Sweet Surrendering (Surrender Saga #1)(66)
Author: Chelsea M. Cameron

Yes, I was an only child and didn’t have a lot of friends.

We talked more about our childhoods, and even though they’d been so different, there were so many things we had in common. Childhood was pretty similar no matter how you grew up, I guessed.

I was hungry and ready to order food, and Lucah seemed better.

“Thank you, Sunshine. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Same here.” We smiled like idiots at each other and I realized something else. Yes, I loved him, but not just in a romantic way. He’d become one of my best friends. Even if we never had sex again, I would miss his presence in my life if he were gone. I couldn’t get rid of him now, even if I wanted to.

“You’re my favorite,” I said as he pulled me to my feet and then into his arms.

“You’re my favoritest of favorite things,” he said.

We didn’t talk any more about his brother that night, but I wanted to make it a regular thing for us to talk more about growing up and our pasts. I still felt like there was so much I didn’t know.

“I’m not good at opening up,” he admitted, at last, the next morning as we showered together. If we didn’t hurry, we were both going to be late.

“Why Lucah, whatever do you mean?” I said, rinsing the shampoo from his hair so it didn’t get in his eyes. My shower was enormous, which was one of the reasons I’d fallen in love with this apartment. There was nothing worse than trying to be sexy with a guy in a shower that was too small.

“Yes, I deserve that.” I squirted some conditioner and ran it through the ends of his hair and he did the same with mine. I’d taught him well by now.

“It’s self preservation, most of the time. And fear. Fear that if I open up to people they won’t like what they see.”

“You’re silly,” I said, making his hair into a mohawk. “Why wouldn’t someone like you?” I was sure there were people, but they weren’t anybody I would want to be friends with anyway.

“There are a lot of people that are not fond of me, Sunshine. It’s a longer list than you could imagine.”

“Okay, now I’m intrigued,” I said as he tipped his head back to rinse the conditioner out and then we switched places so I could do the same.

He laughed but didn’t elaborate.

“Hey, don’t leave me hanging like that,” I said, but he just shook his head and started massaging my back as the hot water pounded down on me. That felt amazing, and even though I knew he was using it as a way not to continue our conversation, I was going to let him. I could ambush him later when he least expected it.

We ended up both getting to work on time, but as soon as Lucah sat down on his desk, he pulled his phone out and looked at it, frowning. He quickly typed something and then waited for a response. I figured it was something about his brother so I tried not to eavesdrop by staring at him and turned my computer on while I started to figure out what I had to get done immediately.

My phone rang and I answered it without looking to see who it was. Before I could say hello, I hear Lucah’s voice.

“Listen, there are some things I need to take care of today, so I need to leave. I’m so, so sorry, but this has to get done.” I looked across the room and he really did look sorry. It absolutely totally and completely sucked and I wasn’t thrilled, but I also wasn’t a total bitch.

“Are you sure you can’t tell me what this is regarding?”

“I wish I could, but I can’t.” I was getting really tired of hearing him say that over and over, but it wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

“Okay. Okay. Just . . . just be careful and I’ll see you later. Bye.” I didn’t wait for him to say anything. I needed to get off the phone before I said something that I couldn’t take back. I wrote a smiley face on a sticky note and put it on top of some files and went to drop them off on his desk without saying a word. I hoped he wasn’t mad at me, but I could only take so much.

“I want to take you out somewhere,” he said that night as we lay in bed. We’d pushed aside the unpleasantness of earlier. I’d spent the day completely stressed out that he wasn’t there, and wondering where the hell he was and what he could possibly be doing and if maybe I should fire him, and then that would solve everything. But then I knew it wouldn’t, so I resigned myself to doing nothing again.

“Where?” We’d never actually gone out just the two of us, other than the Museum day. I think both of us were worried about being seen together. I didn’t seem to be the only paranoid one on that front.

“I don’t know. Don’t care, really. Just want to go somewhere with you on my arm so everyone will see my girl.” Aw, well that was just adorable. I wanted people to see me with him, too.

“How about dinner? I know that sounds so typical, but it would be fun with you. And the movies? We could sit in the back and mock whatever it was.” This was one of our favorite things to do together now when we found a crappy movie on television. Mock the crap out of it.

“Perfect. How did you know that was exactly what I would pick?”

“I’m psychotic,” I said with a serious face.

“I think you mean psychic, Sunshine.”

“Yeah, that too.” He just shook his head at me. Hey, he was the one who wanted to be seen in public with me. You could dress me up but you couldn’t take me out.

“So when is this going to occur?” I asked as he rested his head on my stomach. He didn’t seem to mind that it wasn’t exactly flat. Probably was more comfortable on his head that way.

“How about tomorrow night?”

“You’re not going to be disappearing again, are you?” I didn’t mean to say it, but it came out anyway.

“No,” he said, kissing my belly button. “I think the disappearing is going to be slowing down. Hopefully. I have my fingers crossed.”

This was news to me, but good news.

“Will you tell me what it was? Someday?” I asked.

He let out a breath.

“Maybe someday.” That wasn’t enough of an answer, but I’d have to take it.

30

“How about here?” Lucah and I stopped outside of another restaurant. We’d decided that we wouldn’t pick a place beforehand, because it was more fun to walk around and then decide together. More spontaneous, too. I had a few favorite places, but I wanted to try something new.