Sweet (True Believers #2)(65)
Author: Erin McCarthy

“I understand.” I did. “And I bet that somewhere up there in heaven, where there’s no heroin, your mom is watching and she’s proud of you and happy.”

He pursed his lips and rested his chin in his palm, smoke drifting over his face, his eyes dark and serious and luminous. “Yeah. You’re right. And thanks for understanding that I don’t wish her dead. I never have.”

“I know.”

“I hit her once,” he said quietly. “She was waling on me, using an unopened beer to just clock me in the head over and over, and I was trying to push her off, and I nailed her right in the face without meaning to. I feel so guilty for that.”

And that was why I loved him. One accidental contact on a woman who had abused him for years, and he felt guilt. “She forgives you, just like you forgive her. Her life was a painful struggle but look at what she left behind . . . you and the boys are a beautiful legacy.”

He smiled. “And you’re beautiful.” Leaning forward, he gave me a quick kiss. “Do you know that I need you? I don’t just want you, I need you.”

My heart squeezed. “I feel the same way,” I murmured. “I feel like with you, I finally know who I am.”

For a second, we just stared at each other, the words settling in, the future mapping out.

He gently kissed me again, then gave me a grin. “Why don’t you go and jump on that slide? I really wouldn’t mind seeing you in a wet bikini.”

“Perv.” Not that I minded in the slightest. We were inching ever closer to total completion of our relationship (read: sex) and all this extended exploration and anticipation had given us an intimacy that I hadn’t even known I was capable of. If he wanted me soaking wet, well, I could totally manage that.

***

When Tyler got home, he fist bumped all his brothers with a big grin, having gotten the text from Riley. “Hell, yeah,” was his opinion. He rubbed Easton’s head. “I’m going to get you the next Harry Potter book with my next paycheck.”

I was lying on the picnic table getting some sun and I rolled onto my side. Riley was sitting on the bench behind me, his hand lazily stroking my thigh below my shorts.

“Cool!” Easton was a little high on life, running around the yard, soaking wet and clearly relieved. “Riley says we’re going out for burgers and milkshakes!”

“I know. You guys go and change and by the time you’re ready Rory should be here.”

“Rory’s coming?” Easton started doing some sort of jump and spin thing.

“Yep. She figured today is an important day, man, she wants to be here for dinner.”

“Excellent,” I said, genuinely pleased. I missed her and I had a lot to catch her up on. “I won’t be the only chick for a change. Having all these sexy guys around me is starting to spoil me.”

Riley made a rude sound. “If that’s a hint, sell it somewhere else, because I ain’t buying.”

“I am,” Jayden said.

That made me laugh so hard I’m sure my br**sts gave him enough jiggle to fuel more than one fantasy.

After an awesome and rowdy dinner at the burger joint we came back to the house, laughing and talking. I hooked my arm through Rory’s as the guys dropped down in the living room on various surfaces. “Come on, I want to talk to you privately.”

“Where are you going?” Riley asked.

“Our room. Rory and I want to do girl things.” I meant paint our nails and gossip.

But he raised his eyebrows and said, “If you two are going to make out, can I watch?”

“Riley!”

“Dude,” Tyler said to his brother. “Seriously?”

Rory was blushing. I threw a couch pillow at Riley.

“What?” Riley asked Tyler. “I mean, come on, if they were going to make out, wouldn’t you want to watch? Seriously, be honest.”

Tyler grinned. “Yeah, I can’t lie. But I meant, you know, maybe you should watch what you joke about it in front of certain people.” He jerked his head toward Easton.

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” Riley made a face. “Oops.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tyler said.

“I’m working on it!” Riley protested.

“We’re going away,” I said firmly. “Come on.” I pulled Rory. “You have to see our room.”

When I opened the door, feeling triumph, Rory started laughing. “Oh my God, Jess, this is awesome! I mean, I can’t believe what you did with the whole house, but this is classic. I can’t believe Riley, of all people, sleeps here.”

I jumped on the bed. “Sit down. It’s a freaking waterbed, can you stand it?”

We climbed up by the headboard, and leaned on it, our knees up. I had unpacked my boxes from our former dorm room and I had discarded the weird horse blanket dirty thing that had formerly resided on the waterbed. It had been replaced by my purple floral comforter with hot pink fuzzy pillows. The pattern was actually called garden floral, and it was like juicy daisies on acid. There was an orange throw at the bottom with dangling pom poms that I had learned served as serious entertainment for the cat at three in the morning. Over the bed I had hung my giant white J (okay, I made Riley hang it) next to which Riley had taken a Sharpie and drawn a huge R, right on the wall. So we were JR.

On the nightstand I had replaced the brass lamp with a purple blown glass one, and on the dresser next to the picture of his mother, I had set a ceramic hand, to hold my jewelry. The first day after I put it there, I kept finding it in weird places, like sticking out from under the couch cushions, and in the fridge. But once his amusement with using it to scare his brothers wore off, Riley started cramming his wallet between the thumb and index fingers and left it in place.

“I miss you,” I told her. “I’m glad you’re here for the weekend.”

“I miss you, too. It’s cool to see my dad and everything, but it’s just that I feel like my life is here now, not there, you know?”

I nodded. Rory was wearing a cute and very short dress, the feminine and floral print one only she could pull off. I would look like a giantess trying to squeeze into a toddler’s dress if I wore that. “I get it, trust me. I mean, I am upset about my parents, but at the same time, as long as they’re still willing to talk to me, and my dad is, what difference does it mean if they cut me off?” I had thought about it a lot, and there were worse things than being forced to grow up a little. “My mom will miss me eventually, but right now maybe we don’t belong in each other’s worlds.”