The Ending I Want

“Taylor…what’s wrong?” I’m moving toward her.

She winces, lips pinching. Her eyes close. Then, they open, and it’s like the light in them has been turned off.

Her lips part and whisper the words, “I’m so sorry, Hunter.”

And then she just drops to the floor.

“Taylor!” I run to her, falling to my knees beside her. I pull her into my arms.

She feels limp.

Fuck! No!

Eddie is here in seconds, and he’s in doctor mode.

“Taylor, honey.” He lifts open one of her eyes by gently pushing her lid up with his thumb, and he shines a light in it. A little torch he got from his pocket. “Taylor? Can you hear me, honey?”

She doesn’t respond.

Her eye…it looks…blank.

No.

My heart stops.

Leaning over her, Eddie presses his cheek against her chest.

Cam falls to his knees beside me. “I called an ambulance. One is on its way.”

“Is…she…” I stare at Eddie as he lifts his head, the words stuck in my throat.

“She’s breathing,” he says.

“Thank God,” Cam says.

All I can do is exhale as my heart starts back up.

Eddie picks up her wrist and starts checking her pulse.

My mouth is dry. “Ed…what’s wrong with her?” My voice sounds small.

Eddie’s stare meets mine. “I don’t know yet.” He looks back at Taylor and puts his hand to her face. “Taylor, honey, open your eyes for me.”

Nothing.

“Come on, Taylor. Wake up, honey. You’re scaring the shit out of Hunter, and you know what a giant pussy he is.” Eddie pats her cheek. “Come on, Taylor. Wake up, and I promise, I’ll buy the next round of drinks. Anything you want.”

But she’s not waking up. She’s not responding at all.

“Why isn’t she waking up?” My voice is panicked.

I’m scared. I’ve never been so afraid in all my life.

And helpless, so very fucking helpless.

“I don’t know.” Eddie slowly shakes his head.

“You don’t know?” I yell. “You’re a fucking doctor! You’re supposed to know! You’re supposed to help her!”

Knocking his hand from her face, I cup her cheek and turn her face to mine. “Come on, Taylor. Please open your eyes for me, baby. Please.”

I’ll beg, do whatever is necessary to get her to look at me again.

Please, Boston, please wake up.

I need you to be okay.

But she’s not responding, and I have never felt fear like this before in my life.

Unadulterated fear.

“Has she been ill at all recently?” Eddie asks me.

“No—well, yes. I mean, she gets these headaches from time to time.”

“What kind of headaches?”

“I don’t know! Headaches!” My fear is coming out as anger, and it’s directed at Eddie.

“Do the headaches last for long?” Eddie continues, my anger just brushing over him.

“No.” I shake my head, frustrated. “Well, yes. I mean, they come out of nowhere. She’s fine one minute, and then bam. They knock her off her feet—literally. One time, she vomited from the pain. But she takes these pills that her doctor gave her, and she’s fine a few minutes later.” I look him in the eyes. “That’s what I thought was happening just before she collapsed. She was clutching her head, like she always does when a headache is coming on.”

“Liam”—he slowly says my name. There’s caution in his voice, and it scares the shit out of me—“you say her doctor prescribes her these pills?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of pills are they?”

“I don’t know.” I grit my jaw, frustrated. And she doesn’t have her handbag with her so it’s not like I can check.

I look back down at her, rubbing my hand over her cheek, patting it.

Please, Taylor, please wake up.

“The headaches—has Taylor ever told you what causes them?” Eddie asks me, that fucking caution back in his voice.

“She had a brain tumor when she was sixteen,” I say, staring down at her. “She said the headaches are a lingering result of that.” But, as I say those words, as I hear them out loud, coming from my own mouth, it’s like I’m slowly slipping underwater.

The headaches.

Her list.

Things to Do Before I Die.

Fuck…no.

I meet Eddie’s eyes, and I see it written there. He thinks…

Jesus, Taylor.

No.

“No,” I say, my eyes filling with tears. I pull her closer to me, holding her close. “It’s not that. It’s not—no.” I firmly shake my head. “If the tumor were back, I would have known. She would have told me.”

Wouldn’t she?

“You’re probably right.” He doesn’t mean that. I can hear it in his voice. The dip in his tone. The way he flickers a glance at Cam. The concern in his eyes when he looks back down at Taylor.

My Taylor.

I hear the scream of an ambulance siren approaching in the distance.

“She’s going to be okay,” Cam says to me. His hand touches my shoulder and squeezes.

I stare blankly at him. Then, I take my eyes back down to Taylor’s beautiful face.

She looks like she’s sleeping.

Pain lances through me. I shut my eyes against the onslaught of emotions.

My mind is running wild with everything she has ever said to me.

“Babe, you’re rubbing cream onto my arse and singing Bieber’s ‘Sorry.’ Really not sure how to feel about that.”