and fixed my gaze on the hardwood floor. I couldn’t take the scrutiny, the attention. “This place is lovely, Rome. You must be real happy.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda f**kin’ perfect,” he replied, and silence once again filled the room.

“Here we go, guys!” Molly’s voice pulled our attention, and she walked out of the kitchen door carrying a huge chocolate cake.

My hands began to shake, my palms began to sweat, and my stomach growled as if it could taste the smooth flavor of chocolate on my tongue.

Do not give in, Lexington. Get out of the room. Do not let them sway you from your goal.

Panic ran through me like a sweeping torrent of water, and my eyes darted around as I tried to think of an excuse to leave.

When I lifted my eyes, all my friends were staring at me, Molly’s eyes glistening with tears.

A cough came from Cass and she said, “Lexi. This isn’t a house warming.”

Black spots blurred my vision as my anxiety became almost insufferable. “What… what do you mean?”

Cass took a deep breath. “We think you have an eating problem, Lex.”

I shook my head profusely. “No, I don’t! It’s just—”

“Then eat the cake,” Cass said and adopted her hard no-shit attitude.

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…

I felt everybody freeze, and the tension on the room became stifling.