The Darkest Pleasure (Lords of the Underworld #3)(72)
Author: Gena Showalter

"Died? No. He walked out on us a while ago. Started another family." The loss had devastated her. She’d considered him a god. At the very least, a good man with a kind heart. But he’d abandoned her as if she’d meant nothing to him. "My mom told me his midlife crisis kicked in."

"I am sorry."

"After that, my grandparents – my mom’s parents – stepped in and helped my mom raise us. My grandpa became a second father to me, which is why his death nearly destroyed me."

"You have known much loss in your short life."

"Yes." And she didn’t want to lose Reyes, too. She’d tried to prevent it, had fought against it, but somehow he’d come to mean the world to her. "Your turn to tell me something."

A pause. Then, "Give me a moment to think."

She rotated to her side. Again the sheet rasped against her, reminding her that a very handsome, sensual man was mere inches away. Still. I’m wearing a T-shirt and surrounded by cotton. My body shouldn’t react as though I’m naked and being draped by silk. But the heat was spreading, infusing her every cell.

"Tell me about your other girlfriends." That ought to put a damper on her arousal. Then she realized exactly what she’d said. "By other," she rushed to say, "I don’t mean that I’m your current girlfriend or that I’ve ever been your girlfriend." God, could this conversation get any more embarrassing?

A sigh pushed from him, and Danika would have sworn she felt that minty breath all over her sensitive body.

"I tried to keep females. Two of them."

Two? The whores! Whoa, girl. Bring it down a notch. "Keep them? What do you mean?"

"Have a relationship," he clarified.

"What happened?" Did they fall down a flight of stairs and break their ugly faces? Jealousy was so not a good look for her, she decided.

"After a few weeks in my bed, they began to lash out at everyone they encountered. I mentioned that before, but did I tell you they laughed while doing it? Tripping people – innocents. Pushing, scratching, punching. Even cutting."

She detected a note of guilt in his voice. "And you still think you made them that way?"

"I know I did."

"Maybe that was their nature. Maybe you just helped them unleash their true desires. Maybe you were subconsciously drawn to that type of woman, knowing they would not find your tastes…unappealing."

More silence. Then, "Maybe," he said, and there was hope in his voice this time, the guilt completely overshadowed.

Hope. She wouldn’t ponder the merits of it. Not tonight.

"Your nature is gentle," he added as an afterthought, "yet the very day we were reunited after months apart, you bit me."

"I was furious with you and scared for my family."

"Or Pain influenced you, luring you to attack me."

"Or I was furious and scared," she said again.

"As I said, your nature is gentle."

"Nope, sorry. I hate to disillusion you, but I’ve always had a volatile temper."

"I do not believe you."

"No," she said. "You believe me, you just don’t want to believe me. Why is that? Don’t want to admit we might be more alike than you’re comfortable with? Don’t think you’ll like who I really am?" Ouch. Just the thought sparked an ache in her chest.

"I like who you are. I am just scared of who you are. Sweet, passionate, giving, caring. And yes, a little wild. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted another."

Sweet Jesus. Words to melt the coldest of hearts.

"Tell me of your boyfriends," he commanded. The words lashed at her.

"You told me you never wanted me to discuss them."

"I changed my mind. I am a man, I’m allowed to do that."

She laughed. Gold star for Reyes for throwing her words back at her.

"Have you ever…loved a man?"

"No." Did she love Reyes? What she felt for him was so much more intense than anything she’d ever felt before. The fervent wanting and the craving and the softness inside her…. Shit, shit, shit. "But I’ve dated," she forced out. "A lot."

"What do you mean by a lot?" Some of the fierceness had left him. At least he no longer sounded ready to kill anyone who even glanced in his direction.

"A girl has to kiss a thousand frogs before she finds her prince, my sister used to tell me. I took that to heart and used to go out with anyone who would ask me. And just so you know, I was not easy."

"Easy?"

"You know, doing the naked tango with anyone who expresses interest."

Another almost snort. "Rest assured, I know you are far from easy." Then, "Did someone call you easy? If so, I will – "

"Reyes, stop," she said, unable to keep the laughter from her voice. His fierceness had returned full force. "No one called me easy." She loved that he was willing to destroy anyone who might have, though. "I just wanted to make sure you knew. I’ve only dated a few guys seriously."

"Shall I kill them?"

"Why, Reyes, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me."

Danika thought she heard him chuckle.

"I have never been in love," he said, surprising her.

Suddenly she felt like singing and dancing. He was hers, had always been hers. "Not even before you were possessed?"

"Not even before."

She tried to picture him as he must have been hundreds, thousands, of years ago but couldn’t. "What were you like? Back then?"

"I was like I am now, only…more relaxed, I suppose." He chuckled, a memory probably playing through his mind. That chuckle slid over her like a caress. "I did have a teasing side and used to torment Aeron relentlessly, hiding his weapons, cutting his hair while he slept. Finally, he started shaving it."

"I wish I could’ve known you."

"Perhaps it’s good you didn’t. We were like children back then. We were born fully formed of body, but our minds were new and we constantly marveled at the world around us. We trained to be warriors, yet had only the gods and their amusements as our role models."

Even with his description in her mind, she couldn’t picture him so childlike, laughing and running and teasing. "How is it possible you were born a fully grown man?"

"You mix the blood of a god, earth, fire, water…" His voice trailed off. "At least, that’s what we were told. And you? What were you like as a child?"

"Typical, I suppose. Tantrums and whining to get what I wanted. My mother used to call me her Tasmanian devil."