Sweet Soul

A yawn pulled on my mouth, and Levi’s arms were suddenly around me. “We need to rest,” he said to his family, Austin and Axel threw me a wave.

Ally pressed a kiss on my cheek and walked to her car. “We’ll see you soon, darlin’. You’re one of us now, ain’t no shaking us off.”

“She ain’t lying,” Levi whispered into my ear and I laughed. I laughed free of restraint. And I sighed. I had a family. A loving family.

“Come on, Elsie, let’s go,” Levi said and led me through the back gate. When we entered the pool house, I let him take the jar from my hands and put it on the side table. He next pulled off my hat, my scarf and my gloves, slowly unzipping my jacket and pushing it off my shoulders.

He put them all in the closet, and when he came back, he tugged on the string of my hoodie, the one that always smelled like him. “When I saw this had gone, I still had hope, a little hope that you weren’t done with me. That you still wanted me.”

My heart fell. “I could never be done with you,” I said and Levi kissed my lips.

When he pulled back, he’d gone all shy, his eyes looking everywhere but me. I lifted to my tiptoes and pressed my palm to his cheek. “What is it?”

Levi ran his finger down my cheek. “I’ve done something for you, because of something you said, a while back… about your mom.”

I stilled. Levi dropped his forehead to mine. “That night, when you saw my mamma’s statue, when you touched her face and told me you never got to say goodbye to your mom. That you never got to tell her you loved her, in your own special way,” he swallowed and rocked on the balls of his feet, “well, I, I wanted to give you it, your goodbye… your final ‘I love you’…”

My heart slammed in my chest as I listened to him stumble over his words. “Levi?” I questioned, when Levi stepped aside and pointed to his dresser and what was on top. Whatever it was was covered in a white cloth that hid it from sight.

I glanced back to him and he put his hands in his pockets, his olive cheeks red with timidity. “I got it for you, to help you. And because… because I lo—” Levi dipped his head, choking on his words.

I knew what he was going to say, but I could see that he needed me to see what was under the cloth first. He needed to know whatever he’d done was okay.

My feet felt like ton weights as I walked forward, each step feeling harder than the one before. When I arrived at the dresser, and the object that was placed directly at my height, I lifted my shaky hand, dragged off the linen, and…

“Levi,” I whispered, a soft disbelieving cry pouring from my lips. My hand flew to my mouth and I couldn’t look away.

Levi cleared his throat. “I… I had Axe make it. I took a picture of the photograph inside your locket on my phone while you slept a few weeks back and gave it to him. He finished it yesterday. He brought it in here for when you came back, for when you—”

“You gave me back my mom?” I hushed out, pushing out my hand, but then pulling it right back too afraid to touch the snowy white marble. “You brought me my mom so I could say goodbye?”

I forced myself to turn and look at Levi, whose expression betrayed his fear—his fear that he’d done something wrong.

Levi shrugged. “To say goodbye, or just to have around, to see when you want. This way you get to see her when you need, and she can still watch over you, like my mamma’s angel does me, does all of us.”

My sight blurred with tears, at what he’d done. At the most breathtaking act that had ever been thought of.

I made my way to my shy guy who was rocking on his feet, and I placed my hand over his heart. Levi’s eyes were wide as he waited for what I would say.

“This is the kindest, most thoughtful act someone could ever do. To give me this, my mom?” I shook my head wondering how I ever deserved such kindness, when I said, “You are kind-hearted, Levi. You’re what people should strive to be. Kindness is giving someone something, or an act that requires nothing in return, not even a thank you, and you’ve done this. For me. You’ve given me my chance at goodbye.”

With his head kept down, he explained, “I just wanted you to be happy. Finally. I want it so damn much for you, bella mia.”

I threw myself in his arms and sighed when he hugged me back. I felt his warm breath ghost past my face. “Say goodbye to her, bella mia, say goodbye how you always wanted to, how it always should have been.”

I sucked in a breath, suddenly terrified. Squeezing Levi tighter, I asked, “Will you stay in the room with me? I don’t want to be alone.”

Levi nodded against my head, then I pulled back and turned around. I faced the perfect sculpture of my mom’s face, and I felt the ache in my heart that I always did. She’d been so lost all her life. Her soul was too fragile to have been born into this world.

“You know the Lost Boys from Peter Pan?” I asked aloud.

I never turned to Levi for the answer, but he replied, “Yeah.”

I smiled, standing before my mom’s sculpture, her eyes bright and her smile full. “I loved that story when I was younger. Peter Pan. I remember my mom repeatedly telling me about how the cruel the world was, that she wished she wasn’t in it. It would upset me so much that I used to pray to God for Peter Pan to come and get her. I was young and thought Peter was real. I used to pray for him to come and take her to Neverland because she’d be happy there with people just like her. People who could love her and make her smile, because everyone was cared for in Neverland. There was no pain or cruel words.” I ran my finger down her perfectly sculpted hair. “My mom was a fictional Lost Boy stuck in this non-fiction world… and she used to tell me that I was the same as her.”

I sighed and shook my head. I looked at my mom as if she was actually before me. I looked into her eyes. “But I wasn’t like you, mom,” I hushed out quietly. “Yes, I was mistreated. Yes, I tried to take my own life, but I’ve realized that maybe, just maybe I do belong here after all. I think maybe I always knew that my salvation would come to me one day, that I’d be found from being lost.” I paused and thought of the boy stood behind me. “You used to tell me that there was no place for people like us in this world, to hide my voice and protect my heart. And I did, mom. I did what you said for such a long time. And you were right, when I spoke I was bullied, I was ridiculed… and I folded, I let it hurt me. I let it break me down, yet I did not break.” I wiped my cheeks.