Temporary Bliss (Bliss #1)(35)
Author: B.J. Harvey

Realizing that I’m trying to make him lose control, Daniel brings his hands up to cup my ass, holding my pu**y hard against his face as he places his lips around my clit, flicking his tongue as fast as he can against the nub. He tortures me into submission as my orgasm slams into me, crashing over me in waves as I’m forced to let his c**k fall out of my mouth and let my breathtaking climax devour me whole. I grab him in my hand and wrap my lips around the tip, using my hand to jerk him off. With three firm up and down strokes, he thrusts his hips as he spills inside my mouth, shooting into the back of my throat as I swallow down every last drop.

I pull away, my limp body unable to move off him as I lay my head against his tense thigh.

“Damn, babe, that was insanely good.”

“Mmm hmm,” I reply, earning a chuckle from the man lying beneath me.

Then I realize that he’s just sexed me out of my plans. The plan to come over and end this was all but thrown out the window with a mind blowing sixty-niner in his living room, in front of the floor to ceiling windows.

Holy crap. I’m screwed.

A little while later, after we’ve showered and eaten dinner, my resolve returns. I have to do it now. A clean break. Like ripping off the band aid, quick and painless. That’s the plan anyway.

Daniel’s on the phone to his parents. They’ve called him for his weekly Sunday catch up.

“Hey, Mom. How are you? … Yeah, I’m good. Mac and I are just hanging out on the couch waiting for our movie to start. … She’s the woman I’m seeing…” He looks over at me, a faint smile grows on his lips. “A few months now. … That sounds cool. I’d love for you to meet her. I’ll ask her and let you know.”

I feel my whole body tense up. I can’t do ‘meet the parents’. That’s not part of not not dating. In fact, that’s a giant leap into ‘dating’ territory.

“Okay, well I’ll call you tomorrow when I get to the office. Love you. Bye.”

“Sorry about that,” he says, putting his phone down and sitting back down on the couch.

I turn my body towards him, taking a big breath as I try to brace myself for what’s about to unfold.

“Daniel, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be what you want me to be,” I start off.

“Mac? What are you talking about?” A frown mars his beautiful face.

“I can’t meet your parents, I can’t go to ‘coming out’ parties, I can’t be your girlfriend. I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Mac, I don’t think you have a f**king clue what you want. God!” he says. Exasperated, he gets up off the couch and walks towards the huge glass window that lines his living room, planting both hands on the glass and looking out towards the lake.

“Is it the other guys? Because seriously, Mac, I’m in so deep, I’ll take you however I can have you. I’ll wait, however long it takes. If these last few months with you have shown me anything, it’s that you’re meant to be mine. I know that already, f**k, I’ve known it for a while now. I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up.”

Wow.

I take a moment to let it sink in what he’s just declared. Meant to be his? This is exactly why I just have to power through this.

“I can’t, Daniel. I made a vow to myself a long time ago, and I intend to keep that, but I can’t stand by and hold you back and let you wait for something that is never gonna happen. You deserve to be happy. To have the wife, kids, the whole nine yards. I’m letting you go so you can find that.”

I can feel my chest tightening as I try to hold back the tears.

“What vow? Why can’t you let me in and admit that there is something good going on here?” he says loudly, not hiding his frustration.

I stand up, walking to the island in the kitchen and grab my purse. I take a moment to try and compose myself. It won’t help if he sees me upset. I turn to face him.

“I can’t tell you, but please know that I’m sorry. I hope that we can still be friends, but I understand if we can’t.” My voice shakes slightly, and I know he didn’t miss hearing it.

“Mac, you can talk to me,” he pleads hoarsely. “Just… don’t go. Not like this. Tell me what I can do, let me in…”

He spins around and walks towards me. I step backwards until my back hits the front door and his hands are placed either side of my head. He dips his head and nips my bottom lips, silently asking for entry. I try to resist, but everything that is him surrounds me and I part my lips. Our lips mesh together, his tongue claiming mine, invading my mouth with rapture as he stokes the fire deep within me. I regain enough coherence to move my hands between us, gently pressing on his chest.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against mine, our lips barely parted as we stand there, breathing each other in.

“God, I want to hate you for doing this to us, but I can’t,” he whispers, kissing my forehead one last time before stepping back. “I could never hate you, Mac. That’s why this f**king hurts so much.”

I take one last look at him before willing myself to open the door and leave.

Walking towards the elevator, I flinch at the sound of something shattering against a wall, and I have to fight from turning back around and telling Daniel it was a mistake. I didn’t expect it to hurt this much. It’s the exact thing I’ve been trying to protect myself against.

As the elevator doors close, a lone tear falls down my cheek. I haven’t cried in four years, but Daniel snuck into my heart when I wasn’t looking. As much as what I’ve just done hurts, he’ll thank me for it one day.

I text Kate, hoping like hell she is home. I need a distraction. Alcohol is what I need; something to drive Daniel out of my head so that this ache in my chest goes away.

That’s it. A night out with my girl. The perfect antidote to a not dating breakup. Hell, I can’t even describe what it was, but whatever it was is over. Time to move the f**k on. I need tequila shots and dancing, dusting myself off and getting back out there. That is what I need.

I need to forget Daniel Winters and the way he made me feel. It’s the only way I’ll be able to get through this.

Chapter 17 – “Just A Fool”

When I get home after leaving Daniel’s apartment, there is no Kate and no dancing.

I plant myself on the couch with a bottle of Petron and a shot glass. Kate is at her parents for dinner. She sent me a text me earlier to tell me she was staying the night and would be home in the morning. This left me alone in the house, free to wallow in my confusion.