The Knife of Never Letting Go

“You were the final test,” Aaron says. “The last boy. The one that completes us. With you in the army, there’s no weak link. We would be truly blessed. If one of us falls, we all fall, Todd. And all of us have to fall.” He clenches his fists and looks up again. “So we can be reborn! So we can take this cursed world and remake it in–”

“I wouldn’t’ve done it,” I say and he scowls at the interrupshun. “I wouldn’t’ve killed anyone.”

“Ah, yes, Todd Hewitt,” Aaron says. “And that’s why yer so very very special, ain’t ya? The boy who can’t kill.”

I sneak a glance back to Viola, off to my side a little. We’re still going round in the little circle.

And Viola and I are reaching the side with the tunnel in it.

“But God demands a sacrifice,” Aaron’s saying. “God demands a martyr. And who better for the special boy to kill than God’s very own mouthpiece?”

“I don’t think God tells you anything,” I say. “Tho I can believe he wants you dead.”

Aaron’s eyes go so crazy and empty I get a chill. “I’ll be a saint,” he says, a small fire burning in his voice. “It is my destiny.”

He’s reached the end of the aisle and is following us past the last row of benches.

Viola and I are backing up still.

Almost to the tunnel.

“But how to motivate the boy?” Aaron continues, eyes like holes. “How to bring him into manhood?”

And his Noise opens up to me, loud as thunder.

My eyes widen.

My stomach sinks to my feet.

My shoulders hunch down as I feel weakness on me.

I can see it. It’s a fantasy, a lie, but the lies of men are as vivid as their truths and I can see every bit of it.

He was going to murder Ben.

That’s how he was going to force me to kill him. That’s how they woulda done it. To perfect their army and make me a killer, they were going to murder Ben.

And make me watch.

Make me hate enough to kill Aaron.

My Noise starts to rumble, loud enough to hear. “You effing piece of–”

“But then God sent a sign,” Aaron says, looking at Viola, his eyes even wider now, the blood pouring from the gash, the hole where his nose used to be stretching taut. “The girl,” he says. “A gift from the heavens.”

“Don’t you look at her!” I yell. “Don’t you even look at her!”

Aaron turns back to me, the smile still there. “Yes, Todd, yes,” he says. “That’s yer path, that’s the path you’ll take. The boy with the soft heart, the boy who couldn’t kill. What would he kill for? Who would he protect?”

Another step back, another step nearer the tunnel.

“And when her cursed, evil silence polluted our swamp, I thought God had sent me a sacrifice to make myself, one last example of the evil that hides itself which I could destroy and purify.” He cocks his head. “But then her true purpose was revealed.” He looks at her and back at me. “Todd Hewitt would protect the helpless.”

“She ain’t helpless,” I say.

“And then you ran.” Aaron’s eyes widen, as if in false amazement. “You ran rather than fulfil yer destiny.” He lifts his eyes to the church again. “Thereby making victory over you all the sweeter.”

“You ain’t won yet,” I say.

“Haven’t I?” He smiles again. “Come, Todd. Come to me with hate in yer heart.”

“I will,” I say. “I’ll do it.”

But another step back.

“You’ve been near before, young Todd,” Aaron says. “In the swamp, the knife raised, me killing the girl, but no. You hesitate. You injure but you do not kill. And then I steal her from you and you hunt her down, as I knew you would, suffering from the wound I gave you, but again, not enough. You sacrifice yer beloved dog rather than see her come to harm, you let me break his very body rather than serve yer proper purpose.”

“You shut up!” I say.

He holds his palms up to me.

“Here I am, Todd,” he says. “Fulfil yer purpose. Become a man.” He lowers his head till his eyes are looking up at me. “Fall.”

I curl my lip.

I stand up straighter.

“I already am a man,” I say.

And my Noise says it, too.

He stares at me. As if staring thru me.

And then he sighs.

Like he’s disappointed.

“Not yet a man,” he says, his face changing. “Perhaps not ever.”

I don’t step back.

“Pity,” he says.

And he leaps at me–

“Todd!” Viola yells–

“Run!” I scream–

But I’m not stepping back–

I’m moving forward–

And the fight is on.

I’m charging at him and he’s throwing himself at me and I’m holding the knife but at the last second, I leap to the side, letting him slam hard into the wall–

He whirls around, face in a snarl, swinging an arm round to hit me and I duck and slash at it with the knife, cutting across his forearm, and it don’t even slow him down–

And he’s swinging at me with his other arm and he’s catching me just under the jaw–

Knocking me back–

“Todd!” Viola calls again–

I tumble backwards onto the last pew, falling hard–

But I’m looking up–

Aaron’s turning to Viola–

She’s at the bottom of the stairs–

“Go!” I yell–

But she’s got a big flat stone in her hands and launches it at Aaron with a grimace and an angry grunt and he ducks and tries to deflect it with one hand but it catches him cross the forehead, causing him to stumble away from both her and me, towards the ledge, towards the front of the church–

“Come on!” Viola yells to me–

I scramble to my feet–

But Aaron’s turned, too–

Blood running down his face–

His mouth open in a yell–

He jumps forward like a spider, grabbing Viola’s right arm–

She punches fiercely with her left hand, bloodying it on his face–

But he don’t let go–

I’m yelling as I fly at them–

Knife out–

But again I turn it at the last minute–

And I just knock into him–

We land on the upslope of the stairs, Viola falling back, me on top of Aaron, his arms boxing my head and he reaches forward with his horrible face and takes a bite out of an exposed area of my neck–