Taken Over (The Ravening #2)(53)
Author: Erica Stevens

“Why?” I whispered, my lip trembling. Emotions ricocheted through me faster than a bullet in a metal room. “Why did you have to go? You never would have hurt me Cade. You controlled The Calling as a boy of five, why couldn’t you do the same at seven, ten, or even fifteen?”

“Because they would have killed you too.”

I started in surprise. “Who would have killed me too?”

He took a step closer to me. I could see the yearning in his gaze for me, his desire to hold me, to have me understand. “The Marshall’s were not killed during a random home invasion. They were killed because of me.”

“I don’t understand,” I whispered.

“We don’t feel emotion Bethany. We don’t care for anything other than ourselves and our gratification. We don’t exhibit love for anyone. I was young; I was unbelievably stunned to have met you. I was in love, and though I thought I hid that fact well, I didn’t. My kind noticed something in me, something different, but they miscalculated where that difference came from. They had assumed that it was the Marshall’s I had come to feel for. After I met you I did grow to like them, they were nice enough people, but I still felt little for them other than thanks for providing me with shelter and food. My love for you did not spread to others. I cared for them more than I had before, but their deaths did not overly sadden me.

“But after they were murdered I knew I had to stay away from you. My kind couldn’t realize that they had been wrong, that it was you that had changed me. They would have killed you then, and they would not have been as kind about it as they had been to the Marshall’s.”

I had been struggling all along to remain standing. My legs finally gave up the battle. Sliding down the bark of the trunk, I stared at him in stunned silence, unable to fully process all that he was saying. Horror filled me, I was half afraid I might vomit. “They died because of me?” I croaked out.

Cade was suddenly before me. There was so much sorrow in his eyes, so much pain in his expression as his hands gently clasped hold of my cheeks. “They died because of me Bethany, because I was not strong enough to hide my newfound feelings, because I could not control what I felt for you. I promised myself that I would stay away from you after that, that I would keep my distance and keep you safe, no matter what I had to do to make sure of it. No matter how much it killed me to stay away when you were the only thing I wanted, the only thing I thought of. It didn’t matter how much it hurt me, how much your feelings were hurt, I had to keep you alive. I had to keep you away from them and I did everything I could to ensure your survival.”

My chest was so constricted with love and sorrow that I could hardly breathe. “The night of my dad’s funeral…”

“Your pain was so intense I could feel it all the way across town. No we aren’t empath’s,” he explained at my questioning, stunned look. “But I’m bonded to you somehow, I always have been. I’m connected to you in an intense, intimate way that cannot be broken. I couldn’t stay away from you that night, couldn’t let you go through that alone. I had to come to you because your pain was my pain. I wished every day after that I could return to you, but I couldn’t risk it. I just couldn’t.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until he wiped the tears from my cheeks. Didn’t realize how badly I ached for him until he bent and kissed me gently. “Even now,” he breathed against me. His breath was warm, sweet, and reassuring against my flesh. “I should have stayed away from you, I should have stayed gone. I felt your grief for me, your pain and loss even through the distance separating us. I struggled to keep my own agony concealed from them, struggled to convey to them that I was still one of them. That I wasn’t different, and I did well with it. I couldn’t leave right away though, couldn’t flee. To run from them would have put you in even more danger, they would have hunted me, searched for me relentlessly. I had to stay away, but I couldn’t bare your anguish, I had to give you hope…”

“My dream,” I whispered in awe.

“Yes, I wanted you to move on…”

“I couldn’t. I never could. I tried and I accepted the fact that you were wrong but I couldn’t move on from you Cade. It’s not, it’s not like that with me, I simply couldn’t…”

“Shh love, I know. I understand.” He kissed my cheeks gently as my voice broke off on a wrenching sob that lodged in my chest. “But your life could continue on with some hope in it; that was all I wanted to give you. And to hold you once more, even if it was just in a dream. But when they hurt you…” His words trailed off, his jaw clenched as his eyes simmered with black fire. “If you were killed, I would have known it. I felt your pain through my bond to you, to feel your death…

He inhaled a shuddery breath, for a brief moment the black shifted throughout his entire eye again. I was breathless as I watched him slowly reel the fury and despair back in. “I couldn’t live with that, I would have snapped. I had vowed to keep you safe my entire life, and in that moment I knew I had failed. I couldn’t stay away from you anymore; I couldn’t let them hurt you again. I convinced my kind that I would be more useful on the ground, as I knew more about humans and was more adept at blending in with them, and they agreed to let me come back. They don’t know where I am, but they believe that I am on their side. If they find me, if they catch us together, what they will do to you…”

“I don’t care,” I gushed out terrified that he would leave just so such a thing didn’t happen.

“I do and you will. But to leave you unprotected again, I can’t.” His fingers threaded through my hair, pushing it gently away from my face. His voice was fervent, he clung desperately to me. “I can help keep you safe Bethany. Those things won’t get hold of you again as long as I’m around. Whatever you decide, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. If you want me to leave…” His hands tightened on me briefly, a small shudder of agony ran through his body. “I will. Anything you want. Anything.”

I opened my mouth to respond, to tell him that I never wanted him to leave me. That though I was wounded, betrayed; aching with loss and confusion, I loved him just as much as he loved me. That I needed him just as badly as he needed me. We could deal with this. We would deal with this together.

But he placed his finger over my mouth before I could respond. “But there is one more thing that you need to know before you make your choice. One thing that could make you hate me forever.”