The Lover’s Secret (No Exceptions #1)(23)
Author: J.C. Reed

“But what?” Sylvie prodded impatiently.

I let out a frustrated sigh, then pretended to take a sip of the hot beverage, when all I wanted was the warmth to comfort my cold hands. The cup took the chill out of my fingers, but the warmth didn’t reach the freezing sensation settling around my heart. “I’m pregnant…and to be honest, I can’t really wait that long. Call me old-fashioned, but I need more. I need some sort of assurance that we’ll last. A little more proof that we’re in it for the long haul and not just for fun.”

I eyed the liquid in my cup. Before I met Jett, my life had been dark in so many ways: impenetrable. Unforeseeable. Always filled with the need to stay awake, out of fear that my nightmares might just become real. Now things were different, and I couldn’t help but wonder how my life would turn out if he ever left. Because a breakup was a possibility, what with my body changing in the coming months and the child demanding all of our attention. And even if he still found me attractive after I gained too much baby weight in all the wrong places, what if the years would pass us by and Jett continued to shy away from any sort of official commitment? Where would that leave me?

“You could propose to him, you know,” Sylvie suggested. “Many women do it nowadays. All we’d need is a ring.”

I snorted.

Granted, it wouldn’t have been a bad idea…under different circumstances. Maybe if I were dating a guy who didn’t mean so much to me. But I would never propose to someone like Jett, because a rejection from him would break my heart.

“It’d be pointless,” I mumbled. “He’s had more women than he can count.”

“So? He has you now. Who cares about before?”

“Well, I do,” I whispered. “It just proves that someone like him doesn’t commit easily. He said his past doesn’t matter, that I’m the exception, the only woman he’s ever loved.”

“Sounds romantic,” Sylvie cut in.

“Sounds like bullshit, coming from someone who doesn’t like to be tied down.” When Sylvie inclined her head, clearly unconvinced, I continued, “Did it ever occur to you that he might only be asking for that absurd promise because I’m pregnant and he just wants the child in his life?”

For a second, we stared at each other in silence.

It was only when Sylvie’s gaze fell on the necklace that I remembered how much Jett cared for me. He did his best to make me happy. Just because he had his personal views on official, legal commitment, it shouldn’t matter if he and I got married or not, as long as we stayed together. I suddenly realized I was being too harsh on him. Instinctively, I touched the pendant, and guilt washed over me for wanting so much of him when he already did more than anyone had ever done before.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered in a feeble attempt to conceal my inner thoughts. “I shouldn’t think of him that way. He’s trying so hard to make it work that I have no right to judge him.”

Sylvie grabbed my hand again. “It doesn’t matter. It’s how you feel. And I totally get you, Brooke.” Her voice came so low that I wasn’t sure I heard her right.

“You do?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes. In some crazy way, I do.” Sylvie smiled and squeezed my hand again. “It’s your right to have wishes and dreams. We all have them. It’s what makes us who we are—susceptible, stupid, and blind. But love gives us hope to live another day.”

That was why I loved Sylvie. She never judged me, but more importantly, she understood where I was coming from—at least most of the time.

“I’m not really an expert in relationships. You, of all people, should know that,” Sylvie said. That was true. She was anything but a relationship guru. In fact, she usually shied away from them like the plague.

“But I know this. Marriage is not such a big deal,” she continued. “People think that once they’re married, problems won’t ever arise, but the truth is, there’s always work to be done, marriage license or not. Two people can be married and still not be committed to each other. But then two people can be committed and happy without having to be married. My point is…you don’t need a ring to prove that your love is real, because marriage doesn’t give your relationship a day off work. It doesn’t make it easier or give you the happiness you should find within yourself.”

“So, what do you advise?”

She hesitated before she proceeded warily. “Since Jett’s your first real relationship, I say you should throw caution out the window. Just go with it, and stop being overcautious.”

“Great.” I sucked in my lower lip. “I’m overcautious, and he’s overprotective. What a perfect combination.”

“Better a careful combination than nothing at all,” she said. “At least Jett wants to know how you are and what you do.”

Was that bitterness talking?

Her tone made me look up, and something passed between us. It was just a moment, but it was enough to know what that look meant.

“Has Kenny called?” I asked, treading carefully.

“I wish.” Sylvie smirked. “But it’s not the end of the month yet, so he might decide to.”

I nodded encouragingly as I tried to conjure Kenny’s face before my eyes. Just like Jett, he was sexy, tattooed, and had trouble written all over his forehead. The two of them were best friends. On the few occasions when I had met Kenny, he had been distant, taciturn even, so it came as no surprise that I barely knew anything about him.

“I’m sorry,” I said when Sylvie remained silent, playing with the spoon.

“Don’t be.”

“He probably has a good excuse.”

“More like a lame one.” She checked her cell phone and shrugged. “You’re so fortunate, Brooke. Your lucky stars have sent you a good guy. Knowing my crappy luck, my soulmate is probably some loser who’s too busy playing video games to find me. In all seriousness, though, I’d rather have your problems than be stuck with a guy who doesn’t have time for a relationship. Trust me, I’d rather be in a relationship with the prospect of getting married in five years than in one with a status saying indefinitely undefined.”

Chapter 14

There was something depressing in knowing Sylvie was unlucky in her love life when I was the one with the perfect boyfriend. Okay, Jett wasn’t perfect. He had the perfect body, the perfect dimples. He knew how to give me mind-blowing orgasms, and he was sexy as hell, but he wasn’t perfect…because he hadn’t proposed yet.