The One That I Want(35)
Author: Jennifer Echols

Carter waited for me on a bench outside the multiplex theater. Predictably, his blond brows knitted when he saw me. His head moved up and down, like if he took in my outfit from another angle, he might understand why I was wearing a pink bowling shirt. Beside him on the bench sat:

10. A teddy bear from one of those stores where you made it yourself so you could personalize it to your own tastes, if you were five, or to the tastes of your girlfriend, if you thought she was five. I had been to birthday parties there when I was little. I knew there were lots of animals to choose from, with various clothes and wigs. In fact, there was probably a purple hair option and a majorette costume in there somewhere, but what did I get? A plain brown bear wearing a T-shirt that said I LOVE YOU.

Those three words made me ill. It was the sweetest sentiment, but not one that I shared. As I sat beside Carter on the bench and he kissed me hello, I couldn’t imagine he felt that way either. We had never said I love you to each other, and yet he was giving it to me on a bear?

I was being petty, which made me mad at myself, which made me more upset. And lest I try to accept the bear graciously and then hide it away forever, it was huge, the largest size. Instead of me, Carter, Addison, and Max on my birthday date, it was me, Carter, and taxidermy.

“Aw, Carter,” I managed. I did not say, It’s so cute! because I didn’t want to encourage this sort of thing.

He hardly acknowledged my answer. “Good,” he said. Mission accomplished, job over. He stood up and held his hand out to me. “Let’s go.”

As we walked toward the theater entrance, I asked casually, “So, why couldn’t Max come?”

Carter frowned down at me. “Our football team had a scrimmage game at school this afternoon. It didn’t go well.”

I went cold in the hot evening. “You mean he got hurt?”

Carter shrugged. “I think the only thing hurt was his pride.”

I was dying to know what had really happened, but I let it go. I didn’t think I could pry the truth out of Carter. I would have to get the story from Max.

Carter and I had the most difficult time carrying on a conversation. Truthfully, a lot of the blame rested with me. I had plenty to tell him. I’d gotten great gifts from my friends, my driver’s license, and a frickin’ Benz. But I was afraid that if I mentioned my car, he would want to see it, which would drag the date out longer. I never said a word.

He chose the movie. He didn’t ask me what I wanted to see, and I didn’t realize that he’d chosen without asking me or that he was paying my way until he produced our tickets. It was a slasher film, my very least favorite. He had tried to do something nice for my birthday, but this was not a gift I wanted.

After he handed over the tickets at the door, he went straight to the concessions line without asking me whether I wanted anything. I didn’t. And if I had, I could have bought it myself. Not sure whether he wanted me to stay with him or go away, I waited half a step behind him, edging forward when he advanced in the line. We didn’t talk. After he ordered, he turned from the counter holding a vat of soda and a barrel of popcorn. That was par for his usual appetite, so I didn’t think much of it.

But after the three of us had settled in our seats—the bear needed one of his own—Carter held the popcorn over the armrest between us, invading my personal space with the warm, buttery aroma, and shook the tub. “Have some.”

“No, thanks,” I said quickly. I wasn’t hungry. At all.

“What do you mean, no thanks? It cost a fortune.”

I was stunned. At least the previews were already rolling, so we had an excuse not to argue. I heard Max’s voice in my head: I did not like complicated relationships. Maybe I should complicate this one by telling Carter that he shouldn’t buy me something I didn’t want, then act resentful about it and blame the waste of money on me. But Carter should know this already. And I didn’t want to point it out to him, because that might extend our date.

As the movie began, I let my mind wander so I wouldn’t have to watch it. I wondered whether Carter had started the argument as an excuse not to kiss me. Because he didn’t touch me during the film. Not once.

Finally the credits rolled. Carter placed the popcorn container on the floor. It was empty. He stood and stretched himself to ten or eleven feet. I was about to launch into an excuse for why I needed to leave when he said, “Wow, I’m really beat after our scrimmage today. I hope you don’t mind, but I think I’m going to call it a night.”

“Oh, that’s okay!” I said, trying not to sound ecstatic. We walked outside without another word. Pausing at the edge of the parking lot, we and the bear hugged awkwardly, with no kiss.

I said, “Thanks.”

He said, “Happy birthday.”

The bear and I walked to the Benz. I looked around to make sure Carter wasn’t watching me from across the parking lot, then put the bear in the trunk.

Back in the car, I picked up the envelope Max had sent my CD in and plugged the return address into the GPS on the dashboard. I was surprised at the results. His house and mine were only ten minutes apart. A lot closer than my house and Addison’s.

Common sense said I should not go over to my best friend’s date’s house. But I was not going over there to steal him. This was totally different. In the next few days, when I found the words, I would call Carter to tell him I didn’t want to see him anymore. Addison could find another way to go out with Max—meet him in a well-lighted place that her mom would approve of, or rope another majorette into going out with Carter.

Tonight, I only wanted to see Max to make sure he was okay after his scrimmage.

And to say good-bye.

Max’s neighborhood reminded me of the one surrounding Little Five Points, with small yards overflowing with summer flowers. The houses were bungalows from the twenties rather than rambling Victorians. Max’s house was gray wood with a rock foundation, a wide front porch, a red door, and white flowers in the window boxes. It looked so sweet that I hated to disturb his happy family with my teen drama.

I might want to say good-bye, but I didn’t have to do that at nine o’clock at night. It would look weird to his mom. Depending on whether she was one of those moms who got close to her son’s girlfriends, she might mention my visit to Addison. Hell, Max might mention it to Addison.

Though I didn’t think so.

I pulled into their driveway, behind Max’s enormous car, and sat there in the dark for a few minutes, wondering what to do. Should I back out and go home? That was definitely the best plan. But I would not be able to sleep tonight. I would be tortured until I settled things with Carter and Max. I couldn’t leave yet.