The Awakening

And then it all shattered.

"Why, Elena, how sweet you look," said a voice, and Elena’s vision was dazzled with gold. It was Caroline, her auburn hair rich and glossy, her skin tanned to a perfect bronze. She was wearing a dress of pure gold lame that showed an incredibly daring amount of that perfect skin. She slipped one bare arm through Stefan’s and smiled lazily up at him. They were stunning together, like a couple of international models slumming at a high school dance, far more glamorous and sophisticated than anyone else in the room.

"And that little dress is so pretty ," continued Caroline, while Elena’s mind kept on running on automatic. That casually possessive arm linked with Stefan’s told her everything: where Caroline had been at lunch these past weeks, what she had been up to all this time. "I told Stefan we simply had to stop by for a moment, but we’re not going to stay long. So you don’t mind if I keep him to myself for the dances, do you?" 

Elena was strangely calm now, her mind a humming blank. She said no, of course she didn’t mind, and watched Caroline move away, a symphony in auburn and gold. Stefan went with her.

There was a circle of faces around Elena; she turned from them and came up against Matt. "You knew he was coming with her." 

"I knew she wanted him to. She’s been following him around at lunchtime and after school, and kind of forcing herself on him. But…" 

"I see." Still held in that queer, artificial calm, she scanned the crowd and saw Bonnie coming toward her, and Meredith leaving her table. They’d seen, then. Probably everyone had. Without a word to Matt, she moved toward them, heading instinctively for the girls’ rest room.

It was packed with bodies, and Meredith and Bonnie kept their remarks bright and casual while looking at her with concern.

"Did you see that dress?" said Bonnie, squeezing Elena’s fingers secretly. "The front must be held on with superglue. And what’s she going to wear to the next dance? Cellophane?" 

"Handiwrap," said Meredith. She added in a low voice, "Are you okay?" 

"Yes." Elena could see in the mirror that her eyes were too bright and that there was one spot of color burning on each cheek. She smoothed her hair and turned away.

The room emptied, leaving them in privacy. Bonnie was fiddling nervously with the sequined bow at her waist now. "Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing after all," she said quietly. "I mean, you haven’t thought about anything else but him in weeks. Nearly a month. And so maybe it’s just for the best, and you can move on to other things now, instead of… well, chasing him." 

Et tu, Brute? thought Elena. "Thank you so much for your support," she said aloud.

"Now, Elena, don’t be like that," Meredith put in. "She isn’t trying to hurt you, she just thinks-" 

"And I suppose you think so, too? Well, that’s fine. I’ll just go out and find myself some other things to move on to. Like some other best friends." She left them both staring after her.

Outside, she threw herself into the whirl of color and music. She was brighter than she had ever been at any dance before. She danced with everyone, laughing too loudly, flirting with every boy in her path.

They were calling her to come up and be crowned. She stood on the stage, looking down on the butterfly-bright figures below. Someone gave her flowers; someone put a rhinestone tiara on her head. There was clapping. It all passed as if in a dream.

She flirted with Tyler because he was closest when she came off the stage. Then she remembered what he and Dick had done to Stefan, and she broke off one of the roses from her bouquet and gave it to him. Matt was looking on from the sidelines, his mouth tight. Tyler’s forgotten date was almost in tears.

She could smell alcohol along with the mint on Tyler’s breath now, and his face was red. His friends were around her, a shouting, laughing crowd, and she saw Dick pour something from a brown paper bag into his glass of punch.

She’d never been with this group before. They welcomed her, admiring her, the boys vying for her attention. Jokes flew back and forth, and Elena laughed even when they didn’t make sense. Tyler’s arm circled her waist, and she just laughed harder. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Matt shake his head and walk away. The girls were getting shrill, the boys rowdy. Tyler was nuzzling moistly at her neck.

"I’ve got an idea," he announced to the group, hugging Elena more tightly to him. "Let’s go someplace more fun." 

Somebody shouted, "Like where, Tyler? Your dad’s house?" 

Tyler was grinning, a big, boozy, reckless grin. "No, I mean someplace where we can leave our mark. Like the cemetery." 

The girls squealed. The boys elbowed each other and faked punches.

Tyler’s date was still standing outside the circle. "Tyler, that’s crazy," she said, her voice high and thin. "You know what happened to that old man. I won’t go there." 

"Great, then, you stay here." Tyler fished keys out of his pocket and waved them at the rest of the crowd. "Whoisn’t afraid?" he said.

"Hey, I’m up for it," said Dick, and there was a chorus of approval.

"Me, too," said Elena, clear and defiant. She smiled up at Tyler, and he practically swung her off her feet.

And then she and Tyler were leading a noisy, roughhousing group out into the parking lot, where they were all piling into cars. And then Tyler was putting the top of his convertible down and she was climbing in, with Dick and a girl named Vickie Bennett squashing into the back seat.

"Elena!" somebody shouted, far away, from the lighted doorway at the school.

"Drive," she said to Tyler, taking off her tiara, and the engine growled to life. They burned rubber out of the parking lot, and the cool night wind blew into Elena’s face.