The Gamble

Mom glared at the clerk. “Have you had salmon en croute?” she asked.

The clerk’s eyes came to me. “I saw five bags of grated mozzarella. Is that for your pasta bake?”

“Yes,” I answered and her eyes went back to Mom.

“Anything with mozzarella wins, especially five bags of it,” she declared, I laughed, thanked her then I tugged Mom through the checkout, commandeered our cart and headed to the car.

Mom fell in step beside me and she did this while pouting. I grinned at the cart full of food because I decided Mom was cute when she pouted. I had to admit I may have decided this because I had an amazing looking mountain man who was in love with me so pretty much anything would be cute.

Still, I said softly, “Stop pouting, Mom, we have today and then you’re off home. Don’t waste it pouting.”

She bleeped the locks on the car and pulled up the boot. “Okay but only if you promise me you won’t argue with what I tell you next.”

I didn’t have a good feeling about this. If there was anything that could put a dent in my euphoria, Mom’s craziness could.

I pulled the cart to a halt and rounded it, yanking out bags to put in the boot. “That depends on what you say next.”

“You can’t argue, Nina, because it’s important.”

I stopped loading bags because the tone of my mother’s voice made it sound important. I straightened and looked at her to see her face communicated what she was going to say was important too.

“What?” I whispered.

“You know what you told me on the way here about Max’s inheritance from that murdered man?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Well, I’m going to talk to Steve about us giving you some money to help with the taxes so Max doesn’t lose that land.”

I felt my face go soft and I moved closer to my Mom.

“You can’t do that, Mom. It’s sweet but Max would never let you,” I informed her.

“He won’t have a choice. I’ve been thinking about it and as far as I’m concerned, the way he is with you, the way you are with him, I see good things and so I’m thinking it would be me investing in my grandchildren’s future,” she replied, I pulled in a sharp breath at a thought I’d never had, having Max’s children, giving Max a family and I felt my body grow tight even as my heart wound up to sing. “He wants that mountain clean, you want that mountain clean and I want to do my bit to help you keep it clean for you, for Max, for your children, their children and so on.”

“Mom –”

“Don’t argue, sweetie, and don’t tell Max until I have a chance to talk to Steve.”

“You don’t have to talk to Steve, I’m selling Charlie’s house and using that money for the taxes,” I blurted before I even thought about it and then my body got tighter.

“You’re what?” Mom breathed, her eyes scanning my face, her face a mask of shock. She knew how I felt about Charlie’s house.

Oh my God. What was I saying?

Do it, Neenee Bean, Charlie said in my head, it’s time. Let the past go. Just let it go. I’ll always be right here.

Charlie – I started to say back.

Let it go, sweetheart, I want you to give this to Max, to your future. You don’t need that house to have me with you. I’ll always be with you.

Oh Charlie.

Always, Nina.

“Nina!” Mom called sharply, her hand squeezing my arm and I focused on her face and stopped talking to my dead brother in my head. “Are you really going to sell Charlie’s house?”

“He’d want me to,” I told her the truth. “I…” I looked at the grocery bags in the boot then back to my Mom. “I think I was holding onto him through that house because I didn’t have anything else. Not when I was with Niles. I was holding onto that house because I was trying to hold onto something Charlie. But Max told me that having the memory of Charlie is precious. And he’s right. And I have Charlie with me all the time. I don’t need his house to keep him with me. And I think, if Charlie was here and he could give it, he’d want to do what he could, just like you, to keep Max’s mountain clean for Max, for me and for…” I smiled but I felt my lips tremble as tears filled my eyes and I concluded, “Our kids.”

Mom’s eyes never left my face as she lifted her hand to cup my cheek.

“Love you, Nina,” she whispered.

“Love you too, Mom,” I whispered back, my hand coming up to curl around hers at my face.

“And I’m happy for you, sweetie,” she kept whispering.

“Me too,” I kept whispering back.

“I think you’re right about this. It would be what Charlie wanted. He’d want you to have everything you want and he’d want you to be happy.” Her fingers curled around mine and brought our hands down where she tightened her grip and shook them between us. “He’d like Max,” she finished.

“Yes,” I agreed.

Yes, Charlie said in my head and I laughed at Charlie.

Then I said to Mom, “Let’s get back to the house.”

We filled the trunk and Mom got in the passenger side as I hoofed the cart to the bay. I was turning around, my mind on pasta bake, family, friends and getting back to Max so I wasn’t looking where I was going and I ran smack into something solid.

I took a step back, lifting my chin, muttering, “Sorry,” when I saw Damon standing in front of me and my body locked.

“Pressed charges, English,” he hissed, “stupid. Seems you never learn but I’m gonna teach you.”

My body prepared to take flight as my mouth opened to scream but he landed a roundhouse punch to my temple and everything went black.

* * * * *

I came to in a truck bouncing along the main street in town. I blinked away the unconsciousness and could see I hadn’t been out for long. We’d barely left the grocery store.

My head turned left slowly and I pushed away from the door I was leaning on. Damon was behind the wheel.

I lifted my hand to my pounding temple and kept blinking against the fog in my eyes.

“Damon, pull over,” I said quietly.

“Shut your f**kin’ mouth, English,” Damon clipped back.

“Please, pull over.”

“Shut your f**kin’ mouth!” he snarled.

“Don’t do this,” I urged. “This isn’t smart.”

“Fuck you,” he bit out.