Sweet Soul

The girl’s hand lifted up. I thought she was taking the coffee, until her hand landed on her large hood and she slowly pulled it back to reveal her face.

She kept her eyes downcast and ran her tongue over her broken lips. My breathing was held captive in my throat, until she looked up and I released the pent up breath. I could see that she wasn’t as young as she looked. Something in her eyes told me she was near my age, which I quickly realized would make it almost impossible to get her help. She wasn’t underage. I couldn’t make her go anywhere she didn’t want to.

The silence between us became thick and stagnant. I pushed the cup forward to her hand. The girl, regarding the cup like it was a lifeline, slowly reached out and took in her frail grasp. For a moment I thought she might drop the large cup and I steadied the bottom so it didn’t spill.

As my hand balanced the coffee, I could feel the magnitude of her trembling. Placing my coffee down on the ground, I shuffled forward helping her bring the coffee to her lips. As the first taste of the liquid hit her lips, her eyes closed and she took in a stuttered labored breath.

“You okay?” I asked quietly. The girl opened her eyes. Her head tipped to the side, studying my face. She hadn’t heard me. Clearing my throat again, I repeated, “Are you okay?”

The girl watched my lips, and flickering her focus back on my eyes, she gently nodded her head. Helping her rest the coffee on her bent knee, I leaned back, then passed over the bag of food. I realized that she was intently watching my mouth as I lifted the bag and deliberately said, “Sandwiches and cookies.” My cheeks blazed under her attention, and my stomach tightened with nerves. This was the most I’d ever spoken to a girl in my life, and it seemed that she was even more introverted than me.

Lastly, I pulled out the blankets and hoodies. I passed them over to where she sat. Pointing at the wet blanket covering her body, I asked, “Can I?”

The girl froze and her eyes began to narrow. I took the bottom edge of her ruined wet blanket in my hands and held it up for her to see. “This isn’t keeping you warm.” A wash of sympathy ran through me. “It’s making you sick.”

The girl didn’t move. The sympathy I felt quickly morphed into frustration, until she shifted on the floor. Slowly, and what appeared painfully, she lifted her hand and the coffee off the sodden material.

I exhaled in relief. I moved forward until my face was just inches from hers. My heart was thundering in my chest at being this close. And when I looked up, I lost my breath. The girl was watching me so intently. Her dull eyes were flickering all around me, trying to drink in every movement I made, every flicker on my face, every word from my mouth.

Her already labored breathing stuttered with me this close, and this time, I knew it had nothing to do with the cold.

She was terrified.

This girl, this waif of a girl in this alley, was terrified of me. The way her huge eyes tracked me, the helplessness and the sickness I saw in her reminded me of how my mamma was broken on her small bed, and of Lexi when she was ill, too weak and alone, laid up in hospital. It was why I was compelled to stay. That and basic human duty. This girl had stolen from me, taken the most precious thing I owned, but I saw clearly why she did it—this was her life. This damn cesspit of an alley was her entire life.

I gripped the blanket tighter in my hand, fighting the rage of why some people in this world just get a shit hand, when others swan by without a care. The rage was so intense that my hand began to shake. I focused on my hand, knowing I was close to losing it. Suddenly I felt a brush of cold—ice coldness—on my fingers and snapped my eyes up.

The girl… the girl’s small half-gloved hand was laying atop mine. I swallowed, then swallowed again at the sight, forcing myself to look at her face. Her blue eyes were watching me, and when I finally met her eyes, I paused as her head dipped down.

She was saying ‘thank you’.

My anger instantly evaporated. I didn’t move until the girl withdrew her hand. As she did, I removed the wet blanket from her legs. Large rips covered her jeans, only they weren’t for fashion. The anger almost returned when I saw that the top button of her jeans had been ripped off. An inch of her bare stomach was showing above it, and it was lightly bleeding from a recent scratch.

The guy. The guy I’d seen attacking her had done it. If I hadn’t arrived when I did…

Abruptly, the girl pushed her hoodie down to hide her scratch. Her cheeks were blazing red. I knew it was from embarrassment, which pissed me off even more. She had nothing to be embarrassed about.

Forcing myself to remain calm, I took the two blankets I’d bought and laid them over her. I watched with bated breath, when her eyes fluttered to a close and her hand slowly ran over the soft material. I thought my heart would punch through my chest when her lips lifted in a ghost of a smile.

A dry blanket. That was all it took. To this girl, a dry blanket was like a touch of heaven.

I stayed crouched down, just watching her moment of happiness, until a blast of cold wind whipped around us. The chill seeped into my bones. I was already soaked through and freezing. I couldn’t imagine how this girl felt after being out here for Christ knows how long.

I lifted my coffee off the ground and sat before her. When I looked up, the girl was cradling her coffee in her hands, the venti sized cup seeming to dwarf her small frame. As before, her attention was firmly fixed on me. Shuffling on the hard ground, I said, “I know someone who can help you.”

As I spoke I counted the cracks in the asphalt below my foot. “You can’t stay out here. It’s not safe, and you’re sick.”

Still, there was only silence.

I glanced up. The girl’s sad face was all I could see. My stomach fell. I could see by the look on her face that she wasn’t going anywhere. Sensing my stare, she gently shook her head. My jaw tightened as she did, and I begged, “Please. I can’t in good conscience leave you like this,” I gestured around the alley, “out here.”

But the girl simply dipped her head and took a sip of her coffee. Without thinking I touched her leg, causing her to jump. Her gaze slammed to mine. I tried one last time. “Please.”

Wide-eyed, the girl looked away. Loud voices suddenly filled the mouth of the alley. Leaning back, I saw a bunch of what looked like frat guys taking a piss. They were drunk off their asses and staggering around the litter spilling from the dumpster.