Taken Over (The Ravening #2)(29)
Author: Erica Stevens

The body of the mangled boy flashed through my mind. What they had done to him had been brutal, violent, and spiteful. They had made him pay for surviving The Freezing. They would make us pay even worse for fighting them. What had they done to Cade?

My head bowed beneath the weight of my thoughts. I couldn’t think about what they had done to him, couldn’t think about how awful his last moments must have been. I would snap if I did, I would lose my mind, my sanity, if I allowed myself to think about it him suffering for too long. I would shatter into a thousand different pieces, none of them fixable if I did.

“Bethany?” I turned slightly toward Bret, not fully able to meet his gaze. I was afraid he would see too much of my thoughts if I looked at him. And I didn’t want him to know just how desolate I felt right now. “Are you ok?”

I managed a small nod. I wanted to offer him a small smile, but I couldn’t bring myself to do even that. He rested his hand on my shoulder as he came to stand beside me. I thought I should move away from his touch, but it felt good to have the comfort of another human being. There weren’t many of us left. “I miss Abby and Aiden.”

Bret was silent for a long moment and then his hand tightened upon my shoulder. “And him.”

I closed my eyes for a long moment before turning slowly back to him. Bret had always possessed a youthful air of optimism and innocence that was both endearing and captivating. In this moment he appeared far wearier, far more battle worn than I had ever expected to see him. He had aged so much in the past month. He was not the young boy who had been my boyfriend, not even the young man that had been my friend. It wasn’t just the dark circles under his eyes, but also the dark light that now haunted them. I wondered what I appeared like to him now, how haunted, beaten, and aged I must seem too.

“Yes, and him,” I breathed, the pain in my chest making it difficult to get the words out.

I winced, hating myself as something shifted and changed within Bret’s eyes. Pain bloomed in his gaze, but there was something more, something else coming to life within his caring eyes. “I thought it was just a whim, just the heat of the moment, and the fear of death that brought the two of you together. But it was more, wasn’t it?”

I was finding it hard to breathe. “Yes. I never meant to hurt you Bret. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you.”

“I know that. But not in the same way that you love him.”

I didn’t want to respond to that, there wasn’t anything that I could say to make any of this better. We had all been hurt, all been wounded, I didn’t want the pain to continue, but it had only been a matter of time before we had this conversation, and it was passed time to get it over with. “No, it’s not.”

“You’re not in love with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You never were.”

“I’m sorry Bret. You deserve better, you deserve someone who can give you what you need. And I can’t. That part of me is gone.”

He was silent for a long moment. “It doesn’t have to be.”

He pushed back a strand of my hair as it fell across my face. His fingers lingered on my cheek for a long moment. “Bret…”

“I’m not saying for me Bethany,” he assured me quickly. “I get that it’s not going to be us, I understand that now. Maybe one day you’ll be able to find someone that may not take his place, but that you might love again.”

I couldn’t stop the single tear that slipped free. His words were reasonable, they made sense, but I knew they were wrong. I could live another fifty years (the way things were going it was unlikely), but in those fifty years there would never be someone to take Cade’s place. I didn’t have a heart left to give to someone else.

“I am sorry Bret. I do love you.”

He smiled wanly and stroked my cheek one last time before letting me go. “I know you do, and though I’m working on changing my view of our relationship, I will always love you too.”

I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. He held me close for a long moment before releasing me. “I’m sorry you’re hurting so badly.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” He ran a hand through his ruffled blond locks, trying to hide his chagrin at my words. “Jenna is actually a really nice person. She’s different than the way she used to be.”

Bret shrugged absently, his eyes were distant. “She’s handling all this better than I’d thought she would.” He was still obtuse to Jenna’s feelings for him but I thought with some gentle nudging, and a little time, he would eventually come around. “We should wake the others; the sun’s going to be up soon.”

I watched him as he walked back toward Jenna and Lloyd. I felt a little better, a little lighter as some of my burden was lifted from my shoulders. There were many others to carry still, but I was certain that we could all get through them together.

***

“Bethany!” Abby squealed as she raced at me. She flung herself against me with enough force to knock me back a good foot. Her small arms wrapped around my waist as she clung to me, clinging with the tenacity of a burr.

I inhaled a pain filled breath. Before entering the new camp I had slipped Bret’s shirt on. It chafed and irritated as it rubbed against my barely healed burn, but I did not want Abby to see the wound. She would only become frightened, and I sure as hell didn’t want her to know how it had come about. Unfortunately though, she couldn’t see that I was wounded, and took no care as she shook me. Hissing a pain filled breath from between my teeth, I managed to hug her back. I reveled in the feel of her small body against mine. Shifting slightly, I was able to ease some of the pressure she was putting on my wounded shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re back!”

“Me too.”

“We were so worried! You were gone for so long!”

“I know, but we’re ok.”

“You didn’t find any survivors?”

I shook my head, trying not to think about the things we had found. “No, but Jenna’s family is still alive, or at least they were.”

“How do you know that?”

I untangled myself from her, but kept my good arm draped around her shoulder as we made our way toward the dilapidated barn the survivors had taken up residence in yesterday. There was a small farmhouse beside it, and that was where Abby was steering me. “I’ll explain later.”