Sweet Fall

Looking up at Dr. Lund’s face, I simply said, “She’s my broken Pixie, and I’m her piece of trailer trash scum.”

Dr. Lund regarded me peculiarly, then I saw another doctor hurriedly approaching from behind—the doctor all those months ago who delivered the news that my mamma only had months left to live—holding on to a lady with blond hair.

It was Lexi’s daddy and what looked liked Lexi’s mom.

“Nigel? We got here as quickly as we could,” Dr. Hart said as he stood beside us, gripping the woman’s hand, and I saw recognition flash across on his face as he looked to me. “Mr. Carillo,” he said tightly.

“Hello, sir,” I answered back and lowered my head.

“I just heard from Dr. Small that your momma has been admitted. I’m sorry to hear that, son. You must be finding this all very hard.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said brokenly but kept my gaze on the standard-issue tiles.

Dr. Lund coughed awkwardly and turned to Lexi’s mom and dad. “Austin here was just telling me how he and Lexi are… involved.”

I saw the surprise flit across Dr. and Mrs. Hart’s faces, and then their eyebrows knitted together in concern. “She’s severely anorexic, Austin. Do you know that?” Dr. Hart said icily.

“Yes, sir,” I replied. “She told me her history a while back.”

Dr. Hart nodded his head and he and his wife exchanged looks of intense surprise.

“Do you know she has relapsed?” her momma asked in a barely there voice. “Can you tell us why?”

I shook my head, feeling like a piece of shit as her momma shed tears. “I’ve just been in to see her. I haven’t seen her for a while. I don’t… I—” I trailed off, unable to continue.

Dr. Hart laid a supportive hand on my shoulder. I looked down at the simple gesture, and my legs almost buckled. No one had ever comforted me like that before… no one but Pix. Everyone had always feared me because of the crew I was tied to.

Dr. Hart turned to Dr. Lund. “How is she?”

Dr. Lund sighed. “Unresponsive. Closed in. She’s not cooperating, Maxwell. Not at all. At this point, she’s not even speaking. She’s been lying to her friends and kept herself hidden for the last month to keep from anyone finding out about depriving her body of food.”

My heart beat too slow as I listened to the news. Unresponsive. Closed in. Not even speaking. Lied to her friends. Kept hidden. Depriving her body of food.

“We have no idea how to deal with this, Nigel. I can’t believe we’re back here again.” Lexi’s dad looked broken, and he tucked his wife under his arm. His wife, who was inconsolable.

Dr. Lund looked to Dr. Hart and said, “Just like last time, Maxwell. We have to give her time. We both knew losing Daisy could inspire a relapse such as this.”

“Daisy? Who’s Daisy?” I blurted, and Dr. Hart’s eyes darted to mine.

“She was Lexi’s best friend, Austin. They were diagnosed with anorexia around the same time, hospitalized together. They were inseparable.”

An intense fear ran though me at what Dr. Lund had said. “You… you said you lost her? Do you mean she…?” I couldn’t say the word.

“Daisy died this past summer. She relapsed, hid it from everyone… exactly like what Lexi’s been doing…” Mrs. Hart burst into tears, interrupting Dr. Hart. He pulled her close and pressed a swift kiss on her her head. “Daisy’s body couldn’t fight the anorexia anymore and she died of heart failure. She was too thin and her body shut down.” Dr. Hart put a hand on my shoulder. “Austin, Lexi was with her when she died. She held Daisy’s hand until her last breath. I’m afraid Lexi is in grave danger too.”

God! Pix… what have you been through? And why the f**k didn’t you tell me?

Rome suddenly appeared behind me. “Austin, your mamma’s doctor has just been up. They wanted your insurance details.”

I dropped my head in my hands. “Fuck, Rome. I can’t afford it. But I can’t leave Pix either. What the f**k am I supposed to do? I’m so lost.”

Rome stepped closer still and whispered, “I took care of it, man. I know you won’t like that, but you need help. All you gotta do is be here for your family and your girl. Believe me, I know what this shit feels like.”

My head snapped up and I tried to say no to his help. Rome hooked his hand around my nape, pulling me close, and said, “This ain’t no time to be proud, Carillo. Lean on your friends. Lean on me. This is you getting to say your final good-bye to the woman who gave you life and to inspire hope in the woman you wanna spend the rest of your life with.”