Sweet Rome

My request caused her pain—that much was clear—so holding her hand, I said, “I’ve got you, baby.”

Taking a breath, she said, “My… my father quoted it in his suicide note. He used to say it to me at bedtime every night and I wanted something to remember him by, just so I can never forget him.”

God. The hurt, the confusion was still thick in her voice. She wasn’t over it. Not at all, not even a little bit.

“Is it from memory?”

And then she explained the note, her father’s suicide note, his last words to his only daughter, and that he used to quote that sonnet to her every night. I was so out of my depth. I was a jock with anger issues—I had no idea how to handle the topic of suicide.

“Would you like to read it?” she offered hopefully.

“Why?” Shock and nerves stilled me.

“Because no one but me and my grandma ever has. I’d like to share it with you. I find myself wanting to let you in more and more every day. It may help you understand some things… about me.”

I reluctantly agreed. If it meant knowing more about my girl, I would be crazy not to do so.

She got up from the bed, completely naked, and I watched as her round ass swayed to the closet, her reaching up to grab a box, and I almost groaned in pain.

Christ, my woman was hot.

Peeking over her shoulder, she laughed, “You’re incorrigible.”

I was, and I couldn’t wait to be deep inside her once more. “Just so you know. I’m going to take you again tonight. Addicted, Shakespeare. I’m f**kin’ addicted.”

Blushing, she reached the bed, leaning down, and pressed a kiss to my lips before handing over an old letter wrapped in a plastic. I began to read, completely engrossed in Molly’s daddy’s parting words.

My little Molly-pops, this is the hardest letter I have ever had to write.

Firstly, I want you to know that I have loved you more than any daddy has ever loved his little girl since the very beginning of time. You’re the apple of my eye and the best thing I have ever done in my whole life.

I know that this is all too much for you to understand right now, but you will, in time. I want to explain why I have left you and I want you to know that it’s not because you did anything wrong.

I have loved many people in my life, but the way I loved your mother was beyond anything I can explain. The day you were born was both the saddest and happiest day of my life. The happiest as I got you, but the saddest as I lost the other half of my soul.

I was broken, Molly, and nobody but God could fix me.

One day, my sweet girl, some lucky young man will come and help you understand the very meaning of love. He will sweep you off your feet and show you what it is to place your heart in someone else’s care and to willingly offer them the gift of your soul—and he will own it completely. Make sure he is worth the treasure of your heart and do everything in your power to protect what you have together.

In the future, when you’re older and wiser, you may look back on my departure and have questions, insecurities, and blame me for abandoning you at such a young age—and for that I cannot offer anything that will give you peace. People may tell you I was selfish for leaving you behind, but I believe that it was more selfish to let you live with half a father.

Since your mammy passed, I have lived a sad and lonely life, you and Grandma being the only light in my darkness. I want you to know that I am at peace now and in the happiest place I can imagine—in the arms of your mammy for eternity.

Live life to the fullest, my darling girl, and one day, when God so wishes, I will be waiting to see you again at the gates of paradise, to once again have you jump into my open arms so I can twirl you around, tell you how pretty you are, and introduce you to your mother… who looks just like you.

“So are you to my thoughts as food to life, or as sweet seasoned showers are to the ground.” ~ William Shakespeare

I love you.

Daddy X

I didn’t move for the longest time, reading his words of love and sorrow over and over, abruptly realizing Mol was no longer at my side. Placing the letter down on the bedside table, I looked out to the balcony. She was wrapped in her black robe, just staring out into the night.

She was so damn strong. She came across as this timid little brainiac, but f**k me, the shit she’d survived. She deserved a damn medal.

She was incredible and I loved her beyond words.

Holy Shit! I loved her… I was madly in love with Molly…

Walking to the balcony, I brushed Molly’s long hair over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I turned her to face me. Her eyes immediately searched mine—guarded and scared—but all I wanted to do was kiss her, make love to her, show her she was mine and I wasn’t ever leaving her side. I would be different from everyone else she’d ever had in her life.