The Gamble
His fingers were in my hair, cupped against my head and he pulled me into him so my forehead was against his chest.
“All right, Duchess, I won’t be nice.”
My hands went to his stomach and I pushed at it as the tears clogged my throat and I choked, “You’re being nice!”
“Honey –”
My fingers curled into his t-shirt and I demanded, “Stop it!”
His hand at my head twisted it so my cheek was against his chest, his other arm went around me and he pulled me to his body which was shaking. “Baby,” his voice had laughter in it, “I’m not doing anything.”
I felt my breath hitch and at the sound his arm got tight and his fingers flexed against my scalp.
“I miss him,” I whispered and I didn’t know why, I didn’t even think the words before they came out of my mouth.
“I can tell.”
I pulled in a shaky breath then another one and the third went in smooth so I told him, “You can let me go now.”
“Keep tellin’ you when you’re in my arms, I like you where you are.”
“Max –”
His hand in my hair pulled my head back and when I was looking at him he declared, “Next up, we’re talkin’ ‘bout your Dad.”
“I don’t have a Dad.”
His brows slid together and he said, “You mentioned him earlier.”
“No, I mentioned my father,” I stated clearly. “I don’t have a Dad.”
“All right, then we’ll talk about your father.”
“No, since I never talk about him.”
“Nina.”
“Max.”
“Did I stay away long enough?” Mindy called, Max twisted, I got up on tiptoe to look over his shoulder and Mindy halted at the counter. “Whoops, see I didn’t.”
“You did,” I said quickly.
“I can come back.”
I pushed against Max’s stomach again, he released me and moved to my side as I said, “You’re fine.”
“Sure?” she asked.
“Definitely,” I replied.
Her eyes hit the stove and she observed, “Bacon’s all greasy, Max.”
“I’ll sort it out,” Max told her.
She skip-danced around the counter, throwing him a cheerful smile and I marveled this girl was raped three weeks ago. Marveled at the same time that the knowledge hit my stomach like a rotten pit.
“I’ll do it,” she offered and I saw she was in one of Max’s t-shirts and obviously her own jeans for they fit perfectly.
“You need a shirt?” I asked and she looked at me as she pulled paper towel off a holder.
“Uh, last night, I kinda got beer on –” she started but Max cut her off.
“Damon doused you with beer,” he stated and Mindy’s eyes flitted to him.
“Damon?” I asked, grabbing my bowl.
“Her dickhead boyfriend,” Max muttered, pulling down a plate and handing it to Mindy.
“He’s just –” Mindy began but Max interrupted her again.
“A dickhead,” Max declared.
Her face fell and she arranged paper towel on the plate.
I decided to wade in. “Why did he, um… I mean how did he get beer on you?”
“He threw it at her,” Max answered and Mindy ducked her head and pulled bacon out of the skillet.
“He threw a beer at you?” I asked Mindy, not comprehending these words, at least not in recent Nina Land with Niles who didn’t even drink beer just occasionally gin and tonics or wine with dinner and he wouldn’t begin to imagine dousing anyone with any liquid.
Older Nina Land was the land where there were dickheads who might (though they didn’t) douse women with beer. Though, maybe not women who’d recently been violated.
“He’s, not, really… coping… uh –” Mindy stammered.
Max’s hand went to the back of her neck and he said quietly, “She knows, Mins, I told her.”
Mindy nodded but didn’t lift her head from her bacon task and I squelched a new desire to throw my bowl at Max for he may not be okay with me being a bitch to Mindy but he certainly wasn’t handling this very well.
“He’s not coping with what happened to you,” I said to her and she nodded and took the last piece of bacon out of the skillet when I went on. “Men are idiots, mostly. Anyway,” I changed the subject. “Upstairs, my suitcase is on the armchair in Max’s loft. You can go through it, grab whatever top you want.”
Her head twisted to me and her eyes slid along my robe.
The she began, “I couldn’t –”
“Why not? You can’t wear that.” I dipped my head to Max’s t-shirt. “It’s huge on you.” And it was, she was swimming in it like I had but I’d worn his t-shirts to bed which was acceptable.
I pretty girl who’d just been raped? No.
She needed to remember she could look pretty and it was okay.
“But, your clothes are really nice. Becca said –”
I spooned up more fruit, yogurt and granola and smiled at her before asking, “You have a flesh-eating virus or something?”
She grinned at me and replied, “No.”
“Then go and pick something.”
Her eyes moved to the ceiling then to me and she said, “Anything off limits?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“You sure you’re sure?”
I shook my head but smiled and promised, “I’m sure I’m sure.”
“Cool!” she cried, dropped the bacon fork and skip-danced out of the kitchen.
I spooned breakfast in my mouth. Max’s eyes followed Mindy but since I was in the back recess I couldn’t see her. I knew when she was out of sight though because Max’s eyes came to me.
Then he came to me.
Since I was already against the counter, I had nowhere to retreat.
He got super close again, took the bowl out of my hand, the spoon out of the other, dropped the spoon in the bowl and set it on the counter.
I swallowed my food and demanded, “Would you quit taking that away? I’m trying to eat breakfast.”
I said this as I looked at the bowl. I should have kept my eyes on him. For, when my head twisted back, his hand came to my neck and his mouth came down on mine.
I really tried not to respond this time. I knew how good it could be so I thought I could steel myself against it.
I was wrong.